Friend help, please help me out, how should I have handled the situation yesterday and what should I do now?

Question

Why can't I just gather the courage to call her up?

Answer 1

No point in telling you what you "should have" done yesterday, but I think you should definitely try to get in touch with her again.

I once had a very good friend that suddenly cut off contact with me. Our circumstances were a bit different - we'd been long distance friends for quite a while (cross the Atlantic), then I went to visit him and his family for a couple of weeks, and at the end he told me he loved me. I didn't react really well (having just come out of an intense relationship myself), and he pretty much just stopped writing.

Several years later, I got an email from him out of the blue. When I had gone to visit him, he'd just been diagnosed with malaria he'd caught while on a trip to South America. It had gone undiagnosed long enough that it had become very hard to treat, and he had a lot of health problems for several years. He told me that the experience had taught him how important real friends were, and that he'd like to be in touch again. I was thrilled, and now today, 11 years after we first met and 9 years after we split, we're good friends again.

What I'm trying to tell you is - don't feel like you have to come up with some big speech or explanation. She should understand that you were going through an awful time back then. Just tell her what you told us - that her friendship was really important to you back then and that you're sorry that you lost touch but would like to see her again. Unless she's developed a heart of stone in the last few years (unlikely), she'll say yes. Don't expect to be best friends again overnight, but there's no reason to think she won't want to try being friends again. One more word of advice - just don't try to leap right into anything romantic (if that's your line of thinking). You'll both have changed a lot - just get to know each other again first.

Answer 2

what are you expecting from her? to be your friend or more than that? ...............the way you asking your question, i felt like you are somehow expecting her to be your girlfriend or something like that. But i dont know. what are you up to?  Just find her phone number and call her. maybe in few days, you'll get close enough to settle your problem. Finding her phone number seems to be difficult but you still have to do it anyway...........................

Answer 3

Don't ever give up on making her your friend again. Thats the first and main thing. She would have to feel the same way about you as you do her seeing as you both spent so many years being so close. When you saw her in the book store, after you left she probably stood there asking herself the same questions. She didn't know what to say to you and she most likely wanted to. Perhaps she was suprised when she saw you and her mind went blank. Or maybe that boy that was with her was her boyfriend and she felt too afraid to say much to you incase he got the wrong picture. I lost my best friend who was a boy because of my boyfriend being the jealous type. If you can get into touch with her anytime soon don't hesitate. And as for the summer, you won't regret it if you atleast tried to catch up with her. Just remember, old friends are the best friends.