Fun with similes. 10 Points for the funniest!?

Question

1. As fast as

2. As slow as

3. As lazy as

4. As talkative as

5. As shrewd as

6. Anger is like

7. Love is like a

8. Love that is not returned is like

9. That book is like

10. His hands are like

no cliches!

Answer 1

as fast as...a...headless peacock

as slow as...a head-ful peacock?

as lazy as me right now

as talkative as my ex girlfrend (she was a handful)

as shrewd as...a shrew!

anger is like...so, like, totally not, like, worth it

love is like a...my...headless ex girlfrend!

love that is not returned is like a one-way ticket to depression

that book is like....big

his hands are like...leather!!

sorry if it pained u in any way to read any of these :P

Answer 2

1. As fast as..... a cheetah on Rockstar

2. As slow as..... a potato

3. As lazy as..... a banana

4. As talkative as........... a monkey on drugs

5. As shrewd as ........ shrewd?

6. Anger is like........ finding that there are no cookies left

7. Love is like a......... little dog snuggling up to a stuffed animal

8. Love that is not returned is like........ a lonely book at the library, saying "read me! im alone!"

9. That book is like........... a boring sack of nothingness

10. His hands are like.......... seven year old marshmallows

sorry, theyre kinda weird, cuz so am i!

Answer 3

1...the lies pouring from a politician's mouth

2...the "president's" brain synapses

3...a robot on xanax

4...a fundy Xian minister on crank

5...karl rove with a favorite gerbil

6...a festering wombat

7...a red red nose

8...a fine teacher of detachment

9...a miracle of insight

10...the claws of a slithey tove

:))

Answer 4

1. As fast as....diarrhea with trainers on

2. As slow as...a sloths dump

3. As lazy as...Homer in a hammock

4. As talkative as...my wifes hairdresser

5. As shrewd as...loan sharks bank manager

6. Anger is like..."Ouch! What was that for?"

7. Love is like a...hemorrhoid only bigger

8. Love that is not returned is like...paying for a toilet stall just to f**t!

9. That book is like...George Bush...thick and boring

10. His hands are like...his feet but with longer toes.

Answer 5

as sorry as

Answer 6

1.As fast as the flash on speed and placed in a rave

2.As slow as a comatose turtle trapped in a block of ice

3.As lazy as that deadbeat dad down the street that doesn't pay child support and just sits on his *** all day eating doritos.

4.As talkative as a valley girl when asked about makeup and Pradda bags.

5.As shrewd as a slippery shrew spy.

6.Anger is like that time I got charged with felony assault.

7.Love is like a thousand fluffy yum-yums clogging your arteries and giving you an aneurysm of joy

8.Love that is not returned is like a recurring rash that doesn't really go away

9.That book is like so yesterday as if gag my with a spoon gross! You hear me Emily Dickeson!? You Cold Hearted *****!

10.His hands are like, totally trying to get to second base with that chick in a desperately pathetic sort of way.