Getting ready for a dorm?

Question

I don't want my roommate to control me...so I wanna be frank from the start. I asked her kindly if we could split up getting stuff and she replied that she already had a tv to bring but then selfishly said that she personally would like a fridge if I'd get one. I mean she used "I" instead of "us" that makes me insolent from the get go. I'm gonna lay down the laws cuz I can't stand for one min. being forced to act in a way which I don't like. I'm afraid she is less sensitive that she'll be living with someone else. How do I let her know as calm as possible that she must respect my stuff and me...NO EXCEPTIONS?

Answer 1

Oh dear, this is not a good match already. Perhaps you should have gotten a single...

I know you think SHE has an attitude problem but so do you. You don't want to be controlled but you are controlling. So she's bringing the TV but suggested you get a fridge. That's hardly the end of the world. It was probably a combination of poor word choice and you interpreting it in your own way when she just meant, "Hey, I have the TV so could ya bring a fridge? I think it'd be nice to have one." If you don't have the money for a minifridge yourself or want her to pay for half then just tell her, "Yeah, a fridge would be nice but I don't have much money right now. Do you think you could help pay half? We could go shopping for one TOGETHER when we move in."

Togetherness is the key when it comes to roommates. Do not buy anything large that could impact her without letting her know and letting her state her opinion. And do not go running to Y!A screaming about how controlling your roommate is because she won't let you bring in this really cool, awesome, cheap, amazing, s**y ping pong table you found.

Your RA will most likely give you a paper for you and your roommate to fill out that will create the "rules" of your dorm. There you can list bed time, what can and cannot be shared, etc. But do realize that YOU are living with someone else and you're going to have to respect her. Even if she doesn't chip in half don't get a fridge and then not let her use it. Just tell her that she's getting the microwave/toaster/whatever else you need/want.

Answer 2

well you should tell are that you dont got a mini fridge and say if you have one bring it but if you then dont bother me im not buying one maybe you should get something that i got that you like or something of yours.