Joke 1:
Every day, a hen owned by a farmer would lay an egg in his garden, which was used in his daily breakfast. One day, he looked into his garden, only to find that the hen had laid her egg in the neighbors garden.
He was about to go next door when he saw the neighbor rushed out of the house to pick the egg. The farmer ran up to the neighbor and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen. The Neighbor disagreed because the egg was laid on his property.
They argued for awhile until finally the farmer said, "This is how we normally solve disputes by the following method."
"I kick you in the nuts and time how long it takes you to get back up, then you kick me in the nuts and time how long it takes for me to get up, whoever gets up quicker wins the egg."
The neighbor thought for a moment and noticed that the farmer was only wearing a pair of those funny "flip flops", then looked at his own feet which boasted a shiny new pair of alligator cowboy boots... with pointed toes no less. He quickly agreed to resolve the dispute "Farmer Style."
The Farmer took a few steps back and kicked the neighbor in the balls as hard as he could. The neighbor fell to the ground clutching himself and howeled in agony for 30 minutes.
Eventually, the neighbor stood up and said, "Now it's my turn to kick you."
The farmer replied, "Nah that's ok, keep the egg."
Joke 2:
My boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local Sign shop and bought a small sign that read, "I'm the Boss". He then taped it to his office door.
Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said. "Your wife called, she wants her sign back!"
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