Getting attention??help?

Question

OK, so i have a twin and I am constantly overshadowed by her. In school, in sports, everything. I have tried to take up new things, but then she decides she wants to do it to, and ends up being better than me. In softball, we are both varsity starters, I am first base, but she is pitcher. We are both the only ones who play those positions on the team, but my sister gets all the credit. I seriously wish i would get hurt be out for a while, just so i can say, hey at least it wasnt kelly, your pitcher. Any suggestions? I love softball to death, but i am seriously considering giving it up my senior year, just to see if the coaches and players miss me and so i am not overshadowed. Any thoughts or suggestions. I would love not to give it up but I just dont know what to do.

Answer 1

I know exactly how you feel.  I don't have a twin, but I have a little sister who was a much better gymnast than I was.  She always got all the attention.  Our family owned a gymnastics club, and when we got older, we both started coaching.  Once again, my sister got the better job - she coached the high level teams, while I coached the younger developmental gymnasts.  My job was actually much harder, and more important, because I had to prepare them for the higher levels.  But of course my sis got all the attention, because she got to take them to the meets and stand with them when they won - even though it was me who got them to that point.

And I felt the same way you do.  I thought, maybe I should quit, and then everyone will appreciate what I did and miss me, and it will serve them right!  And so I did.  I went on and pursued a different career.  And guess what?  Everyone DID miss me!  The kids and the other coaches were devastated when I left.  My parents were heartbroken and still to this day talk about how hard it was to lose one of their best coaches.

So I got what I wanted: appreciation, and reassurance that I was really a good coach.  But somehow it didn't make me feel as good as I thought it would.  I felt pretty guilty for letting everyone down.  And I missed coaching.  But it was too late to go back.

I guess my point is: if you love softball, stay with it.  Do it for YOU - for the fun of it, for the satisfaction you get when you make a great play.  YOU know that your position is just as important as your sister's.  And everyone else knows it, too.  People do appreciate you, even if they don't show it.  Yes, it would be nice to get some attention once in a while.  But praise and attention from others really isn't as meaningful as you might think.  It's the inner satisfaction you get from doing a good job that makes you feel the best.  If you quit something you love just to make a point, you may hurt others a little, but you'll mostly be hurting yourself.  

Hope this helps in some way.  =]

Answer 2

If you really love softball, don't let your twin ruin it for you.  Is there anything that you can find that is just your thing, and your twin isn't even allowed to do it?  Maybe if you had that, the softball thing wouldn't bug you so much.  Just have fun