Getting married next year & looking to cut some costs...?

Question

So I recently got engaged and not the date has been set for August of 2009.

Now traditionally the bride’s parents pay for the wedding. Which sounds great to me, but….my parents don’t have the money to give me a big fancy wedding. So my fiancé and I are on our own. We are looking to do something simple & elegant without going above and beyond and without being obviously cheap.

A quick count has got us to about 80 guests (hoping to cut that down too).

So I am wondering if people can give me some ideas for reception cost cutting.

I’ve already got a few ideas like…..making my own table center pieces, not having a ton of flowers, more of a buffet style lunch rather then sit down dinner, etc.

Most of the guests will be close family & then our best friends (we both have a lot of family).

I’m hoping to get some ideas for invitations, wedding music, decorations, food, drinks….anything you can think of, I’d love to hear it. Thank you!

Answer 1

I don't have  idea but I would like to congratulate you and tell you vest in the marriage not the wedding... and no matter how much you spend the most important thing is to enjoy every moment because feeling are the most you going to remember about the wedding 10 years from now. I had a very simple wedding I cut the flowers I just put very sim white and pink Lilly's in center peaces.. I didn't have a cake... I served Ice cream and I had a DJ my only big expense was my wedding dress 1000$ it was made specially for me... its my own design I own it and kept it..and professional photographer.. 500$.. because I think pictures stay forever my hair and make up done by my friends.. and because all my guests are friend and family they enjoyed it with me and we had the best time.. we danced till after midnight... I tried to enjoy every moment of it.

Answer 2

There are a lot of good ideas and I will be using some.  One thing I can suggest for obtaining a dress is going to a filene's basement when they do the runnning of the bride.  I went a couple of weeks ago and got a dress for $250.  The dress is beautiful and the original price was $700.  The online thing is the sale is final so u have 2 b sure it is the dress u want.

Answer 3

Here's some ideas... How about hooking up your ipod for music? You can choose your songs and everything, and you will save 100s of dollars on a DJ. As far as invitations, you can buu DIY invitations from staples, target, anywhere really! I think making your own adds a great personal touch. I'm not sure what kind of venue you are having, but I bought round paper chinese lanterns to help decorate my tent. I got all different sizes, so it will look cool. You can get those cheap online. Good luck!

Answer 4

Your reception site, food , rings and dress are among your most expensive items Flowers and photographers are right up there too. Take a couple of pieces of papaer and write down every costs or thing that you can think of regarding wedding expenses and youe and your future husband rate them and cross out the things that aren't important. Then plan according to your budget where your $$$ go. See if some close family members will gift you the item instead of buying a gift. You can't expect a friend or sibling to cater your whole wedding but they might be able to provide a cake or make  do ahead appetizers. Try to get your style down now so you can buy non-perishable items ahead of time. Champagne, wine and alcohol hold well.  As does fabric and craft items. That spreads the costs over a year rather than hitting the old credit cards hard at the last moment. The dollar store is a great resource. Consider not having favors. Have special guests take home flowers or centerpieces.

Answer 5

My fiance and I are doing an hors d'oeurves and cocktail reception... no sit down dinner. We are saving $800 by doing this. If you or a friend/relative are crafty, try making your own flower bouquet. I did mine and it turned out soo pretty... here is a picture: http://i164.photobucket.com/albums/u25/s... , and the flowers are not real either... they actually came from my local Hobby Lobby (i need to add one more sunflower in the bottom right hand corner and add ribbon around the bouquet holder). Also, try checking on ebay for wedding dresses... you will be AMAZED at the deals they have on there. A lot of them are bridal shop samples in pristine condition... it's worth a shot.

Answer 6

That is great that you are willing to make things yourself to help keep costs down.  A friend of mine recently got married and she rented her gown rather than buy one.  I wish they had that when I was getting married, it would have saved a fortune.  Try and keep everything as simple as possible.  I love simple weddings, I find them more elegant than big showy ones. I put a couple of web sites below that may help you and give you some ideas.

Answer 7

A friend's daughter had an afternoon reception at a country club immediately following the service - it was really memorable and elegant. The receiving line was in the garden. They had a table set up with shrimp, fancy savories and served champagne. There was a pianist playing and guests could wander into the beautiful gardens. Just a thought, there's nothing written in stone that you have to have an evening reception.

Answer 8

Hi and congratulations:

I have no idea what your budget is, but here are some ideas that I have given others:

~ The question that you and your fiance need to ask yourselves is "what is my idea of a wedding?"  You probbly will not be able to do the big huge dress, biggest fanciest reception venue, many attendants and guests. However, you CAN have a very nice wedding on a budget...you will just need to be very frugal and willing to go "outside the box" on things.

