(GOT JOKES?) do you know funny jokes?

Question

the funniest jokes win.

Answer 1

So this Jewish kid goes up to his dad and says "Dad, I need $40."  The dad says "$30?  What do you need $20 for?"

Answer 2

what has 200 teeth and holds back a monster ?

my zipper.

Answer 3

A soldier got marriied .

But on first nite , wife's having period .

He telegrams to HQ : Red Alert on front , extend leave .

Reply from HQ        : Attack from back and *** soon........!!!!!

Answer 4

A blonde and her blonde friend were outside stargazing. Then the first blonde thought of something. She asked her friend, "Which do you think is closer? Las Vegas, or the moon?" The friend snorted, rolled her eyes, and said, "The moon of course! You can't see Las Vegas!"

Answer 5

What did the farmer say when he saw the brown chicken and the brown cow making out in the barn?

Brownchicken-browncow (to the tun of "bow-chicka-bow-wow"

Answer 6

there's a plane that is going to crash and the pilot tells everyone to throw off one thing from the plane so (that they would be lighter).  A priest throws off the bible, a farmer throws of his rake, and a soldier throws off a bomb. The plane safely landed.

When they landed, the priest saw a kid that looked all depressed. He asks the kid, "Why so sad?" and the kid says, "Cuz a bible hit me on the head!" and without saying anything, the priest walked away.

As the farmer was walking home, he also saw a sad kid. He asks the kid, "Why the long face?" The kid says, "Cuz a rake hit me on the head!" Without saying anything, the farmer just walks away.

Finally, the soldier sees a kid laughing and he asks the kid, "Why are you laughing?" The kids says, "Because i farted and my house exploded!"