Getting my child tested?

Question

i have a son that's right now is going to head start program. when he was three i started noticing that he wouldn't do what normal three years did, he still thought was two years old. i thought that he just need time, because i also had a baby then too. maybe he just needed some more attention from me. so, i gave him sometime to get to know he's sister. I also made time for just our time. so when i enrolled him into the head start program. i thought this should be easy for him ,because he know how's to count to 30 and knows all of he's alphabets. he knows most of he's shapes . so, i went back to work and then that's when he's teacher said that she notice that we'll call him "zach" needed to be tested. he couldn't just seat still and concentrate on the task at hand. he had to be moving or touching someone. so, since i have joint custody i had to ask he's father if we should get him tested. he refused he said he didn't want he's child to be labeled retarded. help someone.

Answer 1

Excellent answer and suggestions from akbuttner2.  Please follow her advise.  I just recently found out my 8 yr old has Aspergers, a form of autism, that also has these similar traits.  As with all things we continue to learn, IF there is a medical issue the sooner you know, the more you can learn and the better off your child will be.

There is nothing to fear but fear itself.  Do what is in your heart to do the best for your child.

Answer 2

Get him tested- just because your ex is so self absorbed on labeling people based on their mental capabilities does not mean that your son needs to be without necessary testing. That is what is best for him....... also getting tested does not mean he is retarded... he might very well just be a very high strung child.... which is completely normal....

Answer 3

there are quite a few disabilities other than retardation that a developmental screen can detect. your ex needs to pull his head out of his behind and think more about his child's well-being than what everybody may think of your child being tested. It doesn't have to be public knowledge, and you don't have to take an ad out in the local paper. Have your son tested and tell his dad later.  "zach"'s problem could be as simple as a sensory disorder where he just needs to be active and touch things. a few months or so of physical or occupational therapy could help him and make it easier to deal with him...this has nothing to do with his intelligence at all.

Answer 4

It would be better to have your child tested than to put it off and wait until he is in school. If he goes to school having problems it could be harder for him to learn and it's hard on teachers AND especially parents when the child struggles. My son has a learning disability and I had him tested for that because he tries so hard and it broke my heart to see him struggle when the teachers and my husband and I knew he was doing his best. I can understand your x husband not wanting your son labeled. No parent does! I was nervous about my son being labeled but most people will never even know if you have your child tested. It should be between you, your child's doctor, & the school. besides that it's your choice if you tell anyone but there is nothing to be ashamed of regardless if your son has any mental (or even physical) problem. In my opinion those who neglect to help their children or those who could make fun of someone would be the stupid one. (I would say their the retarded ones but i hate that word!) Good luck and do what's best for your child.

Answer 5

My ex-husband and I have "joint-custody" but I am the primary custodian.  You need to get your child tested whether he agrees or not.  If you have to go to court, however I don't believe he can deny him testing if that is in the child's best interest.  My child has ADHD with hyperactivity and impulsiveness.  His world has changed dramtically since the diagnosis.  He is much happier, and very successful in school.  Children with behavioral disorders that are undiagnosed can suffer depression, frustration is school, failure in school, social issues with peers. You need to push the issue and make it possible for testing.  In the end he may not be anything more than an energetic child but it would be better to know.

**EDIT** having a behavioral disorder DOES NOT make you "retarded"....For example children with ADHD often have VERY high IQs.  Being "retarded" has to do with your IQ score and cannot be related to a child wih a learning or behavioral disorder.

if you need anything or want to ask questions about testing please feel free to email me.  Good Luck!

Answer 6

Learn how to spell. You should try to convince the father to get him tested

Answer 7

The teacher's are usually right on.  What's the worst thing that could happen he gets tested and nothing is wrong?  Just get it done, no one wants to think that anything is wrong with their child but, until you get him tested he will not be able to receive any help.

Answer 8

Your child will be labeled if you allow them to be labeled. My daughter was tested at 3. She got the services she needed. She will be in 6th grade next year and will me moved to a regular classroom. She had a 4 and 5th grade facilitor. She is with those teachers most of the day. When she was younger she got extra reading help and extra help from the aid in the room.She learned diferently then the other kids and that is okay. You need to find out what way your child learns. Kids are so easily distracted. I have seen people give up on their kids because they are in them and it makes me angry. I help out from time to time with the kids at school. I do what the teachers say. Sometime those kids need someone to care about them.

There was another boy the same age as my daughter. When he was 3 his mother did not want him labeled. He couldn't sit. Very short attention span. It wasn't his fault he was so easily distracted. Every year the school would ask. She would say no!! I will not have my child labeled!!! She has changed schools 2 times. the poor child just cannot get him to calm down to learn. I watched him constantly get yelled at because he would do bad things. Hitting people etc. Over the years this has started to get worse. He still cannot follow along in a class. He still can't listen completely to directions so he can't follw directions. Last week he was kicked out of school and his Momis furious. The school can't do anything with him because of his Mom. I watch him struggle and it hurts me.

I have always told the school call my child whatever you want. I don't care. I just want help for her. They have never labeled her. It is not like when we where kids and in school. As a parent you need to give them the life skills they need. You are being a bad parent by not giving them these skills and give him the chance to do these skills.

My child has never been called retarded. The school does not allow this at all!! Your child just learns definetly and you need to find out what way they learn. Give him the services to acheive. Who knows you may not even need services. what is the big deal about the testing you could still refuse services but why it is only to help. Maybe the teacher could talk to your husband or the person from the person that does the testing. I think he will see that him being labeled as retarded won't happen. Or will the school test him even if your ex doesn't want too?

Answer 9

he made be bored and want something else to do, kids lose interest in things so fast but have him tested to make sure there's nothing else going on.

Answer 10

Well I think that you should give him a little more time. How about one day you go to class with him and stay to see how he interacts, then if you feel like he needs to be tested, so be it. HOPE THIS HELPS :D