Getting my fiance interested in my interests?

Question

I'm crazy about car racing. How do I get my fiance interested in the sport? She hates cars and anthing associated with them. It is becoming a real problem for us but we love eachother to death. Help!

Answer 1

Love removes barriers; she should be willing to compromise a bit and hate is a very strong emotion. You participate in her likes she participates in yours. Without give and take there can be no happiness in any relationship.

Answer 2

it's healthy for her to have her own interests. how would you feel if she were trying to get you interested in quilting?

there are times to support your spouse, like at the annual county fair entry for quilting or your annual big car race. that's about it...

Answer 3

If that's the only thing you have any interest in, then you may have big trouble ahead.  Sure, most couples have some things that only one partner is into.  For me and my fiance, his main passion that I don't get into is video games.  He loves them, I can take or leave them.  I love to make jewelry and go to wholesale shows.  He doesn't expect me to sit by his side with a controller for the PS3 and I don't expect him to follow me around from booth to booth at jewelry shows.  Those things, in general, we enjoy separately.  We do have things that we like doing together, though, such as travel, dining out, watching movies and going to basketball games.  I think as long as you have more interests that she does like, you will be fine.  If your whole life is wrapped up in car racing, however, then trying to make her be interested in it might be just as unfair as if she wanted to get you into knitting or gardening (assuming neither of these things are a passion for you.)

Answer 4

In any healthy relationship, each partner should have different interests and friends. When two people become too intertwined in eachother's lives they become too dependent on eachother for their happiness. That said, I do think if car-racing is this important to you it would be nice if you could attend the races together, watch them on T.V together or have her watch you race if that's what you do. Perhaps you could explain to her how important racing is to you, that you want her to be a part of it (however small) and you would be willing to do something for her (eg, go to the theater if that's what she likes). As she gets more involved in the car racing she may find she enjoys it. Perhaps she is scared you will get hurt. Or maybe she feels it's a bit of a 'boys' thing. Maybe she could bring a friend with her so she knows people. I hope things work out for you and if she still doesn't like racing after you have tried to get her involved, accept it.

Answer 5

I am sure she doesn't 'hate cars' - I'm sure she has one she drives herself to work in.

I think the first thing you need to accept is that she is not going to share 100% of your interests. So there are a couple of things you can do. You can try to force her to like the things you like - which aint going to work - she'll end up hating everything you want to do. If you do want to build an interest in her for your hobby, You could plan a weekend get away that includes activities you both enjoy. Sign up for a racing class. There are tracks where you can take driving lessons. That might introduce her to her inner Mario Andretti which would definitely get her more interested in cars. And then the next day take a long hike up a quiet mountain (if she likes hiking...you know what I mean) Alternatively - and this is the best suggestion of all: let it go. Let her come along if she wants, or let her go off and do her own thing w/ her girl pals while you do the car thing. If she doesn't feel pressured to participate she'll be more likely to want to do it just to be with you.

good luck

Answer 6

Yanno, it is okay to have some separate interests.  I mean, a person should not be joined at the hip to his/her spouse.  You don't have to do everything together.

I think it is good if a couple has one or two separate interests.

So take a friend along to the car racing.  Let your spouse pursue her own interests or hobbies while you are gone.

No one says she has to like car racing just because you do, LOL.  That would be silly, IMO.

If you are spending all your time at the races and spending no time with her???  Then you are the one with the problem.  Sorry, but you need some together time too.

Isn't it just a touch selfish to expect her to get involved in your interests?  I mean, I don't see you asking how to be more involved with HER interests or HER hobbies.  It works both ways, you know?  Maybe if you tried to share time doing one of HER interests, then she would be willing to go to a race with you???

Answer 7

If you love each other so much she would want to be with you and share in your passion.

My fiance is a racing driver in his spare time, so he is not professional but he loves the sport so much, and I must admit I dont find it very appealing but I have been to F1 with him and just to be close to him and watch him enjoying his thing is enough for me.

I never want him away from me and any second I can spend with him I will. I think its all about pleasing your partner and sometimes doing things you cant stand just because your partner loves it.

Maybe you should just leave her at home when a race is on and let her do the washing up or something.

Answer 8

If car racing is one of your foundational interests and she HATES it all, I'm sorry man, but I think you're in trouble. Once the "love-each-other-to-death" thing mellows a bit, mutual interests are what will keep your relationship healthy and strong. If she's going to be pissed every time your interest in cars comes up, what kind of life is that?

What DOES she like? If you can create a parallel or draw connections between cars and the things she's interested in, you might catch her interest. Maybe you can create some positive associations for her... like next time you go to a race, bring her home flowers or something. Tell her you were thinking about her and wishing she was there.

Good luck. :)

Answer 9

Show interest in something she likes but you loath.It's called compromise