gets here and spends the night "as friends" using my bedroom but me in the other room.Although she had made it clear over the phone she was only coming over as "friends" I have deep feelings for her,as I took her virginity when I was 18 and then went to prison for 2.5 yrs after stabbing a guy 9 times and then she visited me once in prison and I haven't seen her in aprx 18.5 yrs and we are both recently divorced in our late 30's.I had two unlit candles on the coffee table with a rose and she kind of gave me a strange look.The next am she says she has a chick friend aprx 100 miles away and got her #,calls her so we go down to visit and my ex girlfriend and her friend decide we can spend the night.Then my ex starts flirting with some other dude.He leaves.My ex asks me if I would like to take her car home and come pick her up in a day or so or if I want to come out and stay with her and her chick friend and her boyfriend.I,like an idiot,reply "is it only going to be the 4 of us" and she says "yes" so I go out to the yacht.We get to the yacht and she EXCESSIVELY moons a crowd on a tour barge,very very raunchly.Then after aprx 3 hrs they decide to go pick up the other dude and he and she start excessive flirting,so I try to excuse myself and my ex starts wanting me to stay near her while she flirts with this dude,whom I was seriously condsidering knocking in the head and dumping overboard,but out of respect to I was given fair warning by their earlier actions that this may happen I just as politley as I could stayed the heck as far from them as possible.I do no think anything happend between them,not that it is any of my business.I asked her if their were any feelings about "us" in her at all,and she said "about potential?... no" .My ex said in front of me:"I wish I gave a fk but I don't" .... anyway,the next am we woke,(the other dude actually slept up top and she and I in the cabin in seperate bunks,anyway,he was led off by boat and then aprx an hr later she & I were brought inland to were her car was.We went out and walked together on the beach,had lunch,went back to my home,showered,swam in my pool and then went out for a 2.5 hr boat ride on a swamp tour .Leaving the swamp tour she breaks out a cd that I have never heard with songs that obviously were kind of about "us".We listened to this CD on the 30 mile trip back to my home.I cooked her a dinner and had a few shots of whiskey while she burned the cd on my computer.We did not talk about "us".She soon retired to bed,woke this am and left back to the yacht.
Although it seriously tore me up inside for her to behave that way in front of me it was the most time I have ever spent with someone I truly desired with every oz of my being to be spending time with,although it was quite obvious she did not feel the same.But it felt nice that she actually went to the beach with me and to the swamp and burned a cd for me.Am I in the wrong for feeling hurt and offeneded or was she being extremely cruel.I am over weight and she is sort of hot although a little chunky,but is this how a girl would behave in front of someone that she even had respect that they were a human being or should I be completely dissed by this?When I got out of prison in 1991 I talked to her on the phone and in letters and told her I was no good for her but she was talking about all of these guys to me then as well.She posts on myspace how S****y she is and blah blah blah ....
I tried to apologize to her for any hurt I did to her.She still has the last letter I wrote her from when I was out of prison and I told her that I was no good for her.Should I keep writing her in emails if she writes me.She did driver down 360 miles to my home 3 weeks after I contacted her for the first time in 17 years although when she got here she obviously had no romantic feelings.It just felt like she was TRYING to hurt my feeling on the boat,but then spending the day romanticly with me on the beach,swamp ride and dinner and music was so nice ...
I don't know if that meant anything to her at all,but it feels like she wanted to hurt me badly and she did,but what would be your opinion of such situation?
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