Funniest horse story ^.^?

Question

What's the most funny thing that's ever happened to you while you were doing something 'horsey' lol

my story:

ok, i was mounting bareback and I decided to use a plastic chair, since it was the first thing I saw. Anyways, I got on the chair and started to push off, and all I heard was this huge cracking noise lol one of the legs of the chair snapped right off xD I fell flat on my face lol me and my friend couldn't stop laughing

Answer 1

I've posted this before, but its still good for a laugh. More of an animal story really and my apologies to all of you have seen this already...

A true story, believe it or not! :)

I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.

The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope.

The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it.

After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up -- 3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me.

I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.

I took a step towards it...it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and then received an education.

The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope.

That deer EXPLODED.

The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity.

A deer-- no chance.

That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined.

The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals.

A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.

I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere.

At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual.

Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have it suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand...kind of like a squeeze chute.

I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope back.

Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist.

Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head --almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.

The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective.

It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds.

I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now) tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the bejesus out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.

Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp.

I learned a long time ago that, when an animal -- like a horse --strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.

This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy.

I screamed and tried to turn and run.

The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head.

Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.

Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head.

I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.

So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope so that they can be somewhat equal to the Prey.

Answer 2

Last summer my trainer had this eventing camp at her property. I didn't have a horse then ( i do now), so one of my friends who has 8 or 9 horses brought 2 others to camp along with her main horse Leo. 1 horse for me, the other for another friend. I got this 20 or 30 something little liver chestnut morgan named Ben. We jumped in this random field that my trainer's brother had mowed. It was a pretty bad field, huge rocks hidden under the grass, holes, unlevel terrain. But it worked. Well anyways, on our 3rd day out there there were 3 of us riding in this huge circle in the field. now, my horse was old, he tripped quite a bit on the flat. As we were transitioning down from a canter to a trot, all the sudden my horse tripped. He went straight down on his knees and landed flat on his face. I wound up doing an emergency dismount, i half landed on my feet, but the propulsion from coming off and half trotting half falling horse took me to the ground. I wound up swinging around to my horse's chest and landing flat on my back. He just stood there staring at me while i lay there laughing for a few minutes.

another one: At my old barn, I used to ride this old ex-racehorse who wouldn't jump, no matter what, and he had this horrible canter. He also refused almost everything! My trainer was often on the phone with clients and the stable owner during my lessons. I was pretty independent with Salem (my horse), i knew what to do if he refused, etc. i'd just do the exercises she set up. Well one night i was riding in the indoor arena, which was probably one of the smallest indoors ever. It was also barely lit (that i dont know the reason for). But it was the darkest at the far end towards the pastures. So as usual my trainer was on the phone with a client, i was riding this small course and as were entering the darkest end of the arena, there was this oxer. We were approaching it almost perfectly, no hesitations. Just as we left the ground my horse planted his feet right in the middle of the oxer, i was up laying on my horses neck. Apparently he did not like having his feet caught in between the two fences, because he jumped back, scrambling to get out of this predicament up on his hind legs as i'm still clinging to his neck, only i'm hanging of the side of him now. Somehow he pulled his feet free and spun around and i wound up laying on back on the oxer. My trainer heard the commotion and turned around asking, "What happened?!" i explained it to her as i was getting back on, and laughing.

last but not least: One summer at my old barn where i had been training and working, i was taking my 2nd lesson of the day, on the same horse i explained above (the ex-racer). This was when i had just started jumping him and i didn't know he was a refuser. Well the whole lesson was me fighting him and trying to get him over that one fence, just once. My trainer was fed up with his refusing so she stood on the side he was diving out of the jump. As we were coming into the fence, he was starting to drift to the right to refuse, luckily my trainer was standing there. But that didn't stop him, he still wanted to refuse to the right, and run my trainer over. My trainer threw her arms up in the air and roared. My horse spun so fast i couldnt even grab on to anything, i lost my balance and ate some serious dirt.

oh the love of horses

=]

Answer 3

I was dismounting from a western saddle and my bra and top got caught on the horn. I'm sure I flashed the whole arena then, but they denied. The horse was pretty shocked that I had to jump to release myself. >_> Ripped my good bra.

