Frustrated with 2 1/2 year old daughters bedtime?

Question

My daughter has been going to bed at midnight somtimes later, My husband thinks its fine but I know kids normally go down at 8ish. She sleeps in till 9 or so which is nice on the weekends but I still feel it isnt right! My husband is very leiniant on her (since she is his princess) So he gives her sweets at night as well as his mom like koolaid, somtimes candy, I feel like I have no controll!

So I guess I have 2 questions in a question. sorry about that I just whether want input, or people who are in my shoes.

Also I am 38 weeks pregnant so I sleep on the recliner and she sleeps whether on the couch by me or with my husband, she refuses to sleep in her own room (mainly since hubby isnt forcing her to like I am trying)

Please help and no mean comments I already am overwhelmed about this ...

Answer 1

point #1:  "kids usually go to bed around 8"

HECK NO!!!!!!!!!!!

I go to bed at fricken 4 am in the summer, and I'm only 13.

point #2:

She's her own person, who can go to bed when she wants.  If she doesn't have to wake up in the morning, what makes your schedule right?

wow, if your going to be this uptight, you and your daughter are going to fight A LOT when she gets older.

And she'll be right.

Answer 2

You need to communicate with your husband and set rules that you both can follow.

Otherwise she will always be babied and eventually you will have an out of control teenager because her dad let her do whatever.

Start putting her to bed earlier and earlier and establish a bed time routine [ex. bath, movie, reading, having desert, brushing teeth]

Do it at the same time everyday and in the same order.

She will get it eventually.

Best of luck to you!! :]

Answer 3

Well I think you should just put your foot down, but dont cause your stress level to rise too much since its bad for the baby. Second of all, stop giving the kids candy and kool aid before bed. Sugar is the enemy here...

Answer 4

she SHOULD be going to bed at a normal time like around 8 or 9. Does she nap during the day? Try keeping her awake all day and putting her to bed around 8 or 9 and she will probably stay asleep a good 12 hours! Just inform your husband that if she goes to bed earlier, there will be more time there for adult time! ;-).

With the sweets, MY mother would always come home from work at 9:00 and give my girl a kinder surprise egg even if she was already in bed!!! I just told her, she can have it after breakfast. Also, don't keep koolaid in your house, and you wont have to worry about them giving it to her... Its not very healthy and LOADED with sugar. if they insist on her having juice, just tell them you want her to have fruit juice. You could also try putting up a schedule on your fridge with basic things like wakeup time, breakfast, lunch, dinner, and bedtime, and tell him that you want to try out the schedule.

good luck!

Answer 5

enforce bedtimes to 7:30 or earlier (its healthier for that age group). talk to ur hubby and discuss rules that can be agreeable on each sides. (like no sweets after 5 o clock)

if ur husband does not agree, then tell him that if he keeps giving her candy she will grow up unhealthy and bad teeth!! if all goes well then do the same with the on-coming baby. good luck!!

Answer 6

Your daughter needs to get to bed earlier!!!

How about waking her up at 7am to make her sleepy at night or get her to nap earlier so she will go to sleep at a decent hour.

Getting her to sleep in her own bed is very inportant!

My brother once had a nightmare when he was 8 and my mum and dad let him sleep in their room that night.

He ended up sleeping in their room for over a year!!!

If she keeps sleeping on the couch she will refuse to go to sleep in her own bed when she is older.

I think if you stop letting her have candy at night, that might help her get to bed earlier because candy is almost as bad as giving her coffee, she wont sleep!

Answer 7

My 3yr old goes to bed at 8pm and sleeps until 8am.  He also naps for 2-3 hours.  Now...I know that this is rare and I am enjoying every minute of his sleep.  My older 2 slept from 9pm to 7am.  Try turning the earlier bedtime into something rewarding for your hubby... if she goes to bed earlier, you and hubby will have more alone time (wink wink).  Now...I know that since you are about to pop (wink wink) probably sounds awful..maybe you should try this...  If she goes to bed earlier we can have some time to watch a few movies (suggest some man movies to peak his interest).  Good luck!!

Answer 8

Children are as different with their sleep needs as adults are.  Yes, many 2 year olds do go to sleep much earlier, but I've known a couple who are like yours!  It sounds like she's getting enough sleep for her body to be healthy and grow.

If this is really a battle you want to win, you'll need hubby's support, so talk to him first.  Maybe you can't "eat the whole elephant at once," so see what you can do together to take just one bite!

Answer 9

I use to go through this alot...For the sleeping part: When it hits 830pm, I take my kids into the room and we pray. I turn off the light except the bathroom light. So while i lay down they lay down also... My 2 year old sleeps on the bed with my husband and I and my 4 year old has her own bed. I just lay with them till they sleep and then I go out into the living room until im tired. You have to enforce this because if you dont she will be doing it all the time and will never learn...Bring her into HER room with you,Lay with her till she sleeps, and then go. As for your husband, you need to set the rules straight with him. My husband was like this. Felt bad, wanted them to be happy and do what they'd like to do....oh no no no! Got out of hand, I told him that he had to understand how hard it was and that even just telling the kids "no" or "time for bed" gets harder because of being so easy with them. I let him have it, I was not gonna put up with him spoiling the kids. I told him straight. If he wants them to do what they want then he can take care of them all by himself...It didn't even last a day...He started setting rules...Let your husband try watching your daughter for the night even day by himself and he will get the picture...Dads who are still with their wives/girlfriends are usually like this because they think that we will always be ok with it and do all the work...Nope! They help make it so help take care of it...RIGHT!!!

