Germans: Are you more reserved when it comes to meeting new people?

Question

I'm German, and I'm not as open and outgoing when I meet new people. And it's kind of frustrating for me, because I always need a while to to open up to people, and Americans sometimes misunderstand that attitude by thinking that I'm too quiet. But hey, I just don't know what to tell a stranger when I first meet them.

Do you also have that problem?

Answer 1

I think I know why Germans are like that. Germans are taught since they were little to respect other people's spaces. A true/ old fashioned German will not say hello to you not because they are rude or shy, they think you will be bothered if they interfere with your peace.

Answer 2

I'm American living in Germany and I gotta say, what you tell is right, nothing against Germans but they seem to be either "bashful" or kinda nerdy. I don't know what the problem is. For you a little piece of advice:   Talk to people you don't know at least twice a day so you'll probably open up more!

Answer 3

Amina, you might be an exception since most Germans I met abroad are the contrary: big mouths,sorry, not behaving too proper and "knowing everything eg thats much better,more clever,cleaner etc. in Deutschland/Germany).

Answer 4

I met a lot of German women on my recent trip to Australia and I've noticed that some of you are shy and reserved others are the opposite. My roommate was a German girl from the East. She was also quiet at 1st but she did open up after a while. I guess it does depend upon the personality of a person not the race.

Answer 5

its something asssociated with the English as much as the Germans.

its just to do with upbringing and culture, but of course it can vary depending on peoples personalities.

Im somewhere in the middle, I dislike very loud, extremely extroverted people, but a very quiet and overly-reserved person would make me feel just as uncomfortable - strike a good balance.

Answer 6

I'm American and I am also reserved when I meet new people.  I am not a loud, outgoing person. People are probably intimidated by your silence and that is why they encourage you to open up.  Just be cordial and do what is comfortable for you.

Answer 7

I'm an American from a German family, and in general, I would agree that they are a bit more reserved than Americans, especially when first meeting someone.  Germans also tend to be more formal, which can come across as being reserved.

That said, after you've talked to somebody a bit, Germans are every bit as friendly as Americans... :o)

Answer 8

My husband is German, and I moved here to be with him.  My impression was that Germans are kind of stand-offish and arrogant.  Like, if I were with my husband in a store, and we saw some acquaintances of his, they would just talk to him and totally ignore me, no Guten Tag or anything.  In our neighborhood, when I went out and saw people who lived near us, I would greet them and they would just give me a stupid look.  The other parents from my son's school are more likely to ignore me than to say hello.  I've lived here for 13 years now, and my opinion still hasn't changed.  Germans certainly are not the most friendly people on earth.  It really irks me to hear them say that Americans are "oberflächlich" or shallow.  Maybe they confuse friendliness and politeness with being shallow or "oberflächlich."

Answer 9

I am German as well and I my experience the reason why we seem to be more reserved than native English speakers is that we just not used to do small talk...I also felt stupid to talk about the weather, the bus that was late this moring, my last coffee break, the sooo gorgeous socks of my work mates etc for more than three seconds, to me that was a waste of time...but this got better with time...trust me...now I am the king of small talk lol

Answer 10

If I meet new people I'm just friendly and telling not everybody right a way my business. I'm talking about little things, if I know somebody longer and than I'm talking more privacy but first I check the people too, if I don't trust nobody than I'm quiet too.