Fruitiers! Are thee wary of Celebrity Chefs?

Question

What happens say, when a TV Chefs come to your place of business, be it a Common Market Stall, a prominent Site in a Victorian Heated Establishment, or indeed in one of these New Hyper Shops, like SuperMarkets and such. . . .. and, you hold firm as Celebrity Puffter Chefs come along picking up your Wares, going "Hmmmmmm"

Or "Smells so fresh and GOOD!"

Or "Ooooooh, your Plums smell. .. divine!"

Does it anger thine Soul?

It does me, thats for sure. Gormless, boring Proles mincing about as if they are Artistes, and everything they do is an Expression of Wonderment.

Could we start a Revolution of sorts, and attack these Money Grubbing Benders and force them to keep their Spazzy Sky Telly Personalities in the bloody Kitchen?

Answer 1

Heston Blumenthal scares me kegs off.  

Checking a melon for that slightly 'waxy' feel is one thing, as is holding a cantaloupe to see if it has that warmth which signifies it is not just ripe, but perhaps about to become over-ripe and best put in a blender.  f***y Craddock would check the quality of the fruit by inserting a finger nail under the stall-holders eyelid, and poking till he came clean about how and where he got his stock, but:

Trotting into Lidl with 6 miles of teflon lined stainless steel tubing, a couple of trainloads of liquid Sodium and more Plutonium rods than you would see in a month of Sundays...  I asked him what was going on and he muttered something about a fast breeder reactor and the carbon content of my kiwi fruit.  So I did the obvious thing.  Waited until the whole contraption went critical, then told him we were sold out.  Was his face red!  Had to take the lot down the road to Tesco's, and serve him right.

Answer 2

Not them again *vomits*

Answer 3

Hmm - surprisingly similar to the one you asked under the title of "Should we bring Doom to the Celebrity Chef?" - but the ones I'd like to get shot of are those three blokes who are on the panel of four in "Eating with the Enemy" (BBC2 4.30pm Mon-Fri). They are allegedly experts. One is so far up his own jacksie (Jay Raynor) he can hardly speak, the little one with glasses (Toby Young) should stick to journalism, and the big fat one (Charles Campion) who works for the Standard is so overweight that he's got a cheek to criticise anybody's food - he looks like he's on the proverbial sea-food diet - if he sees food, etc etc etc ! - and as for the woman............ well, at least I've heard OF THE MEN........