GIRLS ONLY: Why do you expect so much from a guy, when you aren't that great yourself?

Question

My question is why do most women only look for guys that are great in every way when they themselves aren't that great. How can women expect a guy that is perfect when they can't be perfect in return?

I know that women want a guy that has a good job (makes the money), helps clean around, helps with the laundry, makes meals sometimes, takes the trash out, etc...So what I'm also wondering is what do you expect to give in return (that we aren't giving)?

My problem: My dad has a girlfriend (mom passed away long ago) and they are getting pretty serious. Right off the bat I can say that as a person, he's 10 times better than she is (even he knows this). She says that she wants a guy that is nice, interesting, respectful, a gentleman, etc, which is why she likes him - but she herself is nothing great. She also expects my dad to pay for everything (she doesn't work), take out the trash, help her out with the cleaning, laundry, etc. So I'm going absolutely nuts!!! I keep thinking of what she is giving my dad in return, that he himself isn't giving.

Before my mom passed away, my dad was the one making the money (10am-4pm as a dentist), and she was the one taking care of me, my brother and the house. It was fair, all the workload was split 50/50. My mom wouldn't even let him cook because she felt that it was unfair for him to have do so, and my dad wouldn't let my mom take a part time job because he didn't like her having to work, especially since we didn't need the extra income.

Now when I notice my dads girl friend, all she does is do what she wants; shop, watch tv (and buys new tvs), talk on the phone, etc, while my dad does ALL of the work (house and job). My dad says he doesn't mind, but I DO! Oh yeah and guess what, she's also a feminist that believes that women have to work harder than men. Ain't that a joke.

Anyway, sorry about the bashing. But I'm wondering, if women expect so much, why don't you expect to give the same in return?

Answer 1

That is a really great question and you have a valid point.  Your mom sounds like a wonderful woman.  I'm sorry for your loss.  Your dad also seems like a really great man, and his girlfriend is lucky to have someone so giving and nuturing!  But its likely that after time he will tire of doing all of the work and getting no appreciation or help in return.  Do your part around the house.  Help your dad as much as you can so he doesn't have so much to do.  I'm sure it would make him happy to see that you care.

Answer 2

cuz they are insecure and need the man to make up for their weaknesses.  basically.  lol

Answer 3

i was actually just thinking about that.

it kinda made me mad at myself.

sometimes girls are just insecure.

personally...i just feel like i'm not capable of doing much.

i'm sure i could if i really tried though...

i'm only 16 right now...well 17 in a week...so atleast i don't have to worry about being a wife yet

hopefully i improve before i get married.

sorry this girls so lazy!!! i would atleast attempt to do stuff...even if i couldn't do it very well lol

Answer 4

I have no clue how old you are but these are very good questions. I am only 26 years old. I have 3 kids 2 boys and a girl. I am a stay at home mom. My fiance works a full time job while I stay at home take care of the kids and everything in the house. I think some women lose sight of what they should be doing for their man or the family they got in to. I think she doesn't know what she has (your dad) being all that he does. she needs a clue.  

Answer 5

sounds like a problem lol only reason ur dad prolly stays with her is she is probably good in bed haha but yeah she sounds dumb men and woman sould be equal and your mom sounds great sorry you lost her.

Answer 6

That's a toughie.

Wow. You seem to be under some stress. I'm sorry about your mom. She sounds wonderful :)  Your dad's gf sounds like a *****. How dare she say that! Woman and Men are equal, in every way. How dare she let that poor man deal with everything while she off in LaLa Land.

I feel sorry for you. I really think this is a bad idea. I believe she will leave your father after they get married (if they ever do). If they do, then you need to help your dad out all you can. Show him that you're there for him and you'll help out with the house. He sounds like a wonderful man. I wish your family all the luck in the world.

If you need anyone to talk to we're all here for you..or at least I am :]

Answer 7

Each situation is very unique in relationships. Generally women are very good at knowing what they want from a man and they also know when they don't have what they want. Some women have been through different experiences that have taught them to respond to men in certain ways to get what they want.  Some women have given everthing that they had to a man and have gotten nothing in return as far as attention and appreciation so some women learn that it is better to let a man do all of the work to earn your "hot lovin" so that she won't feel like she is giving away her efforts and hard work only to be ignored, unappreciated, and forced to accept little in return.  

I think that the efforts of each person should be appreciated and recognized by performing an action that reflects and proves your appreciation for one another. If a partner does not have a problem with the way that the other is contributing or not contributing may indicate that they accept the way things are.  It may not be logical to someone on the outside looking in, but If the two people are content with the way that things are going then who should interfere?

Answer 8

Your dad just happens to have a lazy a/s/s girlfriend. Not all women are like that, so your general description is close to offensive. I'm only 18, but for me, I expect a lot because I do a lot. I go to school, play sports, and work, so I would want a guy that's equally responsible and has his head on straight. I'm not saying that he has to do stuff for me, but we should take turns paying for stuff, etc. I don't like guys doing everything for me because it makes me feel helpless, so I guess it really depends on the girl and what she brings to the table. It just sucks, because a lot of girls are like your dad's gf, too lazy for her own good, and yet argues blindly for women's rights when she has nothing to contribute to mankind (or in this case womankind) in general.

Answer 9

Not ALL Women are like that honey...Most are not...as far as your dad goes he is a Grown Man that makes his own decisions....if he is Happy, who are you to try to run His Life...back off and live your own life.~~Aloha~~Michelle~~

Answer 10

not all girls are like that.

Answer 11

There are many different women out there and this certainly doesn't fit the description for all of them.

That specific situation with your dad and his girlfriend does not sound good at all. If she was my girlfriend, I would have left her.

My husband and I both work, cook, and clean. We share the load for everything. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I expect nothing more than his love. I could care less if he had a job.

Answer 12

not all women are like her. she really doesn't appreciate him and she doesn't realize that you are a family. your dad probably is still with her because he doesn't want to be alone. help him realize that there is better out there.

Answer 13

Ouch, haha.

I know what you mean. But like in your examples, there are 2 types of women; those like your mom and those like the girlfriend. When I think of a normal relationship I see a woman like your mother, a caretaker who cleans and takes care of the kids, or a wife that has a job and helps out with bringing home some bread. That girlfriend must have been brought up a little on the spoiled side or something, as I know I wouldn't feel right to not bring my share to the table. Not all women are like that. :)