A turkey was chatting with a bull.
'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey,
'but I haven't got the energy.
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull.
They're packed with nutrients.
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough
strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of
the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull **** might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there...
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird
froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize
how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow
dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who s***s on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of **** is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep ****, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
Why it's important to understand English!
I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to
exchange, so I went to
the currency exchange window at the local bank.
Short line. Just one lady in front of me. . .an
Asian lady who was
trying to exchange yen for dollars and she was a
little irritated ....
She asked the teller, 'Why it change?? Yesterday, I
get two hunat
dolla fo yen. Today I get hunat eighty?? Why it
change?'
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said,
'Fluctuations'.
The Asian lady says, 'Fluc you white people, too!'
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