Friends daughter called me Mom?

Question

My husband works with his best friend, Jake.

Jakes' family and our family did basically everything together.

When Jake and his wife started the process of divorcing, their adorable 3 yr old daughter Jocelyn would come and stay at our house for weekends or sometimes weeks at a time.

My husband and I have had a horrible time trying to successfully have a child, so having Jocelyn around really brightened our days.

We watched her on and off for about 6-7 months before the actual custody battle began.

I am a stay at home wife, so when Jake went to work, I would watch Jocelyn on the days that he had her and he would pick her up after work.

Well, Jocelyn started in on calling me Mom, right at about that time.

My husband said to just ignore it and she would stop.

I did ignore it, but they just kept coming.

I tried to explain to her that I was just a friend of her daddies and that she could call me Aunt Meg if she wanted, instead of Mom.

It didn't help.

Her mother picked her up from my care one afternoon and I explained the situation to her, hoping she could explain it to Jocelyn.

She became irate, claiming that I was trying to steal her child and that Jocelyn was no longer to stay with my family.

I don't want to be in the middle of this, I was just trying to help out a family friend.

Anyone have any ideas?

Answer 1

It seems to me you didn't do anything wrong. As long as you didn't tell her to call you mommy or anything, which i would suppose you didn't. you did the right thing with her calling you aunt meg. If i were you i would try to discuss it with her mother again. It seems she doesn't understand that you were just trying to help.

Answer 2

it was a mistake not to correct her form of address from the first, but now it is a done deal, and has upset her own mother... let it go.  no good can come of struggle over it.  If the mother does not wish for the child to stay with you, that is her right... and if the child is calling *you* mom, perhaps it is high time

I have various kids who have called me mom, sometimes just because the person who is takes care of them and responds to distress is summoned by the word mom, and some as a kind of honorary extra mom... But a small child should know you have some other name, even if she does not choose to use it often.

Answer 3

awh u didn't do anything wrong so it's not ur fault

u were doing wat a great friend does so just forget about it

and u should continue to take of of jocelyn

Answer 4

She is just so angry and hurt right now, that she's lashing out on you. She probably hates how she's losing her husband, so her biggest fear is probably losing her daughter too. Just let it go and keep your distance from her. I'm sure one day when all is over and calm, she will come back and apologize and thank you for all you did.  

Answer 5

that is sooooooooooo sad

ya when i first saw the title to this question i was like...

oh ya of course some little kids accsidently call someone mom (when it isnt there mom)

but then u explained it and now ...... why am i saying all this?

ok ANYWHO!

IDEAS:

well maybe you should try to explain it more throughly

idk

you probably know that she is under ALOT of stress with divorcing and all..... it must be hard..

she might not be acting quite as normally as she would have if she wasnt divorcing.

maybe when the whole thing is over you should talk to her and apologize (just pretend u did something wronge)(it will make her feel better)

and maybe she will be all right and there you go!

sorry that is all i can think of in this sad sad sad situation

so sorry :(

BTW i also agree with this answer

bye... Saoirse C

If you are looking after someone elses daughter so much that she wants to call you mom, then the mother should quit being such a silly woman and look after her own daughter more. Its not your fault you are doing a better job than she is. Tell her she needs to spend more time with her daughter and explain you are a "aunt"

best of luck!

~kenz

Answer 6

actually it's your friend's fault... she became irresponsible and neglects her duty... you did it instead of her so the kid see you as her mom...

Answer 7

It's tough on the kid, and dangerous to get caught in the middle. The child's mum is understandably upset but what can you do? You were only trying to help and I'm sure you did. Don't close your doors to them, but be careful.

Answer 8

keep persisting keep telling her its aunty meg

Answer 9

it's not a matter of you replacing her mother. to her mom is a lady that daddy likes and is around and takes care of her. mom is a lady that disciplines her, takes care of teaches her and guides her. its like when children call their teachers mom by mistake. you need to explain the situation to the father, tell him you mean no harm. if he is your friend he will understand. the little girl will stop when she gets older and can understand what is going on. she is way to young to even remotly understand a divorce or have any idea what's going on other than her life is turned completly upside down. lets see dad is a constant, mom is a constant, and aunt meg is a constant so she must be like mommy. you did nothing wrong, and neither did that sweet little girl. the mother is over reacting. if the little girl does it again, just respond with no aunt meg silly! don't make it an issue. she'll get it eventually

Answer 10

If you are looking after someone elses daughter so much that she wants to call you mom, then the mother should quit being such a silly woman and look after her own daughter more. Its not your fault you are doing a better job than she is. Tell her she needs to spend more time with her daughter and explain you are a "aunt"