Girlfriend gone two weekends in a row. Feeling hurt and lonely. Is it me?

Question

last friday she went to a poker party at her sister and brother-in-laws and spent the night so she didn't have to drive home. apparently the party got over around four in the morning and she slept till about ten. they layed around the house till about four in the afternoon. she left their house and took her daughter (who had gone with her) to the mall and ultimately got home at ten that night. her and her daughter then left around noon on sunday, to pick up my girlfriends other, younger daughter and take both girls to the park. on my way home from a quick shopping trip, i ran by the park to visit with them but they were not there. (my girlfriend has chastised me for not doing more things with them, and i thought this would be chance to do so). everyone got home around seven sunday.

this wednesday she announced that her sister and her husband (from 400 hundred miles away) were coming to the races and camping for the weekend in the infield, and that her and her other sister (near us) were meeting them there on thursday. it is pretty much a three day party.

i was invited to both the party last weekend and the camping trip. however, my girlfriend knows that i can't afford to be gambling, (or really even know poker!), am not into all night parties, don't like to camp (actually i kind of enjoy it, except for in the morning, with no coffee and a long sandy walk to the shower - bathroom), have a bad impression of her sister and husband from out of town, and that we have two dogs and two cats at home that need to be taken care of.

all this has me feeling as if she doesn't care too much about us. i offered to go with her for the day to the racetrack where they're at instead of her leaving for three days, and this was firmly rejected. i have thought to myself that i would never do the things to her that she is doing to me lately, but i'm wondering if i am coming off as being unreasonable for not wanting her to be gone so much. trust is not really an issue for me, i don't believe she is cheating or anything like that. i have never been controlling or told her she couldn't do something, and bear in mind she has a four year old who is with us almost all the time, so i can't blame her too much for wanting to get out. however, she is not an emotionally warm person and i can't get through to her how i feel. sorry for the length! seeking opinions. thanks.

Answer 1

A good way to make yourself feel better right now is to call up one of your own friends and schedule a weekend trip or outing or invite them over for beer if you can't leave the house. Do something social with your own friends to help feel better immediately.

As for long term... If this was the first time she did this sort of thing, I'd say you were over reacting. People in relationships have lives of their own and sometimes they can go away without the other person. But it sounds like this isn't the first time and you've been feeling ignored for a long time.

Maybe, during a time when you know she'll be home, just leave for your friends house and say you'll be back "whenever". If she seems concerned while you're gone and worried, then maybe there's a chance to get through to her that YOU feel like that when she leaves for long periods of time. But if you find out she didn't care at all, then maybe it's time to think about getting another girlfriend.  

Answer 2

You sound like a person who want to be with a person who is not on the same page. Love is a wonder-full thing and although you cannot spend all your time together, you do want to. I don't believe she will change..... Start looking after your needs and what you want out of life. Sit her down and tell you how you feel. If she has a positive reaction then give it a try for 2 months. If nothing is better - Call it Q's.

If she - after the talk had no positive feelings - Start making plans to move on.

Answer 3

it sounds like she is really into her family right now and not so much into spending time with you.   you are home, working, taking care of the pets and she is enjoying the freedom you give her to come and go as she pleases.

unfortunately, you are the one who is lonely and feeling rejected.  i think its time you started doing things too.  if you want to stay in this relationship, then plan a picnic in the park next weekend or something that does not involve her family.  if she is not interested in spending time with you, i think you need to move on.  

Answer 4

She"s just not into you.  Move on.  This WILL get worse.  

Answer 5

maybe she 's no time for you

Answer 6

h**l she's your girlfriend and she has kids, and she has no time for you.

I met a girl with three kids and married her and its so not worth it.

get out of this relationship, start something new.