Getting over my soon to be ex wife.?

Question

My wife and I are divorcing, I am still very attracted to her, and I don't want to be, she has been very mean to me the past 8 years, and selfish, we are currently living together in her house because I wanted some time at the end of summer to be with the kids, I decided to move out of state and start fresh. She tells me the other night that she is going out on a date! I am floored, I said why can't you wait until I am gone? plus my feelings were hurt, she basically told me if I didn't like it I could leave, so she went. I need to get over this, can someone give me advice on breaking this spell?????

Answer 1

How disrespectful for your wife to do that. After all, you are still married, she should have waited. You are not wrong feeling the way you do.

Time heals all wounds...I know, its cliche but its true. I wouldnt be staying at her house though, you are kicking yourself while you are down.

Answer 2

It sounds like your ex-wife is over the relationship and ready to move on with her life and you aren't.  Although you wanted to stay because of the kids, I suspect that you also stayed because of her.  

I agree that what she did was callous but maybe you should take that as a wake up call.  Moving out of state and getting on with your life is probably the best thing you can do.

Good Luck!

Answer 3

One day at a time there is no easy way of doing it, just one day at a time. Hang in there.

Answer 4

Go out on your own date.

Answer 5

well it does sound as if she is very selfish and your not going to change that nor do you deserve it.

however, until you move and get out there will be no healing really that can happen.  too close still to the situation.  

start thinking about how you want and should  be treated.  take some time.  dont try to jump into somthing. and dont waste your time on whats not, concentrate on what is.

Answer 6

HELLO??? living together until your kids just cause you want to be with the kids? thats really weird.. I'd say your holding on for something thats more than likely never ever happen and don't you realize the kinda hope that you both are giving the kids??? Think about it and you can live in a motel if you had to and go and get the kids everyday and take them out... they must know you are getting a divorse right???

Wake up!!!! Don't use the kids to just be able to stay in the house that you once shared as a "FAMMILY" cause then your living in your own lil world and kids see past that big time....  

Answer 7

i'd lose my yahoo account if i told you what you should really do, so i won't.  i'm sick of getting new accounts.  

move out.  that's your first baby step.   move out.  

you can actually live pain free, but it takes an effort on your part.

move out.   now.  NOW!

Answer 8

find someone elsee ?

Answer 9

If she's really that rude, you don't deserve it!! You can find someone who treats you 1000 times better...good luck and be strong!!

Answer 10

Move out - you can always drive to her house and see your kids there.  

Answer 11

When I read this it sounds like you are basically keeping yourself in her life--whether she likes it or not.  She probably has tried to tell you on several occasions, and the fact that you are divorcing but still INSIST on staying at the home tells me that you are not wanting to move on.  But you cannot make her continue to love you and be faithful to you if the relationship is OVER...and it sounds OVER.

I hate to say it, but you set yourself up for this...she probably feels that its the only way for you to start getting over it!

Answer 12

Don't be a wimp and move on.

She has other plans and you should show some balls and just move on and leave EVERYTHING that both of you had behind.  Keep up with your kids, they will only have one father and that is you.  But for her, DO NOT TAKE ANYTHING that will remind you of her.  

Good Luck

  

Answer 13

There are so many woman looking for a guy its unreal . You just going to have to get use to the idea your free . Try one of the dating sites like True I got over 400 winks within a month . Some hot some not so hot some old some young . You need to get back out there and get laid . Dont be afraid  

Answer 14

Sadly, she has moved on and you are just taking a little longer.  You will get over her but first you need to get out of her house.  You are a great dad to want to be with your kids but as far as getting over her you need to get out of her house.

Answer 15

8 years is a long time and you have kids with her you cant just stop loving or wanting to be with her that quick, living with her must be making it worse so moving out should help but if those are your kids dont leave them to get over her. good luck with that

Answer 16

hi , gosh i wish i had advise , i was in kinda the same situation, my ex and i were married 15 yrs , but tried to live in the same house for the kids sake , well that lasted 1 month , he told me he was dating and he would  stay with her on the weekends and me weekdays  so he could be close to the kids, i was devistated he was dating  but had a fit if i wanted to , anyway long story short i kicked him out , he moved in with her that day and they married shortly after i filed for divorce and it was legal for him to do ,i was sooo attracted to him the entire 15 yrs i was with him, so that made it hard , to this day he is still with HER and i am single rasing our 4 kids alone , i have not seen him or been in contact for any reason in over a year , but i still get butterflies when i think of him or hear his voice if i have to call him for something . he says  he hates  me and does   not feel attracted to me at all , but how can i still feel IT without him feeling IT as well? i think he is lying ,  oh well life goes on , but the attraction  i think will forever stay, i think whats crazy is he totally tore apart our family but i still lust him from afar , he has no clue that i still do though. the SPELL as you  put it feels like for me a curse that d**n spell he has on me is never far away in thought, i dont think it will ever go away , sorry to say , u just have to live with it .....good luck it sucks .

attraction is usually a great thing but not when its with your ex =( i feel for you ......

Answer 17

u need to move out.  give yourself some time.  when it's right you will start to date.  go out and have some fun. lots of things are easier said than done but give yourself some space from her.

good luck