~ Two BIG ways to save is to have a SMALL wedding; say 75-100 guests MAX! The second way is to have a SMALL wedding party....just a maid of honor and best man, maybe a flower girl if you really want.

~ There are so many ways to save -- you just need to decide what is important and what you can cut. Everything from your gown to the photographer can come in cheaper if you look around and go "outside the box."

~ The first thing is for you and your fiance to PRIORITIZE what you want....get prices...and then see what you can cut.

~ The biggest portion of a wedding budget is the reception so that is the biggest area where savings can add up! Cost compare everything! Everything is dependent on location, location, location! You may not be able to afford the "best" venue. But you can look at VFW Halls, Knights of Columbus Halls, cheaper hotels like Holiday Inn or Best Western. The hotels will be able to provide food. The other places should have kitchen facilities where you can bring in your own or have it catered.

~ Another big way to save on your reception would be to have it outside at a park or in someone's home or backyard.

~ Do you belong to a church? That is another option. Most churches have Fellowship Halls you can use.

~ Other options are to not do the "traditional" dinner thing. Why not have a MORNING wedding with a brunch reception? This would be a HUGE savings and would be very different and unique. OR....have a late morning wedding and a lunch reception. Again, the savings could really add up.

~ OR...don't serve a meal at all! Have a "dessert reception" with a variety of desserts, champagne, coffee and punch. You can even do a "coffee bar" if you want. Very elegant and much less costly than the "traditional" reception. If you go this way, you can only do it at certain times (not a meal time). You could have a 2 p.m. wedding with a dessert reception following....or say an evening wedding....7:30 p.m. with a dessert reception following.

~ Your dress: Look at places like David's Bridal, JCPenney, etc.

~ Your wedding party - keep it small. This is a big savings...not only in terms of "stress", but in terms of attendants gifts, extras at the rehersal dinner, etc. It ALL adds up!

~ Invitations: Buy the "boxed sets" from stores like Michael's, Target, and Walmart. These sell for around $25 and there are 50 in a box.  There are many different styles.  You bring them home and print them yourself.  Easy!

~ Flowers: Do you know of anyone who is good at arranging flowers? If so, ask for assistance. If not, go to a florist in a grocery store! They are trained designers and they will be chaper than a regular florist.

~ Cake: The same with the cake, go to a bakery in a grocery store...cheaper than a regular bakery. Do you live by a Walmart, Sam's Club or Publix? They have really good cakes.

~ Centerpieces: Do something really simple and elegant. A glass bowl or vase, filled with some "vase gems" and a couple of floating candles. Everything is available at dollar stores, Walmart, etc. Total cost for a centerpiece - about $3-$4/each.

~ Photographer: Do NOT scrimp on a photographer!

~ Favors - I urge every bride to NOT do favors. No one notices or cares. This is a HUGE waste. If you really think you need something....go with a few Hershey Kisses in a mesh bag.

~ Don't waste money on "table cameras" either! These are usually not used very much, and if they are, people only take silly pictures.

There are endless ways to save. Go on other websites to see what other brides have done! Here is a good site:

www.frugalbride.com

Good luck!

Answer 9

Invitations are fairly cheap to do on a home computer.  You can get kits at Staples or even Walmart.  I am pretty sure I'm getting mine at Staples.  You can get 50 invitations for under $35 and then print them at home.

Also for favors, my fiancee and I are using NECCO conversation hearts (they have an extremely long shelf life (5 years) so we're planning on buying them the day after Valentine's Day and if we don't get enough we'll order some wedding themed conversation hearts from theknot.com) and we're putting them in tulle cirlces (AC Moore) and tying them with ribbon (we were planning on using a curling ribbon, like what is common around Christmas time or used for helium balloons)

For flowers, I honestly have always liked carnations and am planning on using them for my bouquet (possibly with a few scattered roses for texture)  If you like more expensive blooms, choose a flower that can stand alone, like a single rose or lilly.

We also did a lot of research to find a reception venue that gives a lot of bang for the buck (it's inexpensive and includes 4 course gourmet meal, cake, and centerpieces!)  My fiancee and I don't drink so we're also saving $15 per person by only serving non-alcoholic beverages.  We are also planning on our wedding to be at 11am with the reception from 12pm-5pm.  

As for a dress, I am waiting for the Running of the Brides in Boston (near my parents' house).  Filene's Basement offers amazing bridal sales a couple times per year with dresses originally worth up to over $10000 marked down to between $249 and $699.  It's the only way to get a couture gown for cheap!  David's Bridal also does a $99 gown sale a couple times per year. (My friend got her gorgeous dress for $99 there!)

