Getting over ex partner?

Question

I cant forget about my ex partner he was violent to me and has to go to court for this. We split about 10 weeks ago I have met a few men who have asked me out and one of them seemed nice, I went out with him last night and had a lovely night but couldnt help comparing him to my ex. I cant get over him and even though this new man was lovely still felt bad and guilty going out with someone else.

Answer 1

as time goes by, you will start to think differently but time needs to heal you

PS-the experts agree not to have ANY contact with your EX...NONE!

Answer 2

Even if your partner is no longer with you, he still has control over you, that's how some abusive relationship work. Though he was an abuser you feel guilty for breaking it off and moving on. Technically he's still abusing you without even being in your life. You should let go of fear and any guilt you have. Don't get into any serious relationship right away, concentrate your attention on your career, friends, family, hobbies, etc. If you like a man who is dominating, you can find one without him being violent, controlling and abusive,

Answer 3

I can so understand how you feel, I was in a violent relationship many years ago and finally escaped, but only after I lost my dignity, self respect and a baby, all due to his violence. But I did get over it, I have to say that it took me along time and a few visits to a counsellor, who helped me understand that none of it was my fault at all.  

I feel for you in this situation as it is so hard to try to start over again, as that is what you have to do. Maybe you should talk to someone about it and also talk to this man you have meet about what you have just left, understand that he may not want to take it further, but if he is decent and you are honest with him then maybe you both will be able to go far with each other.

The only other thing is talk to your family and friends about what you are feeling, and have been through, even if you repeat yourself over and over again, don't bottle it up inside as you will explode, I have been through those same feelings you have and I found that by keeping busy, by going out, my work, the gym, family and friends etc. I soon found each day a little easier and you will too, But please do every thing in your power not to contact him as he will not change at all no matter how much you love him or he may love you. I had to lost a child to discover this, I would hate for you to go through the same thing as I. You are going to struggle with this, but if you have good family and friends and this new man is a good person and makes you feel good then go for it. it will take time but you will find that peace that you so deserve in your life.

I wish you so much luck, strength and love in what you look for and hope for.

xo

Answer 4

Its ok....no reason to feel guilty if your getting over him.