Answer 4

Well, I had a hilarious dismounting experience...when I was ten, I got my first and only horse (he was 4), and all my nice tack, and was just havin' a ball...anyway, I used to wear those breeches with the drawstring closure, and my saddle had the irons with the peacock bands for a safety release...anyway, so after my lesson, I pulled into the center of the ring to dismount, but when I swung my legs over the saddle and slid down, I didn't touch the ground...I was trying to figure out what was going on when I realized that I was suspended with my feet six inches from the ground by my breeches: the drawstring had caught on the hook of the peacock band...my instructor had to literally come over, lift me up and unhook me, and then I had to walk my horse back to the crossties with a huge rip down the front of my breeches...I was just laughing the whole time though...

lol, thank goodness my horse was easy going enough not to walk off with me hanging off the side by my pants ^_^

Then, while me and some of the other kids were playing human hunters (you can get the idea...running around pretending we were horses on a course), I went to jump a crossrail, but my foot caught the edge and I did a faceplant in the dirt...I had sand pants all day, and the guy I liked was sitting there laughing the whole time...lol, then another time we had a human puissance contest (with the heavy kind of poles...stupid!), and it was between me and another girl...I went to make the jump, but fell over and rolled like five times before resting sprawled on the ground...good times, good times!

Oh yeah, and when I was younger, and didn't have a very strong arm, my instructor had me carry my crop upward to get a stronger swing, seeing as my horse otherwise didn't know I existed...anyway, so I was approaching a fence, and my horse overjumped it a bit, and in my enthusiastic two-point, my crop came up and smacked me in my face so that I had a big old red line all day...and then there's the time when I reached back to crop, but accidentally threw the crop behind my back, and smacked my trainer that was standing nearby...and THEN, there's the time where my trainer asked me to sum up all my strength in my crop (no, not overdoing it...I had hardly enough muscle to convince my horse that I was more than a fly on his back)...in my moment of glory, producing the hardest crop I'd ever attempted, I missed my horse and swung backward to give myself a smack in the back. I have horrible hand-eye coordination...I make a very lethal weapon when something is put in my hands...

ADD: Man, you guys have the best stories to tell! I'm LMAO, ROFL, etc... lol

Okay, I vote Eqquus best answer!!! I mean, if that moment only reached her top FIVE most embarrassing, then she totally deserves best answer! The image is just too funny!

Answer 5

My horse and I were at a show and we got last in the show jumping. My horse walked straight up to the judge and pooed all down his leg LMAO!!!! It was soooo funny! And then the horse trotted off high stepping. :)

Answer 6

haha this is quite funny we have it on videos

me and my friend were in a corral and i said on ym pony watch my magic around the world while my horse was walking, and all of a sudden my horse stopped when i was turning and i feel off landing on my back haha. I tried so hard to get balance with the saddle but it didnt work lol

Answer 7

that happened 2 me once but i was hopping on with a wooden horse(stool) and me and my friend were duobble up bare back and the wooden horse tipped undetneth the horse and i was hanging by 1 leg lol! my mum, dad, my friends mum and dad... every 1 couldnt stop laughing!

Answer 8

I really don't have a funny storry to tell sorry about that.

Answer 9

Eqquus that is about one of the funniest things I've ever heard!!!! LMFAO!!! I can just imagine it. LOL!!

Thanks bud, I needed a good laugh!!!

I've had a few instances when I used to board my horses where I had to pee so bad I'd go in the stall, but nothing that funny!!!!

Alrighty I'm back to answer this bad boy!! Hmm, I still have to say my most embarrassing moment was already mentioned in a question I answered a bit ago...

I was giving a lesson to one of my newer boarders and as we were walking out to the ring (she was already on horseback), i turned to say something to my daughter. The horse somehow stepped on my pants with his back foot, then spooked himself.. One of the nails in his shoe got caught on my pant leg and as he rushed forward, my pants ripped ALL the way to my butt and i flopped into a BIG pile of mushy mud and horse p**p!! FUN!! I was soooo embarrassed, and my daughter bursting out laughing at me didn't make me feel any better!! LOL , I laughed it off though and limped back to the house to change my pants and give the lesson.

**Edit**

Just remembered an even MORE embarrasing one!!

It was when I was in my early teens. I was at a friend of mines barn. She had two horses, one of which was a mare. The both of us were standing around in the pasture with the horses batting the breeze when I noticed her mare come right behind me. I looked back and didn't think anything of it. Then all of a sudden the mare turns around parks out and before I could hop outta the way quick enough, I get showered with pee!!!

Not only was that embarrassing as all h**l, but it was gross!!!! LOL!!

All that talk about pee brought back the old memories I tried to block out. LOL!

**Edit**

1crossmare-- I have heard that story before, but I'm glad you posted it, that story makes me laugh everytime I hear it!!! Lmao I can't believe you did that!

Answer 10

My first time riding a horse I thought it would be okay to canter down a hill. Big no-no I guess.

The horse fell, I went flying, and he landed..ON TOP OF ME.

The people thought my ribs were broken and called an ambulance. I said no, and went back to riding.