In one aspect we are very lucky.  My fiancee is a musician and most of his friends are musicians.  We have convinced some of his friends to play for next to nothing for all our music needs!  You can also think outside the box on this one.  If there is a good cover band that plays at a local bar, why not see if they can play your reception?  You can also go to a local college and get a group of music majors to play for cheaper than professionals!

As for photography, My dad's cousin is a photographer and he's doing the pictures as our wedding gift, just like he did for my parents 30 years ago!  Once again, you can also go to a local college and find some photography major to do the pictures for you!

Unfortunately for us, my family alone is over 100 people (with 20 aunts and uncles and over 20 cousins most of whom are married with children, it's a HUGE family), NOT including his family or any friends, so we're trying to cut costs in as many ways as posssible!  We looking at keeping our wedding to under 200.  The one important thing for me is that everyone can be there, including children.  My fiancee knows this and respects it as long as we can make it work with our budget.  For him, it is most important to go on a kick*ss honeymoon.  So, we're cutting costs all over the place for the wedding and reception.

Answer 10

I was in the same situation. The two main things I did not skimp on was the dress and the photography - the two things that were most important to me.  Other things: I had a finger-food buffet instead of a sit-down meal (those will cost you $30-$50 per person), and I had my aunts help with cooking the food. I made my own decorations and my grandmother-in-law and mother-in-law helped. We rented our tuxes from Goody's.  We had the reception at a local community building, which returned our deposit when we left the place clean and undamaged (our church's fellowship hall had not been built yet.)  We had friends sing and uncle-in-law videotaped it. I spent a modest amount on flowers, and we got a gorgeous cake for $1.50 per person by a lady who does it out of her home.  I think at the most all total we spent $1500-$2000 (granted, this was 10 years ago), and we spent about $600 on our honeymoon (went to Gatlinburg, TN and stayed in a log cabin for 4 days.)

Good luck and congratulations!

Answer 11

Go to your local craft stores and you can find invitations to print out on the Internet from Wiltons. You can have expensive looking invites for around 50.00. Also if you are doing your own centerpieces look for flowers and candles now when they go on clearance  and put them away until your wedding. Also if you are doing a buffet style reception go to the Oriental Trading web site for your glasses, napkins, plates, etc, They offer free personalization and really cheap prices.

Answer 12

Congratulations on your engagement!

One idea to save you money is by having a potluck dinner/dessert.  This way your reception can be buffet style, and will be tasty home-cooked! If you decide for a potluck wedding, have the guests tell you what they're bringing ahead of time and make a list of the menu (make sure anything with nuts {or anything else someone could be allergic to} is labeled).  For more info on this and other money saving wedding ideas, go to http://www.do-it-yourself-weddings.com

Do one or your friends or family members sing well or play instruments?, eg: my sister and her boyfriend play gigs at birthday parties and at restaurants sometimes.  Or you could have a d.j., the guests can even request songs and it's really fun!

Good Luck with your soon-to-be husband!, and I hope you have a beautiful wedding.

Answer 13

my only advice is do not tell the people you are getting married.

if you are booking a hall for the reception. do not mentiona wedding. same goes with flowers and things because as soon as you mention wedding they mark the price up at least 300%.

so if u order flowers.. say its for like a school reunion function or something. my friend was hiring this hall for out prom and then 2 yrs later my friend got married and wanted to use the same hall and told the people its for a wedding and the price went up frm $500 to $1500 so yeah just limit the word wedding.

also if you get married during the non peak periods the wedding packages you can get 30-40% off wedding packages with food/dinner and wedding planners as everyone gets married during the peak season.. not many people get married during winter and stuff wich is when they offer huge discounts.

i was watching a news program wich pointed it out.

Answer 14

you can talk to a hotel about a package deal for one of their rooms, explaining your budget, and they can typically provide you with a discount to include the room, decor, bar, and even food. you can have a family member play MC and mix your own idea of good songs (typically write down the names of different songs from clubs you go to or things you hear on the radio) to play with the hotel's stereo system to save on dj costs. or you could go by this website: http://www.onewed.com/articles/41/cut-we...

either way, good luck

Answer 15

We found a reception site that had no food minimums and a ton of decor for us to use for free. Our wedding is in a very decorated hall already so there is no flowers to be put there since it is filled with flowers already. Cut down the wedding party to two attendants and instead of doing corsages for all of the important people make little nosegays with a divided flower bouquet from the store that morning.

