Getting tubes tied at age 19 after first child ?

Question

i dont like children im 19 and im 30 weeks pregnant im due halloween and my bf wants more children cuz were having a girl were pretty sure its a girl anyway and he wants a boy ive told him i want my tubes tied cuz i dont like birth control i just dont like having to take pills or have patches or any of the side effects of birth control. we got pregnant by accident. and its sucks were haveing this child.. so what do you think about me just asking the doctor to tie my tubes after i deliver and not tell my bf i got it done so later h**l just think we cant get pregnant ? do you think the dr will do it since im so young .. i live in florida and im on medicaid .. just let me know what you think .. i know i just didnt wnt any children to begin with ... thank you

Answer 1

so much i'd like to say right now BUT i'll just say this.

Do you really think it's fair to lie to your boyfriend like that?  

Answer 2

Sure! If you decide later that you want children you can have the procedure reversed.. so i say go ahead!  

Answer 3

You can choose to have whatever procedure done that you would like.

I find it very deceitful that you would consider doing it and lying to him about it. That could really damage your relationship.

You may also have a change of heart later on and decide that you would like for your daughter to have a brother/sister.

If you aren't ready to be a mom, then maybe consider adoption or giving your boyfriend full parental rights. Afterall, you did say, "and its sucks were haveing this child.. ".  

Answer 4

my question to you is why are you even keeping this child if you don't like children and it sucks so bad.  

Answer 5

I think you need to consider having this child first off.  Do you know how much damage you are doing to your unborn child right now as it still inside of you???  Emotional problems and such can develop right from the start, how would you feel if you knew your mom didnt want you but had you for the sake of her boyfriend? C'mon grow up!  You're about to be a parent to a child you don't even want!  You need to focus on what you are going to do with this child before you have it and before you think about your future birth control options!

Answer 6

It's not likely a doctor will do that unless he thinks it's medically necessary.

Answer 7

I don't think having tubes tied, or a vasectomy, to permanently rule out children is ever a good idea.  Practically speaking, you can never reverse the decision and you're very young to decide that.  

I think it would be very wrong to get it done and deceive your boyfriend.

Morally, I believe that it should be left in God's hands, but that's not a very strong argument for someone not trying to follow God.

I think you need to accept that you have this child and do your best to give of yourself to this child.

I think you should get married to your boyfriend, or if he's not suitable marriage material, then end the relationship and wait for further s*x until you are married.

Answer 8

I think you'll regret it, you can't lie to your boyfriend, that's horrible.   But do what you want, just tell him.

Answer 9

First off medicaid won't pay for it ..i tried it's about 4grand to get done and most doctors wont do it until your 21 ....again i tried i had my son at 18 and didn'tt want kids either and apparently birth control does me no good since i just had my 2nd child i'm 21 now (pregnant both times on birth controll) and i begged my doctor to tie my tubes this time and he said your too young to make that decision .. i was pissed but what do you do he wouldn't do it .. i feel for you though and as for your b/f don't lie to him about it.. cause in all honesty it's not fair to him.

Answer 10

Your reasons are shady and you seem pretty headstrong about your decisions.

Just remember that you're far too young to make experienced, life changing decisions, especially since this guy is your bf and not your husband (Who you may feel much differently about in the future) and that you could very well end up cherishing and loving this kid more than you could ever imagine, possibly leaving you wishing you could have another one.

The operation "is" reversible, but we are talking about making big changes to your reproductive system. There are always possibilities of problems, and when it comes to your ability to make children, a complication could turn this into the biggest make of your life.

Or not! Who knows?

But for now, considering that your reasons for this decision are shaky at best, I would very seriously reconsider some other kind of contraceptives.

Edit: I just read about the 21 rule.

That's a little better, I guess.

Answer 11

Doctor's won't do that procedure so young unless it is a medical necessity.  You may not want children now, but women are having children later in life into there late 30's early 40's, even later.  I know you may not think so now but you will change so much as time goes on, and you may change your mind about that.  And if you think about it, how fair is it to limit your boyfriend's life.  He wants more kids, if you do this and he can't have more children, you are risking your relationship.  I know side effects of medication stinks, but there are so many methods now.  Seriously think about it.  

Answer 12

You have to be 21 or three children before they will tie your tubes.....  my cousin tried at 19 also....

Answer 13

you'll probably find that the doctor WON'T do the procedure because of your age. Every state it's different, I've heard anything from the amount of children you have to your age being the factor if you can have the surgery, and it's not so much the doctor that won't do it, the insurance won't cover it. Also, The surgeries aren't made to be reversed, so it's not that simple. it normally leaves you pretty close to infertile, and once again, insurance doesn't cover it and it quite pricey, IF by chance you ever change your mind. Have you looked into getting a IUD? A IUD leaves you with about the same amount of protection and they can be hormone free.. and can be taken out easily, some last for 10 years.. Something to think about.

  As for the child you are having, why didn't you just abort when you found out you were pregnant if you are that against having children at all?  Maybe you should consider adoption or giving full custody to the boyfriend. It doesn't sound like you want the baby at all, I just wonder how you'll life will be once the baby is here. good luck

Answer 14

First of all it is your body. If you don't like kids and don't want more, then you should have the procedure. You need to trust yourself.  He doesn't have control over your body. You should however be upfront with your boyfriend. Deceit will ruin the relationship.  If he loves you he will understand.  You are very young and  you will not necessarily be together forever.  A child lasts a lifetime.