Friends plz help me?

Question

im married for 4 yrs my husband doesnt trust me at all ,he treats me like a culprit or thief.he has a password set for his mobile and computer ,he carries the locker key with him to office.all these years ive spent the money he gave me as pocket money(about 100$ all these yrs) only for him i.e buying gifts for his b'day .i havent spent a single dollar for myself.i thought his trust would grow after sometime in marriage and he would treat me well but he doesnt.when i ask him that i feel very bad he doesnt care and says his character is like that and he cant change.but he doesnt cheat with me.i feel very bad about this,does this happen in all relationships ? how to make him open up to me and trust me ? or is this what all husbands do? iam confused plz help me

thanks in advance

Answer 1

It doesn't sound like he distrusts you specifically, the way you are putting it it sounds as though he simply has very security conscious habits.

Some people are like that! Not all people, but if they are like that you can't and should not try to change them. That sounds like an important part of who he is. You don't need in his locker or in his computer, do you? Does being kept out of these places represent an actual inconvenience for you? Or do you just wish you had access to places where you would never end up going?

It is understandable to want access to that you will never need or use.. that is pretty much the same feeling he is expressing. He is excersizing security he would never need, just to practice the habit. I lock my car doors all the time, always. Even when I park my car in a small town. I KNOW nobody there will steal my car, I am not saying bad things about the town, it is just easier for me to be in the habit where I always lock, and don't have to decide when to lock and when not.

So, if you can, try to work within this structure your husband prefers. It does not do to rail against it simply because it's there. If some security measure really does make your life hard you should let him know. If he is proud of his security measures, then he will be glad to demonstrate his ability to rearrange them to accommodate your requirements.

Try to see past this and focus on the more fun things you can do together! You don't have to prove anything, just don't be upset by this odd character trait. ^_^