GF's ex is emailing her. He's a d**k and I hate him, what should I do?

Question

From time to time my gf has me check her email for her. I noticed that her ex-fiance is emailing her fairly regularly. She seldom responds, and her responses are polite and curt (curiously never mentioning me though...hmm), but his tone is a little too friendly if you know what I mean. Nothing explicit, just "Wow, I've really got my **** together now, you've really helped me to be a better person" type of crapola. I tried to be a good person for a while and forget I ever saw them, but my girlfriend just went off to school 2 hours away and I only see her on the weekends now. I'm feeling a little vulnerable I guess and I just kind of want her to stop talking to him, but I don't feel like its any of my business to tell her this. I feel like he's being very disrespectful to me by continually bringing stuff up from their life together in the past, but I'm not sure if its just me freaking out or if I actually have a right to feel this way. Someone please help, I need some advise.

Answer 1

As she knows you read her e-mail from time to time, then she has know that you have seen his e-mails (you are not peaking around just to snoop because you don't trust her, it is with her knowledge and permission), so bringing up the topic and how uncomfortable it makes you feel and discussing it would be ok, but you should not ask her stop - let her decide how she wants to handle the situation after knowing how it makes you feel.

If she is being polite but curt, she may just feel sorry for him and doesn't cut off all contact because she doesn't want to feel any responsibility for him going back to not having his **** together and just hopes he will eventually move on with his life.  Again, if she feels sorry for him and he is trying to get his life together, her not mentioning you is her way of not rubbing salt in an open wound by touting how happy she is with her new boyfriend when her ex's life ****.

Answer 2

tell her what you feel about him emailing her...and she should tell him that you guys are together...explain to her how you feel about the situation...and maybe ask her if she still has feelings for her ex...good luck babe!!! :]

Answer 3

Tell her you want to talk to her and bring up the subject with calmness. (don't go crazily mad or whatever cause it's gonna make her feel uncomfortable and not want to answer you and it may result in an argument) Tell her how you're feeling about the situation and tell her how she would feel if you were the one talking to your ex. That way, she'll have a better understanding of your feelings. And if she has you reading her email to her, it means she has nothing to hide from you. Even if her ex IS interested, she's not interested at all. As for the only seeing on weekends thing, try to keep calm. It happened to me too and i understand you're not taking it well, but thinking about it too much will just hurt your relationship and not make things any better. There has to be trust, especially now, if you want this relationship to work.