Don’t you just totally despise the name Gary? Rhodes, Barlow, and Lineker lead a contingent of Garys that all have the ability to ruin a good night’s TV. Despite not being the biggest fan of the three aforementioned celebs, I have had no serious vendetta against them before this weekend as Gary was just another run of the mill first name which had no effect on my life.
But now anyone called Gary can expect a rough ride, thanks to the past few days.
Now, I’m prone to the odd bet now and again – not on a daily basis – only days which have a ‘y’ in them. My Sunday, yes it has a ‘y’ in, football bets were going incredibly well; actually it couldn’t have been going any better. A £5 accumulator on Draw/Manchester United, Manchester City to beat Fulham, Cardiff to see off Watford and Leicester City to win against Coventry – returned over £150, and would have gone a long way to numbing my Cheltenham Festival pain.
Leicester were cruising at half time, 2-0 to the good with Coventry looking dead and buried. United’s 2-1 win to secure the first part of my acca has been successful, added to Cardiff and Man City securing two-goal leads, all that was needed was the Foxes to stay strong. The rest they say is history. Coventry rallied in the second half and came back to draw the game 2-2 with Gary Deegan scoring the equaliser. It wouldn’t surprise me if BBC commentator Mark Bright has Gary as his middle name, as his constant shocked tone about how Leicester drew the match when being so comfortable in the first period left me teetering on the brink of writing a firm letter to the BBC.
The next chapter of my Gary nightmare involved Dancing on Ice star Gary Lucy, a dead cert to be voted off in the quarter-final stage so my reality TV expert, my sister to you and me, told me. She is normally spot on with her predictions, including tipping up Alex Reid to win celebrity Big Brother, I got on the cross dressing cage fighter (behave yourselves) at 26.0. Lucy was trading around the 4.5. mark to be voted off, and his performance on the night left me pretty confident of securing a return. He finished bottom of the viewers vote but sneaked through the judge’s vote by one into next week’s final, he’s about as good at skating as I am at picking a winner.
How did I decide to clear my mind of this Garyfied nonsense? A kick about for my mate’s six-a-side team. The standard is poor, and without being of the class of Gary Deegan, my ability usually bags me a couple of goals, gaining legendary status within the ranks.
After the worst 20 minutes of centre forward play you are ever likely to see, the chance to redeem myself with a last-minute penalty to secure the 4-3 victory surely would sustain me as the fans favourite.
The pathetically scuffed shot was clawed away by the somewhat obese goalkeeper, and as if things couldn’t get any worse, three words echoed around the floodlight pitch - “great save Gary”.
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