As for dad and mother in law giving sweets...You have to tell her!!! That is your daughter and you would like if they could respect you by setting some rules and following them... Of course kids love sweets but you cant be letting them have it all the time...Diabetes, Cavities, Obesity...Think about that!!! I dont allow my kids to eat sweets at night...They are only allowed one juice a day (unless we are at a party, parade, etc)...Then they can have 2 or 3...but i usually give them only water and milk...even with candy...Its either one lollipop, one gum, or one bag of skittles...But if they have a skittle or M&M's then they cant eat any candy the next day...My husbands family was lenient...But i told them I was not going to let that happen...Even with my family...Always letting my kids do whatever...but i stopped all of that...I told them it was either they follow MY rules or I stop bringing my kids over to their house...They do it cause they barely see the kids and stuff but We have to deal with it all day or night..and they dont listen to us because of all the great advantages they get from others...But you have to SET RULES!!! and set them TODAY!!!!

Answer 10

Aww, you dont deserve ANY mean comments!

Sounds like ur doing what any normal mom/wife would do....

If you WANT ur daughter to sleep in her bed, REPETITION is what will do it. Even after you get her to sleep in her own bed, you cant expect after 2-3 nights that she will always do so willingly. But if you stay consistent she WILL sleep in her bed willingly sooner than you think ;) If her midnight bedtime suits your life, I dont see it as a problem. Its Summer, your PG, and she is only 2 - so no need to stress these things mama!!

As for ur hubby, Im in no position to advise you on how to break the treatment of a Daddys Girl..... I got one of those here myself ;)

Your doin good - GOD BLESS

Answer 11

Well, the most important thing is how many hours you get. Also, an inconsistent sleep schedule is not healthy.  You sould probably start weening your daughter off late bedtimes by keeping her active in the day. Make your husband take her to the park or something... lol

Answer 12

I would talk to to your husband when she is sleeping or not around, and tell him you want to train or disciplin her different and you want to come to a better agreement. Tell your daughter she needs to sleep in her own bedroom like a big girl. Wake her up earlier a day and she will go to bed earlier. Also When she falls asleep then move her to her bedroom each night till she learns she needs to sleep in her room.

Answer 13

Children will not have a good sleep if they arent put down earlier.

You need to put your foot down. She is too young to be up at that time. My children who are 4 and 3, only stay up until that time when we have people over.

Otherwise during the week its 9pm, and weekends about 9:30-10

Answer 14

Talk to your husband about it. Sometimes we have to beat these things into their brains! :) Remind him that you will have a new baby soon, and things will be much easier if you dont have two kids piled on the couch with you! We had this same problem. My son slept in our bed, but we had to get him used to sleeping in his room before baby #2 came. It just wouldnt be fair if the little one couldnt sleep with us and the older one could! Then, once he understands, talk about how you two can work together to make it happen. Take shifts. One of you put her to bed, then after she's asleep, she will probably wake up for a few weeks, so then just take turns going in to reassure her. Also, it really helped us to make it seem SOO exciting that our son GOT to sleep in his room. Make it seem like a priveledge for being SO big! Sorry this is so long, but I feel for you girl! That recliner cant be too comfortable!

Answer 15

try talking to your husband and getting you guys to set an agreement of how to raise the children.

include :

bedtime

amount of sweets

where she sleeps

school

etc.

hopefully you guys will come to a mutual agreement and both be happy with the outcome :]

Answer 16

First you have to get hubby and mom to understand these are your children too and you are the one who is going to be spending most of your time with them so they need to help you set healthy BOUNDARIES for them NOW. OTHERWISE  overwhelmed is not going to be what you are going to be feeling when the new baby arrives. Second if the girl has a room of her own PUT HER IN IT! She may cry for a night or two that's okay and its normal. U just let her cry and don't coddle her or you will never get any control over her. Don't keep going in there to quiet her down either. Let her cry and leave her alone. Once she sees shes not going to get her way she will go to bed  with out problems. Be loving but FIRM. With the child and the adults as well Don't let them stand in the way of raising your child in a healthy environment  if you think she shouldn't have candy or sweets after 6 pm and should be in bed by 8 pm. put your foot down. After all ONLY YOU CAN CONTROL WHAT YOU DO AND HOW YOU DO IT.

Answer 17

This is a shame.

It seems as if your hubby and and your MILaw are over-ruling you decisions.

The first thing to do, would be to inform all that no sweet or sugary substances are to be given to your kid after 7pm.

If they continue, then step back.

Let them take charge of the child during the night. For all activities. Informing them that as the mother this is what you want for your child and you are not being respected in this regard.

Also...........

This is quite a heavy (no pun intended) time for you.

So maybe you can use this time to relax more. Informing your hubby and MIL that you need the assistance to look after the 2 1/2year old.

Answer 18

My Daughter is  4 1/2 now but i used to have the same problem. What worked for me was laying down the law to my man and as politely as possible letting his mother know. She did a great job raising her son an that you would like that same chance with your daughter and asking her to please back off and respect your wishes.

With your daughter I don't know you views on punishment but try the three time rule, which is tell her 3 times to go to bed if she doesn't take away one thing she really likes (toys fav movies etc...) and try again the next night If she follows you instructions she gets what ever u took back.

If not take another thing keep going till she gets it. Also keep her bedtime the same that way she knows what to expect.

Its best to nip this in the bud before the next baby comes...best of luck!!!!