-I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
-You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and will be used against you.
-I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be w/out sponges?
-Nothing is foolproof to a talented fool.
-Depression is just anger without enthusiasm.
-When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane in the road of life.
-A conclusion is something you get when you get tired of thinking.
-When you do something amazing, no-one is looking. When you make a fool of yourself, the whole world is looking.
-Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
-The problem with the gene pool is there's no lifeguard.
-The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up.
-Those who say they "sleep like a baby" generally don't have one.
-A clear conscience is usually a sign of a bad memory.
-Get a new car for your spouse- it'll be a great trade!
-Plan to be spontaneous- tomorrow.
-You ask- "Is love marriage better than arranged marriage?"
First tell me, is suicide better or getting murdered?
-They always say there are plenty of fish in the ocean. But who wants to date a fish?
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