Girls in Pants Quotes (Exact Words Please)?

Question

What are the two exact quotes from the books Girls in Pants? One goes like, "boy meets girl, girl dies in tragic hot air ballon accident" and the other goes like "the way to get hit by lightning is to stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky and shout 'storms stink!'" I'd really like the exact wording; thank you!

Answer 1

Haha im rereading that book right now :)

"Its the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girl dies in a tragic blimp accident over the orange bowl on new years day" - The Naked Gun

"Your chances of getting hit by lightning go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky and say "storms suck!" - johnny carson

Answer 2

Girls f**t in their pants. True story. Does anyone deny that?