GUYS: please advise me on how to raise a young boy to be a successful man-I am a single parent?

Question

He plays basketball, joined the Police Athletic League (PAL) and has a successful mentor from the Big Brother, Big Sister program. I plan to get him involved in football and skateboarding in the fall. He hates to read no matter how hard I try and is barely passing his grades, and was held back last year.

I have been a divorced single-parent for the past 13 years and he father has never been in his life at all. I am seeing what people have told me in the past that there will be a time when my son will want to try to stand up and overpower me (at times).

How did you make it through your youth, or life lessons, etc

Answer 1

Just in case no one else mentions it, have you considered the small possibility of dyslexia? Only I do hear the occassional person in their 30's have gone all their lives with it unnoticed ...not majorly likely, but always a possibility (could be he finds it difficult to read thus wants to avoid it at all costs).

edit -yeah, someone mentioned it!

I think my work here is done *dissapears into sunset*

Answer 2

make sure he dosent have ADD because when they have ADD they will HATE to read because it is TOO constrictive for them. However he may be a very bright person that would really benefit from a good education so get him checked out for ADD or HDAD. Other than that a good male role model is a great idea. Sounds like you are on the right track and your intentions are very well thought out.

One thing you must NEVER do is OVER PROTECT him. He must find out about life from Experience otherwise he wont be prepared for the HARSHNESS of reality and he will get HURT.......you must lead by EXAMPLE don't be too SOFT or OVER PROTECTIVE and make sure he has good male role models.........Other than that I would just check to see if he may have a learning disability like HDAD or dyslexia. Since you say he hates to read, and he may be very bright. So it would be a shame to deprive him of the benefits of a good education and the bright future that will come with it.

Answer 3

my bf's parents were divorced and he lives with his dad who is a single parent uhmm well i knew him ever since he was in grade 1 of elementry school and i met his dad a billion times. He turned out to be fine and he's crazy smart but when we were rlly young he almost failed 3 grades and got held back atleast once, things change and i bet ur doing great and ur son will turn out just fine. Ur a good parent just because u question if u r or not and because u worry about him, so take it easy and enjoy lifes gifts!

Answer 4

Well, i suggest doing what my mother did. When i was a kid, my mother always involved me in sports and activities such as the school baseball team and the school paper. This kept me excited and i always wanted to hang out with friends at these clubs and i knew i had to pass all my classes to stay in so i did just that. Get him involved in school activities that hes interested in.

Answer 5

you should just try and be a good role modle and set good examples

Answer 6

If he is already over 13 years old it's too late for you to make any changes that will have any significant effect.

At this stage in his development the best thing you can do is monitor his friends. The next 5 years will set the direction for the rest of his life, for better of worse.

Answer 7

Make sure he goes to youth classes at church. Just keep him spiritually balanced & he should be strong. Also raise him to be a leader & not follow other ppl & what he sees on TV. (rap videos)

It is also important for you to lead by example

Ps: Let him know that he cant be aprt of any sports and have No t.v & cant hang with friends if he doesnt bring his grades up

God Bless

Stay Strong;-)

Answer 8

its natural even with 2 parents for the kids to try and stand up to them, but you have to remember your the adult and he should treat you with respect, h**l try to break you but don;t let that happen, now im not saying beat your child if he does osmething bad but make sure theres respect.

Now most boys, and a lot of young girls hate reading. Its natural.

Answer 9

Those activities are great! Sounds like you're on the right track. Having a good male figure in a boys life is extremely important for his development and the lack of one is one of the biggest problems with kids these days.

Answer 10

I had two boys and was a single mom.  Boy's usually LOVE their mom's.  I never had one try to overpower me.  They usually try to protect their mom.  It doesn't mean they won't get mad at you though!

Reading:  I let my kids read anything as long as they read.  I didn't care if it was a comic book - it was still reading.  It has to be something that interests them or they won't do it.  OR, is there a reading problem?  Eye problem?  Comprehension problem?  

You are never 1/2 a parent.  Be strong and he will be too.

Answer 11

too many activities.........skateboarding, football, pal, basketball,

more than likely he can't read........

if you can read you can get an education.....

so where do you begin.....

he's bigger and stronger than you and you are afraid of him....

if you make him feel stupid, he will only shut you out.

if you bring it to the counselors in school he will drop out...

get the big brother to work with you on this.......this is so important.........without it his life will be c**p..........

is there any other family member that he trusts and looks up to?  

check out hooked on phonics and also sylvan learning systems..........

set some post hs goals, college, job, military, don't just think army or marines, the coast guard and air force offer alot without the risk of foot soldier combat.......

Answer 12

Read for him inspiring n motivational stories.

make it a routine to visit worship place daily.

n greet elders respectfully.