Answer 11

My funniest had to be with my new colt, right after he was born, took him and mom back to the stall for the night, I did not close the blinds and he saw his shadow on the stall wall, yep, you got it, a flying horse, all four in the air, and kicked me right into the stall wall, well more of a hit and knocked me into the wall, hit my right hand and wrist, broke my wrist, heard it pop.........

never say a horse fly till this day.....

he was so airborne, could not believe it....there I am sitting there crying in pain, and he tootles over to me and just lowers his head to me, like hey, get up and lets play super horse again, I can fly.

Answer 12

When i first started breaking my horse I was working with him in the round pin. We worked for quiet a while and then I finally got up on him and road for probably 20 minutes then my dad's dog came from no where and started barking and freaking out scaring my horse and causing him to go into a bucking fit. I became a bronco rider that day and it sure was the ride of a life. To make things better my dad got it all on tape because he was taping my breaking him so i could watch it later...what a fun memory.

Answer 13

For my first ride I was so anxious I mounted the horse backwards.

Answer 14

For my daughters ninth birthday she wanted a 'birthday ride'.  So we took out a dozen ponies and girls from the local stables where she had lessons and I had my horse in livery.  Everything was great until a mile out from home.  My daughter has electric jods and suddenly her horse had enough of this behaving itself in a long line and broke ranks.  She slipped off the side and was thrown into the gorse bushes and this was the cue for the rest of the horses to take off in all directions across the New Forest.  I chased after a few of them in one direction - rounded the corner to find whips, silks and other clothing items scattered along the track and hanging off bushes.  One girl fell in a gorse bush and as she got up out of it another pony would come haring round the corner and knock her back into it, rounding another corner I found the smallest rider who had been deposited on the ground but had not let go of the reins - her pony was running rings round her and tying her up in knots.  The ponies were scattered all over the nearest bit of forest.  After a lot of kerfuffle we managed to get all of them back and remounted except for one who had fled home.  I had to have that girl up with me and she took up the whole saddle so I had to ride home stood up in the stirrups.  As we went back down the hill to the stables a blooming cyclist decided to free wheel through the middle of us and was knocked off his bike which was then trampled.  I then had to take the riders back to the house to the mothers who were waiting with the kids that didnt ride - we arrived back with kids scratched, grazed, torn clothing, missing whips and hat silks, and covered in mud, and only to find that my husband had set light to the barbecue trying to get it to cook quicker so that we lost half of the food.

The kids, now 17plus still talk about that birthday ride.

And there must be hundreds of you out there who have forgotten to check the girth and mounted only to find yourself upside down under the horse with everyone laughing their heads off at you.

Equus - I will laugh about that story for many years to come

Absolutely the best!!  Please tell us more!

Answer 15

Mine is not as funny as any of yours, but it is: I put my breeches on backwards, so the butt part was at the front and the front was in the butt! I rode in a lesson like this and did not notice until my trainer said, "OMG you're pants are on backwards!" and laughed. That was funny! Then I put them on backwards on purpose to see if anyone noticed, sadly no one did!!

Oh, I just remembered another one: At our farm we had a Gator, the coolest thing to drive around by the way!! And I learned how to drive the Gator. Well my dad was doing some of the manly work that niether me, my mom, or another woman could do. His phone has a video camera and he decided to film me driving this Gator. My Jack russell was tied up to a post near the Gator and when I turned it on to back it up, he ran right into the Gator's path! I backed up at the urge of my dad saying, "Back up, I want you to back up!" nearly running over the dog, and causing my mom to have a angry fit and call us all stupid. My dad posted this video on Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53rgzevMQ...

A friend of mine who was actually working at the barn with us loved it so much that she sent it to practically everyone she knew!!

Answer 16

See My pony is VERY protective of me!

ANd where i board him I work on weekend, so i turned one horse out in the winter and then  had to go retrieve him from the field because his owner i older and she didnt wnat to go out in the freezing weather. SO I go and get him and he is in the same Pasture as my pony.

Well i go in calling the horse I need to get and my pony knows my voice. So he hears it and come trotting up to the gate and he nickers. I give him a treat and a pat and a hug and say ill come get you after im done the barn work. SO he follows me up to get this other horse and then i get the halter on the other horse and Mario just went Belistic.

He thought Reo was attacking me so he lunges at Reo and is trying to kick him and bite him and then he comes and stands infront of me and wouldnt let Reo com with me.

So as it ended p I had to bring Mario in first as there was no way i was gonna get out of that pasture. And then I had to go retrive Reo.

Lmao but I love Him<3

Answer 17

ok so it involved me and my friend...she's in the army so very "lawful" anyway we're riding along an old track when we see someone in a truck dumping stuff, probably about 300 metres away, so of course my friend gets all legal and goes, come on lets go stop him, so we kick our horses into gear and gallop up yelling the whole way that he should get his (....) truck out of here and stop dumping c**p....so we get up there and pull up and find hima nd his girlfriend in a not so socially acceptable position.....we almost died laughing on the wya home. they just stood there looking at us and told us in no nice terms to .... off

oh my lord Equus i just read yours......that was the funniest image ever......

poor ziggy

Equus you have to tell us the rest of your insane stories sometime

and yes the day i bought the greatest new bra and panties ever, wore them riding fell off and had them cut off in hospital later that day, by the hottest male nurse ever......

