Funny blonde jokes!!

Question

I have 2 blonde jokes:

1. So there's 3 construction workers working on a skyscraper. One

brunette, one red-head, and a blonde. At lunch, the brunette opens his

lunchbox and there's a peanutbutter and jelly sandwich. He says, "Aww man, ANOTHER peanut butter and jelly sandwich? I get them everyday! If I get one more PB&J I'm going to jump off this building!" Then the

red-head opens his lunchbox and there's a peanutbutter and jelly

sandwich. He says, "Aww man, ANOTHER peanut butter and jelly sandwich? I am so sick of those! Next time, I'm jumping off this building!" Then

the blonde opens his lunchbox and there's a peanutbutter and jelly

sandwich. He says, "Aww man, ANOTHER peanut butter and jelly sandwich? Will I ever get something else?! One more and I'm jumping too."

The next day each of them open their lunches to discover PB&j's,

so they jump off the building and die.

At their funeral the brunette's wife cries and says, "Why did I

pack him peanutbutter and jelly sandwiches, why!?" The red-head wife

cries and says, "Why didn't I pack him something else, WHY!?!?" Then the blonde's wife says, "Don't look at me, he made his own lunch."

2. One day a blonde and brunette were watching a soap opera on television. On the show, there was a girl standing on a bridge. The brunette turned to the blonde and said, "I bet you $5 that she's going to jump off that bridge." The blonde agreed to the bet. The girl in the show jumped off the bridge, and the blonde handed the brunette the $5. Then the brunette felt guilty and said, "This is a re-run I saw, I knew she was going to jump." Then the blonde replied, "I saw it before too, but I didn't think the girl would be stupid enough to do it again!"

Tell me some funny jokes (doesn't have to be blonde jokes) And mark my question as interesting if you liked them! =]

Answer 1

ive heard the first one and i love itt..i like the 2nd one aswellllll,..

Sally goes to work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned his employee, walks over to her and asks sympathetically, "What's the matter?" The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call that my mother had passed away."

The boss, feeling very sorry at this point suggests to the young girl, "Why don't you go home for the day...we aren't terribly busy. Just take

the day off and go relax."

Sally very calmly states, "No I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind busy and I have the best chance of doing that here."

The boss agrees and allows her to work as usual. "If you need anything just let me know" says the boss.

A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on Sally. He looks out his office and sees her crying hysterically.

He rushes over an asks, "What's the matter now? Are you going to be ok?"

Sally breaks down in tears. "I just received a horrible call from my sister. She said that her mom died too!!"

A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer.

"Can you tell me how much you charge?", said the client.

"Of course", the lawyer replied, "I charge $200 to answer three questions!"

"Well that's a bit steep, isn't it?"

"Yes it is", said the lawyer, "And what's your third question?"

Once there were 3 people in an airplane, one took a bite out of

an apple. She thought it was too sweet so she threw it out of

the plane. The second person took a bite out of a lemon and she

thought it was too sour so, she threw it out of the plane. Then

the last person took a bite out of a grenade and he thought it

was too crunchy so, he threw it out of the plane. Then they

landed and decided to go for a walk. They first passed a little

girl who was crying and they asked, "little girl, little girl,

why are you crying?" and the little girl said, "an apple came

down and killed my new kitty". Next they passed a little boy

who

was also crying. And they again asked, "little boy, little boy,

why are you crying?" and the little boy said, "a lemon came

down

and killed my new puppy." Then they passed a blonde sitting on

the side walk laughing her butt off. They asked, "why are you

laughing so hard?" and the blonde said, "I farted and the

building behind me blew up!!"

A plane is on its way to Detroit when a blonde woman in economy class gets up and moves into an open seat in the first class section.

The flight attendant watches her do this, and politely informs the woman that she must sit in economy class because that's the type of ticket she paid for.

The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Detroit and I'm staying right here."

After repeated attempts and no success at convincing the woman to move, the flight attendant goes into the cockpit and informs the pilot and co-piolet that there's a blonde bimbo sitting in first class who refuses to go back to her proper seat. The co-pilot goes back to the woman and explains why she needs to move, but once again the woman replies by saying, "I'm blonde, I'm beatiful, I'm going to Detroit and I'm staying right here."

