Friends with benefits?

Question

So one of my best guy friend and I have been close for a while. Recently we both told each other we were into each other, but we don't want to ruin our friendship. He suggested we be "friends with benefits" ... and I said ok (not planning on having s*x). But some of my friends think it'll make it worse for us? Should I tell him I don't want to be in a friendship like that or I do? I kind of want to..

Answer 1

It has the potential to mess up friendships...sometimes people develop feelings.

Answer 2

Just make sure to talk it out before you make any decisions, that way you can <try> to avoid awkwardness.

Answer 3

This may sound a little funny.  If he's your friend and your his friend, what is there to ruin?  Are you both assuming that something will go wrong?  What if it goes right and your friendship turns into the love of your life?

If you're really into the guy, but you're holding back chances are you're really NOT into the guy, right?  

What I'm saying is that you'll never gain anything if you don't take a chance.  And now that you don't want to be his friend "with benefits", he might make you out to be a sister type.  So, is that what you want?

So, why not take a chance, and get a little love? It might be the best thing for you both.  And not matter what happens you will always care for one another if it doesn't work out.  At least if you're mature about it.  

But you should never get naked with someone unless you are willing to be hurt.  But if he's your friend, and you get hurt by getting involved, then you are both to blame for the pain.  And you have no way of predicting that.  So the question is now, do you feel insecure?

For example, I'm still really great friends with my first girlfriend, even though we both married someone else.  We didn't become friends with benefits, although we kiss a few times.  And now, we're both married to other people, but we're still attracted to one another and we always wonder what it would be like.  Unfortunately for my friend and I, we can never share our feelings in the company of other people now...and also rarely admit it to ourselves because it's uncomfortable to think about.

Based on that experience, I say it's better to love and lose, than to wonder your whole life what your friend feels like.  s*x is a gift that good friends should give one another freely, and without jealousy.  Because jealousy kills relationships, not s*x.

If you don't want to have s*x, that's one thing.  But if you don't want to have s*x because you think you'll ruin something, you're fooling yourself.  Not having s*x can ruin it too.

Having s*x with someone you really care about is a gift.  Just think how many people out there have s*x with people that they don't care about only to think later in life that they only wish they did.

It's your choice, but I always advocate for loving and having s*x with your friends even if you don't know what will happen.  Nothing in life is certain, and you'll never know what it's like to live life if you don't take a chance for yourself.

Answer 4

If you dont want to ruin your friendship than dont do friends with benefits. It will lead to jealousy, awkwardness, and one person getting hurt. Someone always gets hurt. You would had a better chance of ending it all well if you do just started dating rather than doing nonsense friends with benefits. But, ultimately, you need to decide what you want from him.