Answer 18

I was young, on my first job, Arabians and had to go to the bathroom so bad and didnt want to walk through the indoor through the barn to get to the bathrooms so, I decided to go into a stall and pee........Of course I had to pick the craziest mare. I thought to myself, shes gonna be fine, so I went to the corner, pulled down my pant and went about my business. I had my head down looking at the ground when all of a sudden I look up to see a pair of hooves coming right at my head, I dove into the opposite corner as she is attacking me and I am peeing all over the place. I hobble out of the stall and fall on the dirt in the arena with my pants at my ankles and pee everywhere........Well to top it off there is my boss standing there looking at me, laughing his butt off. I was so embarrassed. I changed and went back to work.

Answer 19

I was with a few boarders from my stables, we were all working, and on of them was like 'Have you ever peed in your box (stall)?', she had, a few of them had, it was so funny.

I was in a jump lesson with like all my boarder friends and I was riding the new schoolie (who totally sucks at jumping), so my instructor decided that we'd jump 70cm. He catleapt it so huge, I feel off (kinda bailed off sideways mid air because it was either that or get slammed and fall off on the landing), I was lying their and we were all in hysterics, then my instructor was like 'While you're down there can you fix the jump'.

My friend was riding and her horse spooked and ran and she hit a pole and got wiped off (she was OK) and we (and the instructor/stable owner) were literally rolling around on the sand in hysterics.

During a show lesson one of the little boarders was riding a pony (about 11-12hh) and she was getting dragged and having trouble with her (she handles the pony quite well), the instructor/stable owner (the one from above story), went to get on the pony, then had to take off the pony pad, and was riding her around. All us workers/boarders was in hysterics, it's the funniest thing I've EVER seen.

Answer 20

i was riding my horse and i dropped my crop so i got off to get it and i slipped on horse poo and fell into it.

Lucky my face missed i but all my clothes were covered in horse poo.

ARGGGGHHHHH

Answer 21

Well my friend was riding this horse. Coolio. She was training him and Coolio farted really loud and he scared himself. He took off at a gallop around the ring. Then my friend fell off laughing. It was hillarious

Answer 22

Eqquus!!  Talk about peeing....That was soooo funny & I laughed so hard I almost peed!

Anyway, let's see.  Over the years, there have been many.

Ummmm!

O.k. when our oldest son was 4, our last mare had our last foal which was 1 month old at the time of this story.  We were in the corral & the foal was very interested in our son.  I was trying to take pictures, so I am standing back & when they moved, so did I.  I ended up backing up & fell backwards into the water tank.  My son, the foal & even the mare were just standing there looking at me like they were all trying their best not to laugh.

My son said, "Are you o.k. mom?"  I said, "I'm fine hun but I really feel dumb."  To which my son replied, "Ya, you look dumb too."

The mare walked over, gave a snort of total disgust & walked away.  The foal just stood & stared.  I had the feeling he was agreeing with my son.

**EDIT**

Oh yeah!  definitely had a pants issue for sure.  We were at a jackpot team roping,out of town. I think I was like 17.  I went to get on my horse not 10 minutes after we got there. I was going to warm up both of my horses, so I had one in a halter with the lead in my hand.  I put my foot in the stirrup, grab the horn & it happened, my wranglers split right down the seam on my butt.  Our clothes were at the hotel so I had nothing to change into.  If I left I would not have the chance to warm up my horses, sign up & might miss my turn, so I had my dad sign me up & basically sat on my horses the entire day.  When I had to potty, I rode my horse out of the arena, tied him to the trailer & hurried to the bathroom.  Dad was nice enough to bring me some lunch at the break while I sat in the pickup though.

Answer 23

I was jumping on my horse bareback in the pasture and I flew right over the top and landed on my back; it hurt REALLY badly.  But it's kinda funny to think about now.

Answer 24

I was trying to catch my horse in the field and he was being a real pain when he just stopped and let me catch him. but the second i clipped on the lead rope he galloped away with me still holding on!!!

Answer 25

I played polo in college, and we went to exercise the ponies one day, and as I went to get on the horse my jeans ripped right up the inside seam.  You could see my underwear and everything, and of course there were like a dozen other people there who heard the "riiiiiiiiiiiip" and turned to look.

It wasn't funny at the time because I was SO embarrassed but now it's funny.  As long as it doesn't happen again!

EDIT:  Holy c**p eqquus, that's HILARIOUS!!!