Friends question my sexuality I try explaining but they don't seem to understand, how do I get message across?

Question

I went on a trip to Amsterdam with a group of ten guys they are married or divorced or co-habiting.. It was my very first visit to Amsterdam. I am still a virgin and I am 35 years old I never had a girlfirend or boyfriend. I am happy on my own.When I got there the guys went to the Red Light district and I was totally stunned as I am not used to the openness of the area.. I did not look at the women because I found it a but much... and now one of the guys' wife is accusing me of being g*y... I said if it was all men in that area I would be the same its a bit much I did not know what to expect. I am effeminate myself I try telling my friends I am not g*y, there are guys who are effeminate and not g*y. They don't seem to appreciate that, She actually accused me of spoiling people's fun...so its like either I get a woman or I am g*y!! I have nothing against g**s they can be nice people but I don't have sexual feelings for men.I was raped and sexually assaulted before and I don't want to tell her everything because its personal and not her business anyway, she wants to know everything!what do I do how do I convince them I am not gey? Thank you for your time reading this.

Answer 1

Tell her to concern herself with her own lack of self esteem..she may be happy to live with a man who thinks going to a red light district is a bit of fun, so get on with it you deluded little woman! As for your personal private life none of their goddam business! So, if you are not into exploiting women, treating them as some form of cheap disposable entertainment you must be g*y, and that would be a terrible thing? Do not be tempted to go down their ignorant homophobic line as well! Be true to yourself, and do what makes you feel happiest. This idea that all g**s are screaming and all lesbians butch is just absolute c**p! Let's just see how g*y this woman feels when she comes down with a dose from a husband who likes having a manly laugh!

Oh! and do not then go down the vile misogynyst road of making salacious jokes about women like a few on here!

Answer 2

This woman "accuses" you of being g*y? So it's a criminal offence again or what? Tell her to stop judging people by her own standards and mind her own business. If her idea of fun is to accompany her husband on a tour of the red light district of Amsterdam, she needs to set her own house in order before interfering in yours.

Perhaps you could get some new friends? Friends who try to force you to be like them aren't worth having.

Answer 3

tell her that you are a kind man, you feel that starring or looking at women is invading their privacy and perverted. You like to give women there space and respect them as individuals in the manly society.

Answer 4

From personal experience and questions about my sexuality, I would say you don't owe anyone any explanation.

I hate when my friends ask me all these questions and I ask, how does any of this effect you? Unless some one is interested in me, I see no real reason to make some huge deal or even discuss my sexuality.

People have a funny way of needing to place things into tight little groups. If something can't be grouped into one or the other, it confuses people and upsets their nature. I doubt your friend really cares about your sexuality, she just wants to have a category to put you in. A real friend would allow you to be yourself, not try to change you or convince you to be something you aren't.

Answer 5

Have a quiet word with her, and tell her that your sexuality is your business, and maybe if it doesn't agree with her, she should keep away from you - that you don't do anything illegal, and that she should learn to live and let live.  I wouldn't want to see a Red-Light area meat-market.

Answer 6

Dude!  That's a bad situation to be in and I feel for you!

The truth is that you shouldn't give a monkeys about what they think - but I can tell that you are sensitive and so that is not an easy thing to do!

You need to get your message across to them individually as you have here, to us!  Telling them when they are all together will just give them the opportunity to "gang up" and have a go, whereas a one to one talk should get the message across!

Good luck - some of us understand where you are at!

Answer 7

You shouldn't really need to convince them, Why should they really be bothered? its your decision anyway, and don't lots of women see being more femme as a good thing generally?

Answer 8

Just tell them your a virgin. That would shut them up.  

Answer 9

first of all im sorry to hear that you went through such a bad time!!!

then u tell this woman to **** off and mind her business just because you're not with a woman doesnot mean u want 2 be with a man thats rediculous!!!

when she was single n not looking for anything does that mean she was a L*****n; no of course not!!!

tell them all its none of there business u r who u r n it doesnt matter either way but u are straight.

Answer 10

Mate, why are you being so bloody reasonable?

F**k that - kick this malicious ***** in the crutchpiece and throw her over a suitable bridge! Or get cross and tell her she's mean - whatever constitutes rage with you. But don't put up with all that c**p!

You absolutely do not have to prove a damned thing to anybody in this life. You're not on trial, except by some jumped-up kangaroo court.

Jeeze, I dunno who I'd like to punch most - You for being such a doormat or her for being such a cow.

Frickin' earthlings!

Who needs 'em?

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

Answer 11

if it were as simple as you being g*y you would have had a bf already right?

use a 2-D graph

one dimension can be your interest and the other dimension is sexuality.

nymphomania

|

|

|----------------------(them)

|

|

|

|

|-----------------------(you)

g*y<---------------------->straight

|

disinterest

i am similar to you but i spend lots of time contemplating~

PS tell the women to stfu and clean the sand out of their vag then they can come back and talk to you about the fact that you simply arent interested.

Answer 12

dont be a drama queen and get a nice girl  

Answer 13

If you are not g*y then you got nothing to be afraid of. You should just ignore her if not warn her not to accuse you as g*y or else you going to get nasty as she is annoying and is uncomfortable if everybody start to mistaken you as g*y when you are not so just tell her that. Just say you are not that kind of guy who simply jump on any girls.

It's ok, we g**s can understand why you don't wish to be accuse to be g*y. I mean, who want those aren't necessary attention?

Answer 14

If they're your friends they'll believe you.

And go out and try it all!  Find out for yourself!

Answer 15

First of all, you don't owe anyone an explanation for how you live your life and things you choose.  

So you're a sensitive, feminine man. Big deal.  I know several, and yeah, a lot of people assume they are g*y, but they're not.  Maybe tell her to get over her stereotypes and learn to see people on a deeper level. Assumptions are not always right. No one knows you better than you.

For what it's worth, I get this a LOT.  I'm a female-to-male transsexual and I get accused of being a g*y man all the time,(I like girls and other pre-op transmen by the way..no penises)  It's like if you're sensitive, compassionate, well educated, use proper grammar, and have any concern at all for how you look, then everyone assumes you're g*y.  I find these qualities to be POSITIVE things and not something I'm willing to give up for the sake of social conformity.  Take pride in yourself and the positive qualities you possess and f**k all the rest.