Girlfriend smokes occasionally - changing her?

Question

I love my gf and have loved her for the 11months that we've been together. I haven't seen her ever smoke a cigarette in front of me. She lives very far away (together at college) and when she's with her friends from home she will smoke a cigarette when they're out drinking or something.

I've already brought it up once and told her that I was brought up being brainwashed about how bad cigarettes are - and being a premed student i believe in it..and not only do i want her to just say no for me (i think its a huge turnoff) but more for her own health.

It ended up being a huge fight where i felt that she couldn't sacrifice one small thing for our relationship and made me question the reciprocity between us (i feel like if she ever asked me to change something i would do it)....and resulted in us making a couple rules that

she'll only do it when she's out with her friends sometimes

she'll never do it alone

she'll never do it around me

and i guess i was ok with her accepting atleast that....but i still see picture of her smoking when she's out and god it bothers me so much!! why is she doing something so unnecessary and damaging to her health?!!

Asking someone to change for you can be like a breaking point i feel....and i don't know if i should just live with it or bring it up again.

When i think about it...the "either me or a stick of tobacco...u pick" line crosses my mind several times...but then all the memories from the past 11months come rushing through my head and i couldn't imagine losing her. help!

Answer 1

this is a rough subject.. only she can decide to quit completely.. pressuring her to quit will only make things worse...most people who smoke already know the risks of it and often feel as thou their partner or loved ones are judging them...no matter what stand by her side if u love her, and she will wise up soon enough... Good Luck!!

Answer 2

no point...old habit die hard