Friend is Going to Kill Himself If I don't...?

Question

...date and have s*x with him.. You see, we've been friends for a long while, and I'd sensed that he suffered from depression (among other things) for quite some time; at one point, he got so bad that I had to call his school guidance counselor to get him on track. I recently found out that he's in love with me, since I'm "the reason he is alive" and I don't like him in that way, at all, nor would I ever have s*x. If I were to tell him no, he'd probably kill himself.. he keeps going on and on about how he's cutting himself every second I ignore his request, and I don't know what to do... help?

Answer 1

He is an attention seeker and if it wasn't you he would be doing it to someone else. If he kills himself it's because he's suicidal, not because you are rejecting him

Answer 2

Tell your friend that that's absolutely absurd. Going to kill himself if you don't date him and have s*x with him? Just be honest with him, that's all you can do. Explain to him the way you feel and how you feel about the whole situation. Tell him not to end his life just because of one person's different feelings. I would actually stay far away from him after you explain what you need to, but make it clear what you want him to know. Try to get him help, from anybody. But yeah, if he's going to consider suicide because you won't do that, than there really are problems mentally that need to be fixed and you should let somebody know.

Answer 3

Beth said it - you're being emotionally manipulated.  His behavior suggests Borderline Personality Disorder (the cutting combined with the manipulation) but I'm not doctor.  But I do know enough to know that he needs serious help and you can't give it to him (neither can a school guidance counsler).  If he's that serious about killing himself tell him to go to a hospital.  It's not your job to save him.  He needs professional help.  Tell him to get it.

Answer 4

you should tell his parents, or just give in to his requests.

Answer 5

um get away from him this is not good for you or him, he needs help and he aint going to get it if ur around he is opssed with you and wants attention call his bluff, call the police call his parents!

Answer 6

if he loves you then he should not torture your mind by killing himself if you don't give his demands. he is really sick and you don't deserve that kind of guy. just call the cops and let them do the things for you

Answer 7

You need to believe that you are not responsible for his behaviour, actions or feelings. Stay away from him, tell his parents that he is suicidal and walk away. RUN!

Dont let urself be manipulated by a man this young. Its emotional blackmail. Say no now, and save many years of this c**p

love beth  

Answer 8

The fact that he is trying to manipulate you into having s*x with him, shows that if you did agree to it he would also try to manipulate you in other ways as well.

If you want to do something to help him ask him if he would like to see a counsellor or psychologist WITH you to talk about his cutting himself and his attempts at suicide or having suicidal thoughts.  Broaden his group of friends so that he has many more people that he can talk with besides yourself.  Take him out somewhere with a group of people and make it a regular event.  See if there are areas in his life where he excels and encourage him in those things and to join groups where that interest is the focus.  

Discourage him from listening to music that focus' on death and other problems.  Discourage him from remaining alone all the time or from closing himself off from others or from doing activities that isolate him from others.  Discourage him from asking you to have s*x as you are not interested in him in that way.

Good luck.

Answer 9

seek professional help. perhaps you could speak to his parents about this and see if you can come up some kind of arrangement to have this friend of yours see a psychiatrist. if they can't help him, then im afraid the only option is to have him put into a mental institution. if he's a teenager, the psychiatrist would recommend a mental ward for teens. if you really don't want to do that, then i would suggest talking to him about all this. get him to open up to you. introduce him to new people. let it be known to him that you're only there for him as a friend. or perhaps introducing him to new things. like, games, or sport. something that he'd be good at. tell him that it doesnt matter if you win or lose, as long as you give it your best shot.

Answer 10

I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. Weather or not your friend is mentally ill, that's no excuse for him to manipulate you, which is what he is doing, probably intentionally Im afraid to say.

You cant hold the burden of being someones one reason for living, its not fair on you, and you'll be no help to him if you yourself get down because of the situation!

Make it clear to your friend that although you're here for him as a friend unconditionally to support him, you only see him as a very special friend and that its not fair of him to emotionally blackmail you.

I know you dont want to break his trust but if he is cutting himself he is putting himself in danger. If he cant be encouraged to speak to a family member, responsible adult or health professional himself then you need to on his behalf.

Its too much for you to deal with alone and your friend needs medical help to get himself back on track and enjoying life again.

Good luck.

Answer 11

No matter what, you should never compromise your virtue because of someone else's actions. It's important to be there for your friend, but if he was truly your friend (and mentally stable) he wouldn't base his entire life around having s*x with you. I think that if you believe he really might kill himself, you need to tell someone. It's good that you told his counselor, but he/she might not be able to do all that someone closer to him (like a parent) could do. Here are some sites that might help:

http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/whattodo...

http://www.suicidal.com/

I hope this helps