Funniest joke you know?

Question

Tell me a joke please :)

Answer 1

What did the Mexican fire chief name his two new sons?

Jose and Hose B.

(say it out loud!)

Answer 2

Minnie and Micky are getting a divorce and they go to court

JUDGE : so micky you want to divorce minnie because she is buckteeth??

MICKY: nooo, i didn't say she was buckteeth i said she was f***ing goofy.

Haha get it??

Answer 3

whats the biggest drawback in the circus?

an elephants f******n!!!!!

p.s. soupkitt liked your jokes ...... especially the added punchline ... and then the fight started,

Answer 4

I hear they have brought out a new Barbie doll. Divorced Barbie ............. It comes with all Ken's stuff

Answer 5

ha what is the position to make the ugliest baby?

.

.

.

.

.ask your mom.

ha its mean but someone said it and it made me laugh

Answer 6

What kind of cheese isn't yours?

Nacho cheese!

Haha I know it's lame but it cracks me up.

Answer 7

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.

I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me." and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, "You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too."

And then the fight started.....

*******

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend.

I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

"My God!" says my wife, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

And then the fight started.....

*******

I rear-ended a car this morning.

So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.

You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?

Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!!!"

So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?"

And then the fight started......

Answer 8

pregnant woman gives birth to twins, 1boy and 1girl. she slips into a coma just when shes about to name them. she awakes 2 hours later. the doctor says, because u were in a coma your brother named your newborns. she replies, oh no what did he call the girl? . the doctor says 'denice' she says thats nice. okay what about the boy 'dnephew'

(:

Answer 9

1.what does a hillblilly call a deer with no eyes.

NO I' DEER.

2.Child:Mommy, Mommy! What's a werewolf?

Mom:Shut up and comb your face!

3.Child:Mommy, Mommy! Grandpa's going out!

Mom:Well throw some more gasoline on him then.

4.Child:Why is Daddy zigzagging in the yard?

Mom:Shut up and shoot again!

5.Doctor, Doctor I think I need glasses

You certainly do, Sir, this is a fish and chip shop!

6.Doctor, doctor my sister here keeps thinking she's invisible!

What sister?

7.Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm God

When did this start?

Well first I created the sun, then the earth...

Answer 10

jack and jill went up the hill to spoke a little leaf jack got high and opened his fly and jill said weres the beff.

mary mary quite contrary how does your garden grow you silly t**t i live in a flat so how the dam do i now.

jack and jill went up the hill to have abit of fun silly jill forgot her pill and now they have a son