Getting married. Keeping maiden name. Has anyone had problems related to having diff last name as husband??

Question

He's very traditional and feels a little slighted that I am not taking his sir name. He thinks there may also be difficulties with having a different last name, such as inability to have a joint credit card account with my name on the cc. It seems it would be much less hassle to only change address and "marital status" than to change bank accounts, SS info, etc. Besides, my children share my last name. I'm thinking he's just trying to talk me into taking his name. :) I do not feel that taking or not taking a sir name has any bearing on love or commitment. Any thoughts? (I'm especially interested in those who have a similar situation and whether or not you have experienced any difficulties with a later-in-life name change [married, kept name but decided to change it to his later in life].) Thanks in advance.

Answer 1

My parents have been married 27 years and my mom never took his name. They have joint credit cards, joint accounts, everything is in both their names... so I do beleive he's just trying to talk you into taking his name.

Answer 2

I'm with you.

I just like my name and wouldn't want to chage it, no big reason behind it, I just don't want to.

It's as easy to change your name later in life as it would be two days after you got married.

On the joint accounts, it goes by your social, if they need proof your married, fax them over a copy of your marriage license.  It will take 10 minutes.

I've had my last name throughout school and my professional career, if people see my name, I went them to recognize my name.  It's good for my business.

Answer 3

I think its attitude driven and therefore if my new bride did that I would be alarmed and horrified... not because of the name specifically... but because of the attitude that drove the choice.

Answer 4

it is surname! not sir name.

I double-barreleed my maiden name to my husbands name, also fora my son's sake. not a bad idea that you want to keep yours.

just explain to him your reasons.  

Answer 5

I kept my maiden name and so far (7 years) I have had no practical problems. We both get junkmail and telemarketing phone calls in each others last name... that is all.

Answer 6

I took my husbands name proudly! I love him and I wanted to take his last nime. Why wouldny you?

Answer 7

I have decided a long time ago that I will keep my maiden name.  I don't want to give up my own identity and become someone new.

Answer 8

You will not having any problems having joint accounts, credit cards, mortgages etc. having a different last name doesn't matter at all (speaking from the personal experience).  

Answer 9

Why would you want to make a joint home... but not fully commit to being his partner? I couldn't have been happier to take my husband's last name. So what if I had to close out my bank account. It wasn't all that much of a big deal.

Why not hyphenate your last names? I understand about your children sharing your name... And, being that you can see how important that is... how is it that you can't even take his name and put it next to yours?

Answer 10

You can have a credit card with your name on it with a joint account. We do, and have both names on the checks. And that goes for car titles, etc. You're just a number to Social Security. They don't care what you call yourself. About the only time it's anything at all is when someone calls for Mr. <your name> or Mrs. <his name>, but that helps you know they're no one you want to talk to.  

Answer 11

I think that it's entirely up to you. When I got married, I hyphenated my surname..

Answer 12

No it won't cause any problems at all, and your right, your husband is just trying to get you to take on his last name.  The fact is you'll still be married and have documents showing that.  There are many women who use their maiden name instead of husband's surname, and personally I don't see anything wrong with that.  Maybe, like myself, you actually are very proud of your own last name and can't see yourself using another.    

Answer 13

Sorry, but I think that taking your husband's last name is more than just tradition. It's a statement that you two are one and that you are proud to take his name as you are taking him as your spouse for life.

I imagine there can be problems... how many times do you want to explain to people that you are married, you just don't share your husband's name?

I understand your kids have the same name, but that is different... I have always felt that women who want to keep their own name aren't really ready for marriage. They are two worried about maintaining their own "identity" to really be able to mesh their life with another person. They feel like giving up their name is giving up a part of themself and marriage is about giving up a part of yourself and who you are to this other person. Life is no longer about you but about both of you... together.

Ya know, he's willing to give you his name, to let the whole world know you are his wife and his love and you are rejecting that... no wonder he is upset.