Getting married on Father's Day, should I change the date?

Question

We scheduled for June 21, 2009 and that happens to be father's day.

We originally thought that would not be a problem, but now that I am booking and planning and working so hard on everything, I would be heartbroken if people did not come due to family committments.

All my vendors are available for the following week June 28. Geez, I hate to change it and wait even longer, but should I?

Would you attend a wedding on Father's Day?

Ceremony is at noon and champagne brunch will follow ending around 4pm ish.

Answer 1

Besides being concerned about people not being willing to come on Fathers' Day, I think it was a good idea to change to another date because if you have children, you will want to plan a celebration with the kids on Fathers' Day, and you might end up skipping celebrating your anniversary.

Answer 2

You are taking a big chance on a lot of 'No shows' with that date.  Dylan, in many families Father's Day is a very important day and some travel from far, planning plan elaborate ways to honor their Dad for that day, many months in advance.  Also, if you have any separated or divorced Father's in your friends/family circle, they are not going to give up a visiting rights day in honor of 'themselves', thus depriving their own children of their time with him to do special things!

In response to your question, I would send you my regrets as I would believe someone who chose Father's Day Sunday as their wedding day, was someone inconsiderate and ungrateful of even her own Dad's one special day!  What's wrong with Sat, June 20th?

Answer 3

Why is it on a Sunday in the first place? That's going to be more of a problem than it being Father's Day. I would go to a wedding for a close friend or family member on Father's Day but not anyone else.

Answer 4

I think both your fathers would be honored that you chose the day for your wedding. Guests would just spend time or call their father's earlier in the day, and be there for at least the reception. Most people dont' go to the ceremony anyway.

Answer 5

not at all sure all the men  would love it having a nite out for father day by going ot hte wedding it would be lovely

Answer 6

Our original wedding date happened to be Mother's Day weekend, of this year. Upon realizing this, we immediately switched our date to over a month later...June 28th, 2008. We were married 3 weeks ago.

Even though we hadn't chosen mother's day itself, just the weekend, we still wanted to change it. Neither of us felt it was fair, as both our mothers enjoy mother's day immensely, and why shouldn't they. Mother's and father's are often taken for granted, and this is their one special day in the entire year.

Also, think of your husband...My aunt's birthday often falls on or around mother's day...may 12th. She often gets stuck with a combined celebration. Now think of your husband, should you have children....wedding anniversary AND father's day...it's one less day to celebrate. When I began planning, I was advised to pick a date that had no ties to either one of us...no birthdays, no holidays, nothing like that, so you always will be able to celebrate your anniversary, and just that.

We had to wait a whole month longer...some people have to wait a year longer...you need only wait a week, and you'll probably be grateful for that extra time. I know I was. Good luck!

Answer 7

yep, needs to be a separate date otherwise the meaning shall be lost!

Answer 8

First, I don't think the "date" issue is a big deal, since father's day falls on a different day each year.

And to some of us, father's day is a big deal.  My husband lost his father and doing something "special" on  father's day with our young children is a big deal for the whole family.

I would attend, but I have to admit we would be irritated about it.  It wouldn't stop us from coming, but honestly - I would gossip about how annoying it is to have to rearrange father's day plans for a wedding.  :)

And my young kids would be mad too  - they like spending father's day w/daddy - it's a big deal to them.  

If your vendors are available, and there aren't any reasons not to switch other than "I don't want to wait" then I would.   Otherwise, you might be seen as being a bit self-absorbed.

Answer 9

Yes, I think you should change the date.  You have plenty of time to change the arragements without it being too much of a hassle.  Another week is not the end of the world - you've got your whole lives together!

I would not attend a wedding on father's day unless it was a close family member and even then I would be quite annoyed.  Many people have their own traditions on father's day and some people who have lost their father's like to do their own things to memorialize their fathers somehow.  Fathers with small children usually like to have a relaxing morning with breakfast prepared by the kids and then perhaps go visit their own father...I think you are just asking for many people to not come - or worse, come with an attitude - by planning it on father's day.

EDIT - I am glad to hear that you are going to change it.  I hope my answer didn't sound harsh, as I do appreciate the fact that you were even asking about it in the first place rather than just pushing forward with your original date.  I know a lot of people aren't huge fans of the Sunday wedding thing, but the fact is, a wedding isn't supposed to be a drunken party for your guests where they can all jump around and do the chicken dance.  It's supposed to be about the couple and family and friends witnessing their expression of love to each other in marriage.  I've always loved the idea of a wedding brunch and think some people may even appreciate that it's not a late night affair (people with children for example).

That said, I am sorry to hear about your father's passing.  Both of my parents are deceased, and my husband gives me a pass on mother's day and father's day to do whatever I want (we don't have children unless you count children of the furry persuasion!) as sometimes I don't like to spend the day in a room full of people who are celebrating their living parents and would rather do something in a more private manner.

Knowing about your father's passing, I would say that most of your family and friends are aware of his passing and it sounds like it was a tragic loss for everyone, so it could very well be that people would view the wedding as a tribute to him.  But, you don't know how you will wake up on that day, and even though it is your wedding day, you may wake up just really missing your father because it is father's day and you'd be getting married...it just might be a bit much for you (I know it would be for me).

Sorry I've rambled on so much, when I read your additional comments I just wanted to let you know that I wasn't meaning to be harsh in my previous answer and I can understand where you are coming from.

Best of luck to you and your fiance for a wonderful day!

Answer 10

Honestly, I don't think it's that big of a deal to have your wedding on fathers day, as far as I'm concerned, it's not that much of a holiday, right?  I think a wedding is more important.  After all, anyone who feels like they are missing out can still give their fathers a nice card or gift - lol.