Girlfriend at college, problem with her partying.... HELP!?

Question

Well this is her second year at college and we have been going out for 3 years (we meant in high school). Well she is going to college 2 hours away and we did fine last year, with minimal fights.

She was not a big partier at all but this year her best friends love partying so she has been going aswell. Its been driving me insane, like i feel as if i am losing her. I mean she says she wants to marry me and she is not partying because she wants to but is doing it so she is not alone in her dorm. She promises she is not talking to other guys and has no fun? I just dont know why she would even go?

I talked to her about how i am feeling really sad and that i do not like her going out every single weekend. She feels really bad and we got into a huge fight because she thinks i do not trust her. I do, i mean i am the type of guy who likes watching movies and stuff, i have fun with out drinking and partying with other girls (or w/e)...

Like for some reason i just cant get over this fact. Like i love this girl to death but idk, its making me really sad and i dont know if i cant handle being sad forever.

What should i do, what can i say to her.

I just need help feeling better i guess....

Thanks =/

Answer 1

Bare with it. If u love her u have to. Its normal for people to want to go out and party; its something she has experience for herself. I know u miss her and everything its understandable but u need to give her some time for herself to do her own thing. U should probably start doing ur own thing also. It will get easier, I know it seems so difficult and painful right now but it will.

Things change, relationships change.

Answer 2

if u really love her u should understand how she feels. the fact that she's partying doesn't mean that she's talking/flirting or doing anything with other guys.i think u should have a lil more faith in her... she's only partying on weekends... so what's the big deal?

and u said u like "movies, have fun out drinking and partying with other girls"

so why can u do it but she can't?

if u can't handle being in a distant relationship i think u should take a break from the relationship and when u guys live closer, then try and work things out..

but if u really love her, i think u should haev a lil more faith in her and give her some trust...

Answer 3

you are an are going through the same kind of **** right now homie.  Errr but it sounds like shes deceiving you.  Who goes to a party without parting?  Who goes to a party and does not have fun.  Why keep going if its not fun the first time.  Those are the questions you've gotta ask yourself before you keep up this relationship.  There are plenty of fish in the sea and one fish that likes to be eaten by many other fish is not worth that magic carp you're looking for.  And no not the pokemon that evolves into garydos either.

Shes bored alone up there once in a while drive up there and hangout with her, but if that doesn't help then break up.  Face the facts shes in college.  Many other guys tons of them are single.  People and feelings change.  If she cant focus in school and having a good relationship with you then shes not worth it.

Answer 4

Dude...You do not own her so if she wants to kick it in the dorms u r out of luck. Guarantee you this though--booze plus women plus horny college boys = bad news for you.

My answer would be that you have told her how you feel and that the rest is up to her. If she gives in to old demon alcohol there isn't a darn thing you can do but get another girl.

Dude...Read your addendum response. Your "little boy" comment is reflective of why you will lose this girl. Throw all the tantrums you want but after you decide to be a man you will come to realize that it was you all along that drove her away.

By the way, SB's answer is "dead on" and I'd suggest you heed it.

Answer 5

Don't get so jealous! Let her have fun. If she strays, then the relationship was wrong anyway, and it would be better to find out sooner rather than later.

Answer 6

She party's on weekends

and your separated by only two hours

seems like you could  get there  if you tried

its a collage town  surely transportation and a place to crash  

not only in her  but your town also  

i mean if money is the issue  which it must be

Ok then  don't you two have  or have access to computers

what about video cam  hours on end  for the week end

She promises you she doesn't talk to guys and has no fun

yeah right  

shes not to creative then hug    

you two like the drama I'm thinking

cause if either wanted this not to be an issue

then it would not be

come on  your collage kids  for Gods sake

Answer 7

Ya know, if I were this girl's friend/relative, I would tell her to break off the relationship.  Why shouldn't she go out and have fun with other people?  This is what college kids do!  There's a reason why most people say that their college years were the best years of their lives, and it's not because they sat on their butts and watched movies for four years.

You know she is lying to you when she says she has no fun- OF COURSE she is having fun- and you should want her to.  She should be going out and sociallizing and meeting all sorts of new people!  And being that men make up half of the population of Earth, she should be talking to them too.  That's what people her age do!  You should be supportive and happy for her.  Don't you think it's kind of pathetic that you force her to lie to you about wanting to be a normal kid her age?  Why are you trying to make her feel bad about doing what almost every college student in history chooses to do with their social life?

Also, what you are feeling is not "sad" it's jealous!  And you have a much greater chance of "losing" her if you make her feel intimidated by your tantrums constantly because of your jealousy.

If you don't let her be herself and do what she wants to do- for WHATEVER reason she wants to do it- her friends and family will hate you, and will pressure her to break up with you.  And if she doesn't, she will eventually hate you for taking away her chance to be young and go to parties and have a normal college experience.

If you REALLY love this girl, and are not just obsessed with controlling her (which is what it sounds like) then let her go out and have fun and do what she wants.  You can't keep her from meeting other guys forever, and if there is a different type of guy she wants to date, it will happen no matter how much you try to control her!

All you're doing is driving her away and giving her reasons to leave you.

EDIT: Nick, she decided to have a relationship with you, not to act like she's dead.