Call around!!!! I price shopped for dj and found one that was willing to do our wedding for 250 instead of the 600-900 I was getting quoted originally. All I did was call a bunch of the reputable places and say that I could only afford 200 for that evening and eventually I got several offers from250-300. A significant savings. Simple centerpieces such as a candle with a lily or orchid propped against it and river rocks looks beautiful and elegant and can be done for 5.00 a table.

We made our own invitations which we are using as decorations also at the reception. We got black card stock at walmart, in the scrapbooking section we found a booklet of 24 pages or romantic quotes on velum. We simply printed out the invite, pasted it on cardstock that we cut down and with two holes punched into the cardstock and velum tied ribbon onto the invite. People keep remarking to me on how fantastic my invites looked. We are taking the same velum pages and putting them in cheap frames with no backing and a candle in the middle so that all around the room there will be highlighted love quotes in various places on tables etc.

The invitations, response cards and envelopes along with the extra velum and frames cost me less than 30 dollars to make.

Answer 16

Your situation is EXACTLY like mine.  I got married in April and we paid for it onour own.  we had 78 people at our wedding.  Here's what I did...

I contacted local venues and asked if they had any dates that they would be willing to discount.  I told them I could do it in 3 months.  They were willing to discount a Friday night sit down dinner (around here, buffets are actually more expensive!) for a date that they didn't ahve booked (but you could do a Sunday brunch too!).  They'd rather sell it at a lower cost than not at all and honestly, in 4 months (that's how much time we had) they probably wouldn't have gotten another wedding booked on that date because most people plan far in advance.

We lucked out in that the place we went had a on-site florist and gave certain things for free, but here are some options if you have to make your own centerpieces.  Get a glass bowl at a craft store like AC Moore, put some colored stones in the bottom and float a few candles and flowers in it.  This is BEAUTIFUL and adds to the romantic atmosphere (and is pretty cheap!).  I ended up going with their florist, but you can order flowers online at costco.com, bjswholesale.com, etc.  They're basic sets, but you could use them.  Or, go to a local florist and tell them you're on a tight budgtet and see what they can do.  I'd suggest focusing on getting what you really want and pictured in your bouquet and the rest of the flowers is where you cut back.  Your bouquet will be in all of the pictures and what you see and remember most.  Make it what you really want.  I also cut way back on flowers at the ceremony site.  I only had a draped fabric and a few flowers in the corners of the fabric at the site.  That was it.  I figured we weren't there all that long and wanted to spend the money elsewhere.  It looked great and really, we weren't there long, so I'm REALLY glad I didn't spend more on it!  I skipped the favors.  I foudn anything I liked was kinda pricey and people don't use them anyhow.  You could just have nothing, or just make a small donation to a charity and ask if they have any cards to put on the tables at the reception.  I made a donation to the ASPCA (we're animal lovers, so it was really appropriate) and got the cards to put at the table free of charge.  Our guests LOVED it and all commented they'd never seen that before and it was a great way to not waste the money.  You can use this "last minute deal" schpeel with your DJ and photographer too.  Honestly though, after we spent WAY too much on our photographer, we ended up hating our pictures!  If I had it to do again, I would buy a decent digital camera (like $300-$400) and ask someone I trust to just snap as many photos as they can.  Or, ask all of your guests to bring their cameras because you're not getting a photographer.  Most would love to help out and I bet you'd get way better (and more!) pictures.  I really wish I had done this - I can't stress it enough!  Oh, I made my invites myself.  It wasn't the most important thing to me, so I saved money there and they came otu awesome (I got comments of how nice they were).  I got boxes of invites at WalMart and printed them on my laser printer.  I dressed it up by printing a Monogram at the top and then getting a jolee's flower sticker (nicer than it sounds, check them out) from AC Moore and put them between the monogram I printed and the wording of the invite.  This also allowed me to make them all a little different!  I got 5 different colored flowers.

Lastly, if you have a specific place in mind that you really want to go to, I say try it.  If they offer you a discount because it's last minute or whatever, you could possibly afford it (I did and was SO thrilled because I really thought we couldn't ever have it there).  Most places are also willing to offer up ways you could cut the budget.  Don't worry about chair covers (no one notices that anyhow!), Keep your linens simple if they're offered cheaper, things like that.

Oh, as if I haven't babbled enough!  We did a tab bar that we set at what we could afford ($1,000) and had the plan that after that, the bar would charge if someone wanted alcohol.  It ended up being enough, but keep in mind that 1/2 of our guests didn't drink.  But it's MUCH cheaper than an open bar (which is OUTRAGEOUS!).

Congrats and have fun!  After all is said and done, you'll be so impressed with everything you've done!!!!!