Gift to give to soon-to-be-step daughter?

Question

I am marrying in June. I have 4 kids, he has one. His daughter and I have become close. Her mom recently dropped all of her parental rights and has really crushed her.

I want to get her something, not a giftcard or flowers or take her out to eat or take her shopping or to a spa, something meaningful with a message. I want her to know tha I love her and that she is very important to me in so many ways that I would love to adopt her(which we have been talking about for quite some time)just like her Dad is adopting my kids(they lost their father last year). I don't want to pressure her, but I want her to know, I will always be there for her.

I was thinking a necklace, like a locket or a charm bracelett and I get her a new charm every once in a while. Or maybe a music box. I'm unsure.

Could someone please help me?

Answer 1

Here is one of my favorites from Things Remembered:

Make-A-Wish® Star Keepsake Box   $19.99

This bright new star hold five stars - Dream, Peace, Hope and Love. The box itself features Swarovski® latest creations - aurora borealis crystals that give off a rainbow effect. And as always, a $2.00 donation will be made to the Make-A-Wish Foundation® with every box purchased. A thoughtful engraved message would make the gift complete.

You could tell her that these are the things you wish for her....  Peace......Hope......Love.....Dream.

And that no matter how hard things seem you can put one of these little stars in your hand and I am  just a wish away.

Answer 2

that's a proposturous idea!! i would certainly go with the encrusted diamond necklace. set you back a feqw pounds or so but it's totally worth it! i think the bracelet would be a load of coswallop, as the child will think it's "candy" and eat it.

Answer 3

I think absolutely a necklace.  For young girls I think jewelry means a lot and it's something she's wear always and be able to hold it tight if she's worried or confused and think of your love for and confidence in her.  I'd steer away from the charm bracelet idea as it might not look trendy down the road, which might be important to her at some point.  A nice silver or gold (whatever the kids wear these days) cross with a small diamond in the center or a heart possibly?

Answer 4

How awesome that you have this great big family now!  I love the idea of getting her something special- just between you and her.  I've read the answers above me and really believe in a necklace.  No matter how old/big she gets, it will probably always fit.  You could get a locket and put a little something special in it- does not have to be a photo, but it could be something else--piece of a flower, piece of I don't know whatever may be special to the both of you.  You can also give the charm bracelet on your wedding day, and the other special gifts on other special days like her birthday.

Congrats!

Answer 5

Perhaps get the 2 of you similar rings, only making yours a mother's ring, with everyone in your family's birthstones, and getting her a similar one, only in a necklace.  Also, perhaps in your wedding, it might be nice to include your kids in the ceremony, where the children are asked do you take him as your new father?, her as your new mother?  Ask and rehearse this before the wedding.  Also, in many states, the step parent adoption is done on the day of the wedding, which might be nice to include your family anniversary, along with your wedding anniversary.  We did these things with our kids.

Answer 6

i like the idea of the locket or the charm bracelet you should give her the bracelet with a heart charm on it.

Answer 7

give her a charm for a bracelet or necklace with both of ur names on it .... and write her a letter .. explaining that you dont wish to take her mothers place ... but that you love her as if she was urs and that she is a chosen gift from God to you ..... and that you want to be a big part of her life and her a big part of yours!   Would be a great idea to have a commitment letter read to her written by you at the wedding... might be a great place to give her the charm or token of love.

Answer 8

get her a life because you don't have one

Answer 9

When we got married my stepdaughter was five years old, we got her a ring also. Rings are a symbol of your commitment to each other. Latter we realized she thought it was a wedding for all three of us.

She is much bigger now and we put it on a necklace. It's amazing looking at the ring to see how much she has grown in the last few years.

A charm bracelet is a good idea also.

Answer 10

My mother started a charm bracelet for me when I was a little girl and then she bought me a charm for every family vacation or every important milestone in my life.  I truly cherish it even now because it is filled with so many beautiful memories.

Another thought for a step child who is starting a "new life" (since you indicated she is struggling with her mom abandoning her) would be a butterfly charm or necklace.  I have always felt as an adoptive mom that butterflies were a great way to honor an adoptive relationship because you are starting a new life.  

Congrats on your wedding.

Answer 11

I like the idea of an special day, experience like the spa or something special.  Take lots of pics and scrapbook it together later!

Answer 12

I think you have the right ideas:

To start a charm bracelet and adding to it with a significant charm that relates to special events that happen from the time you became her step mom is a gift that could be never ending; a music box, personally engraved, with a special melody that means something between both of you; or if you plan on taking a honeymoon, you could bring back a unique piece of jewelry for her.

Best wishes on your new marriage!

Answer 13

I like the locket idea.  You should do that and put a cute picture of just the two of you in it.  That way she can see the 2 of you together all the time.

Answer 14

WOW!! you sound like a very caring mom!! and your family sounds like will be very lucky to have one another!! I read a book recently called the "5 languages of love" By Dr. GARY CHAPMAN and it says how we all have different ways of expressing our love. we may speak it differntly then we may want to recieve it... Find out what her love language is and give her that...

http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/ ---> the website

http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/30sec.h... ---> assessment to see which love language you are :))

Answer 15

definitely the jewelry. My mom gave me a charm bracelet years ago and its so special to me because she STILL buys me charms every once in a while.

  the locket is really nice, maybe you can have a picture of you and her in the locket, she would love that, im sure!

  the charm bracelet is a nice gift though because its sophisticated and every 13 year old wants to feel sophisticated yet its a timeless present that she can wear for the rest of her life and say "my real mom gave this to me" when her kids ask her about it in the future (you of course, being her real mom for caring for her)

  so good luck and I hope you find something lovely. Good luck with the wedding as well! congratulations, bride -to- be!

Answer 16

The best gift of all : understanding & love.

Answer 17

It's so good that you're there for her, that she has someone like you that is not allowing her to feel alone!

I would go for the necklace. Something that she can treasure for all her life.

You could put it in a music box and give both to her. You could put a message there saying  that for now on she is your daughter and that said you always be there for her.

Congrats on your wedding and on your family. May you all be really happy, you sure deserve it!