GUYS! (And girls) How important is s*x in a relationship?

Question

I'm 18 years old and my last relationship ended because my boyfriend wanted to "take it to the next level". I didn't want to go that next step, and as far as s*x goes, I don't want to have it until after I get married. It's not really a religious thing or anything, I just feel that it's important for me to save it for that "one" person... it's more meaningful to me that way.

Anyway, I just wanted to know how important s*x is in a relationship? After losing a relationship over it (which was dumb!) I want to know if it's unrealistic to expect a guy to wait till you're ready. Can you have a relationship without s*x? Is it common? Are there guys out there who don't mind waiting?

I'm just worried that by saving myself, I won't ever find the "one"...

Answer 1

s*x should not be a high priority on your list of things to find in the right guy. s*x and intimacy are two different things and you want to have intimacy with "the one", s*x is much more casual and has very little to do with love and more to do with pure lust. I'm glad your saving yourself for the right guy (and you will find him someday, don't worry, it just might take a while), you will be proud that you didn't give into the temptation of some other guy just for s*x.

Answer 2

If the person you are with cannot respect the fact that you want to wait, then he won't be "the one". When you find someone who accepts you for who and what you are, he won't try to change you or your beliefs. That is a good why to know that you have found the right person.

s*x is a very important part of a relationship, but more important is respect, trust and honesty. Without those a relationship cannot thrive. Even the best s*x in the world won't make a bad relationship good. Stick to your beliefs and you will find the perfect mate in time.

Answer 3

all ill say about this guy is that he didnt care much for the relationship if his dumped you because of your decision,sometimes younger people can be like that..as for my experience s*x is an important factor but not necessarily the act but the intimacy,the sharing,the love lust,wanting, you know? And just to confuse you even more ill share with you a quote( dont ask me where it came from but ;' women need to feel loved to have s*x, yet men need to have s*x to feel loved. As you get older i hope you not only grow  to know yourself but men too.Alot of my closest friends are males and it gives you an amazing insight to how they can work and function,trust me their not all like your ex mate.xxxx Thier just as confused as us xx

Answer 4

You are doin what is right for you at this point in life.There are guys that will respect that,and 10 times as many that will try to convince you otherwise.When it's right 4 you it will be right and no relationship will ever be built or destroyed on s*x as long as both feel the same way.On your side,if he left for you not givin in,he probably woulda left for other reasons later or after as well.There will come a time in your life when this won't even be a problem,but your not there yet.Once it's gone it's gone and you can't go back.Waite till it's right 4 you.I look at it like test drivin a car,I prefer to know we're compatible.But that doesn't mean that you can't buy a new car without the test drive and still learn to be compatible as well.As a man later in life,I'm glad to be with a woman who knows what she wants and how to get it,but no matter what you decide,1 day you will know what you want and how to get it as well.Waite till your ready and only you will know when that is.s*x won't keep a relationship afloat,but it certainly might sink 1.To many guys out there are after that and that alone.Waite till your ready and then you won't be disappointed in yourself.

Answer 5

your first time suppose ot be special. when you are read you will give it up. don't let any man push you to do such. when you are ready go for it and if he doesn't respect that he could hit the road. make a wise decision on it when you are ready. good luck

Answer 6

i don't think it's unrealistic at all for a guy to wait until you're ready.

s*x doesn't make up relationships, and if it does, then it isn't healthy.

plus if you find a guy that will break up with you over not doing it, then he is definately not the one anyways. trust me someone will come along that will respect you and won't need s*x to have a good relationship.

good luck.

Answer 7

tell him straight up it shouldn't be, take control babe

Answer 8

My bf and I don't have s*x or anything. I'm a virgin and he's only had s*x once. When we got together, I just knew he was the one. He was so different, but when i mentioned that we wouldn't have s*x until marriage, I thought he'd be the typical guy and not go for it. BUT he doesn't mind at all, and he doesn't pressure me to do anything. We still do things, but he knows that we won't have s*x until we get married. I love him for being so understanding, and I know that he won't lie or cheat which is something else I really love. So there ARE good guys out there.

Answer 9

"The one" will agree with you, understand, and also wait. Stick to your guns! Hard as it may seem now... I wish I had not done what I did at 18.  

Answer 10

There is no "the one". There are "the many" so don't worry that out of the over 3 billion males on the planet there is only one good match for you. That's ridiculous.

If you want to abstain from s*x until marriage, that is your right. Everyone is different, and it's more common not to wait but that in no way implies you should change your view on the issue.

For me, s*x is a mandatory part of a romantic/dating relationship...but that's just me. I've been married and may or may not ever marry again, but I do not choose to be without s*x when I'm with someone.

To each, their own...neither choice is more right than the other. It's all about how you feel and what works for you. Yes, you will find some guys who will be okay with waiting.