The co-pilot returns to the cockpit and suggests that perhaps they should have the arrival gate call the police and have the woman arrested when they land. The pilot says, "You say she's blonde? I'll handle this. I'm married to a blonde. I speak blonde." He goes back to the woman and whispers quietly in her ear, and she says, "Oh, I'm sorry," then quickly moves back to her seat in economy class.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and ask him what he said to get her to move back to economy without causing any fuss.

"I told her first class isn't going to Detroit."

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all

these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid,

so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are

smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is

going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.

The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets

down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and

smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living

room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.

He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at

the same time.

He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks

what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him

that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by

painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket

over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the

directions on the paint can and they said....

FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.

Answer 2

i heard the first but its still good second is really funny.

Why did the blondes want to sit in the first row of the theater? Because they wanted to see the movie first.

or

One day 1 brunette and 5 blondes were hanging off a branch. A man came by and said he could save only 5 people. The brunette said she would let go and fall to death because she was tired of hearing the blondes say 'like, totally." Before the brunette jumped off, all of the blondes said "claps for the brunette." *clap* *clap* *clap*

'

boom!!!!!!!

or

One day a blonde went to get her hair done. When she got there, the lady said she would have to take her headphones off. The blonde refused to do so and said she would die if she took them off. The hairdresser finally wrestled the headphones off of the blonde and went to work on her hair. When she finished, the blonde was dead. She quickly called the cops to come investigate. They found the tape(that was still playing) and it was saying "Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out.

or

One day a blonde was by herself in the pool. When her husband came home, she was in the pool, dead. Nobody murdered her so how did she die?

scratch and sniff sticker at bottom of pool

or

There was a brunette, a red head, and a blonde stuck on a cliff and they could only get down by sliding down, saying something and then landing in a pile of it. The red head goes first, says gold and lands in a pile of gold. Then the brunette goes, says silver and lands in a pile of silver. Finally the blonde goes and on her way down goes weeeeeeeeee!

or

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head were stuck on an island that was 100 miles to civilization. The red head decides to try and swim there, swims 40 miles and drowns. The brunette decides to try to swim there, swims 60 miles and drowns. Then the blonde tries. She swims 50 miles, gets tired and swims back.

or

A blonde came up to you and asked " What does idk mean?" You say " I don't know". The blonde then says " Nobody knows!"

or

A blonde and her two friends, a brunette, and a red head were stuck on an island when suddenly, a genie appears. He says he will grant each girl one wish. The red head goes first and wishes she was back home. Poof, she's home! The brunette goes next and wishes she was home. Poof, she's home! Then the blonde goes and says " I sure am lonely. I wish my friends were here." Poof, her friends were there!

or

A blonde, a red head, and a brunette are on a cliff and the only way to get down is to jump off, say something and you'll turn into it. The brunette jumps off, says eagle, and turns into an eagle. The red head jumps off, says hawk, and turns into a hawk. The blonde is running toward the edge, trips over a stick, falls off and says "Oh poo."

or

Three men were on a plane and one had an apple, one had a pear, and one had a bomb. The plane started to have problems because it was carrying too much stuff so they tossed out some stuff including the bomb, the apple, and the peach. After this, a guy was driving around and saw a little boy crying. He stopped the car and asked the little boy why he was crying. The little boy said that a pear fell out of the sky, hit his puppy, and killed it.The man gave him a new puppy and went on driving. Next he came to a little girl who was crying. He stopped and asked why she was crying. She said that an apple fell out of the sky, hit her kitten on the head, and killed it. The man gave her a new kitten and went on driving. He then came to a blonde who was laughing hysterically and asked what was so funny. She said that she farted and blew up a building.

or

A blonde walks into a store and asks the saleslady if she can buy a tv and the saleslady says that she doesn't sell to blondes. The blonde decides to put on a red wig and try to buy it again but the saleslady say she knows it's the blonde and won't sell it to her. The blonde then tries a brunette wig but the saleslady says she knows it is her and won't sell it to her. Finally the blonde asks the saleslady why she won't sell a blonde a tv and the she says "Because that is a toaster."

Answer 3

hahahahaha they made me laugh,my family are watching tv they all looked at me and said What? , i said i'll tell you tomorrow (:

Answer 4

LMAO

i heard the first one b4

but i like the second one the best,,,lol

Answer 5

Two teachers went to a trip with 20 students, 10/each.Both were screaming,shouting!. All of the sudden one group of kids were silent. So she asked to the other teacher ," What did you do to make them quiet? I have tried everything but they are still missbehaving". The  teacher replied "Isend them to recess".