Getting married twice?

Question

me and my fiance want to get married in secret. then have a larger wedding with friends and family. Will the priest/wedding coordinator/ marriage license/etc. some how hint or give away to my family that this would be a renewal of vows/second wedding?

Answer 1

There are no "second" weddings. You get one. One, thats it. One wedding.

And it is wrong and disrespectful to even ask an officiant to pretend to perform a marriage. Their job is perform REAL marriages. You have some nerve! Maybe you should hire an actor if you just want something for show.

Sheesh. Grow up!

Answer 2

no but I will

This is just stupid you answered your own question you re way too young

You obviously won't need a marriage license the second time and everyone will know

Answer 3

I don't think it is a good idea to try to keep it a secret that you are already married.  Having a "fake" wedding can look like a dig for gifts.  Instead, send out announcements that you have gotten married, and host a reception instead.

Answer 4

My friends did it and nobody knew until it was revealed at the reception after the second ceremony!  They had their hearts set on getting married outdoors, but also wanted their church to recognize the marriage (which means they had to get married in the church).  Their solution was to have the rehearsal at the church, where they were legally married in the eyes of the church and then they had their outdoor ceremony (the priest referred to it as a marriage blessing, not an actual marriage ceremony), the following day.

I had another friend who got married legally months before the actual ceremony because he needed benefits.  However at his ceremony, the guests were buzzing about how they were already married...

Answer 5

You said in your question that your waaaay to young to get married......do you honestly think a secret wedding is any less real than a public one? And how great will it feel to lie to your family like that? You'll regret it. Whats the point of getting married if no one can even know about it? You'll be bursting wanting to tell everyone.  

Answer 6

Getting married in secret is a bad idea. Why do you want to?

When I got married, we had to get the wedding license signed off on. It was a major picture moment. We have about 5 photos of us signing it and the witnesses signing the license. Not needing a signature is a tip-off.

Wedding and renewal vows are slightly different in wording. That may be another tip-off.

The officiant will have to know that you're already married. The officiant will have to approve of a secret wedding before he'll approve of making a renewal look like a "real" wedding.

Asking for gifts of any kind at a fake wedding would be tacky.

If the guests find out, how will they feel? Will they feel cheated? Will they be upset? They got all dressed up and in good faith expected a real wedding. You've given them a fake one.

Personally, I think if you have to have a "secret wedding," then you're probably not ready for all the challenges of a real marriage.

Answer 7

you and your man have the right to do it your way just tell the priest to keep on the down low as for your family if they still want to come OK but if not fine .but he can't tell a soul , he just have to treat it like a real wedding no question asks.