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Funniest joke you ever heard?

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tell your most favorite,thanks.

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  1. A scientific survey in 2002 attempted to find the funniest joke in the world. Thousands of people from dozens of countries voted on thousands of jokes. Each country had a different favorite. Overall, the number one and number two funniest jokes in the world, based on votes, are:

    The funniest joke in the world:

    A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.

    The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

    The operator, in a calm, soothing voice, says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”

    There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “Okay, now what?”

    The Second Funniest Joke ever:

    Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson goes on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.

    ‘Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

    I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes,” replies Watson.

    “And what do you deduce from that?”

    Watson ponders for a minute.

    “Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.

    “Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?”

    Holmes is silent for a moment. ‘Watson, you idiot!” he says. “Someone has stolen our tent!”


  2. John McCain as president

  3. why did the chicken cross the road, to get to the other side haha

  4. why did john kerry get a nipple peircing?

    because bush got a d**k chainy!

  5. Barack Obama as President

  6. OBIE IS A CLOSET MUSLIM

  7. barack obama as president.

  8. barak obama as president

  9. barak obama as president!


  10. so why was 6 afraid of 7? coz 7 ate 9 hahhahahhaaaaaaaaaaaa

  11. Here's a joke: you

    hahahaahahahahahahahahaahahahahaha I'm sooooo funny

  12. DON'T NO HEARD SO MANY

  13. The toothfairie teaches children a lesson.......YOU CAN SELL PARTS OF YOUR BODY FOR MONEY!!!!!

  14. What kind of chees is not yours?

    NACHO CHEESE!! hahahahha
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