Gambling addiction?

Question

I have a friend that I think has a gambling addiction. I have noticed some$ missing from my house. Also, she got fired for stealing at work. What should I do?????

Answer 1

You cannot help her.  You  may want to but all you will end up with is no money from her either stealing from you are you foolishly lending it to her (she does not need loans).

Keep all your identifiable info in a safe if you are going to continue to allow her in your home and lock up anything you cannot live without.  She may be the nicest person in the world, but she has an addiction and you look like a means to an end.  And if she has to steal your identity in order to make money, she will.

Find the numbers for some local support groups and then let her be.  She has to be the one to do all the work.

Answer 2

The answer is very simple. Do not allow her into your house. Lock and barricade all doors and windows. She is an addict and will only get worse. If she knocks at your door, tell her you just found out you have Hepatitis C and you are contagious and she has to leave. Or, tell her, you are sick and she has to leave. Se will continue to steal from you and might be on crack or some other drug, so it is best to not allow her in your house. You can pray for her, but she needs to join a Support Group and this will have to be her choice as you cannot force her to change....

Answer 3

Hmmm like drugs, he need to be handle by professionals

Answer 4

Your first step is to protect yourself. Hide your purse when you know she might be coming over. Lock your bedroom door with a key that you keep on your person. If you think she might steal valuables to sell for gambling money, you may need to rent a storage facility and temporarily relocate the family heirlooms and whatnot.

Next, if you haven't already, voice your concerns with your son. If he's supportive, GREAT! If not, you have a tough decision to make because getting involved in this could alienate you from your son.

Locate the local gambling helpline. If there isn't one locally, there are some groups that help nationally, such as lostbet.com or nongambler.com. You might also contact them yourself for advice on how to confront her in an intervention.

This is all assuming you do want to get involved...

Answer 5

Dear Karen,

This is a tough situation.  She may be addicted  to gambling, or it may in fact be something worse.  Typically if someone is addicted it does not stop at one thing.   She may also be on drugs for example, and you may not even be able  to tell.  

There are two classes of "addicts"--those who know and admit it, and those who don't.   Where she falls makes a difference in how successful you can be at  changing this  situation.  

If you have noticed money missing, you need to say something.  This is to respect you, because it is bothering you.   I would suggest you actually tell her "I noticed there was money missing  the last  time you were over.  Do you know anything about that?   Or,  did you see anything?"  

Crazy as this sounds, this gives her the chance to come clean.   She may or she may not, but you have now given her the opportunity.  Remember once she admits her issue (if even to herself) no one  could  ever be harder on her than her.   When she realizes her problem she will also feel a great deal of guilt and shame.  

If you know for sure she  took it, then you need to tell your son.  He may be blind to this and he needs to know.  He may or may not want  to know, especially if he is doing what I call Caretaking her.  

Doing this is what some people refer to as "tough love".  Locking up your valuables, avoiding the issue, do no one any good except to avoid conflict.  Now, she may not choose to listen to you... but you are giving her the chance.  You need to set good boundaries.  

I have a product  that can help you to understand when you are  caretaking, and to set the appropriate boundaries.  It is about 4hours of audio and a workbook, I will post it in the resource  section if you want to check it out.  It may also be helpful for your son if he is open to it.

I also have a free report on addictions, and a book "The 7 Why's of Addiction:  The Hidden Secrets that Cause Addictions and the 3 Keys to Finally be Free of Them"  Either or both of these may give you some additional insight, so you can stay compassionate  but firm with this person who is now a member of your family.  

All the best.  This is not an easy situation.  

Warmly,

Pam Ragland

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Answer 6

Goog advice Youtching.

It's something you can't handle alone, otherwise you'll sink with her, or you'll let her down when you'll notice your help isn't enough.

You need to bring her to a therapist or Anonymous Gamblers.