Sorry if this is a little long. OK, my fiancee has a big family (2 sisters and 3 brothers) and one of my fiancee's brothers, his brothers wife and one of his sisters are treating my fiancee like complete ****. My fiancee was living with his brother and brothers wife. He got arrested for an unpaid traffic ticket (which he couldn't pay because his ex was a fat lazy ***** that didn't work and he had to support her completely while she gained an extra 150 lbs - my finacee lost what she put on). As soon as my fiancee got out of jail (I bailed him out and picked him up, drove him home), his brother FLIPPED out, told him he was a crackhead (because he's lost a lot of weight. he is NOT a crackhead!) and kicked him out of his house while his wife gleefully told his ex he was in jail. Because he had no where to live, he had to quit his job and move cities with me (we were living 3 hours apart until then). There is nowhere to live in my town (booming economy - to many jobs, no housing) so we had to move again to where the rest of his family is living. The economy and crime rate here SUCKS (we now live in the most dangerous city in Canada.) Since coming here, all we've done is put our selves in so much debt, we can't possibly get out of the grave we've dug for ourselves by living here. We were supposed to be married by now, and that looks like it won't happen for at least another year. Meanwhile, the rest of his family all lives with his mom. There are 5 working adults and one 12yr old child under her roof. I'm not currently working (for a variety of legit reasons - mostly there arent enough jobs and lack of quality daycare), so its my fiancee supporting me and my son. His sister gives him **** because he has a hard time paying the bills (as far as I know, she doesn't pay rent or help their mom with bills). She tells him that he owes everybody money and that he's hurting their mom by "fighting" with his brother that kicked him out. He doesn't even talk to his brother, so I'm not sure how its fighting. Meanwhile his brother goes around telling everyone (including my fiancees ex) what a "terrible" person he is. He told everyone that I am only using my fiancee for his money (what money? and he says this at Christmas just after I bailed him out of jail and supported him for a month after they kicked him out). Yes, he owes a couple people money, but not everybody like his sister tells him, and despite whatever she thinks, we have tried to figure out ways to pay back his little sister and our parents (the only people we owe money to) but when you can't afford to pay your bills, how are you supposed to pay others back? His sister also implies that he is a crackhead (again, because he has lost a lot of weight). To me, it seems like most of his problems with his family started shortly after we started going out, so I'm really starting to wonder now if they have something against me (I know his brother does, although I have no idea why). In the mean time, my parents know what kind of trouble we are in. They also know that if we lived out there, we wouldn't be having such big financial problems, because the economy is booming and we've both got really good jobs lined up there. They have helped us get a house (their wedding present to us). So now his sister is even madder at him because us moving back to where my fiancee was originally living would somehow really hurt their mom even more (his mom has never said anything to this affect to us). I try to stay out of everything and keep my mouth shut, because I don't really want to further alienate myself from his family, although I'm not really sure what I did wrong in the first place. And honestly, my fiancee does not pull the same stupid **** and go trash talk his brother, brothers wife and sister. He doesn't really say anything about it at all to anyone, so I really don't understand where all this hate over some really pretty petty little things is coming from. I know my fiancee has made a few mistakes (nothing big, he's not a criminal, he's not into drugs or alcohol - all he had was an unpaid traffic ticket!), but none of those mistakes had any effects on his brother, his brothers wife and his sister, but holy c**p do they condemn him for absolutely everything. And I've had it with the crackhead comments. They never started calling him that until I showed up, so I'm pretty sure they think I'm a crackhead and probably the one to get him into it (I am a skinny person too afterall). It makes me so sick and furious. I just don't understand what their problem is.
Now we really don't know what to do for our wedding. We wanted to elope, so we could avoid the family drama, but that would really hurt my parents a lot (especially after helping us out with the house). I also think that its "our day", so why invite his family members that consider us crackheads? Or should we just suck it up, be the bigger person here and invite his family members that tell everyone I'm just using my fiancee, keeps in contact with my fiancees ex so they can share all the dirt on us with her and insists that we're a bunch of drug addicts? My fiancee doesn't really know what we should do about it either, thats why I ask. Sorry this was so long and THANK YOU in advance!
Tags: