Give me a funny joke?

Question

preferably a short one

Answer 1

ok first of all id like to say that im not racist at all... i just like jokes in general and this is the only one that popped in my head...

Q: Whats the difference between a picnic bench and a mexican?

A: A Picnic bench can support a family of four...

IM NOT RACIST I SWEAR!!!

Answer 2

right on get ready to put on your frown up side down with ur looking good on ur smile face and laugh it out anyway here just watch and learn from those whores

one day I get my *** beat by those gang of clowny or joky in the circus loop its all good homey a good pimp can always scrathger on his muffin once a while so don't worry bout' it and most of all I'm just run along like a little dun dun cuz I know dun dun beat up now don't I I'm dun dun cuz when I go to the circus I'm not watching all those clown make a joke and all that kind of stuff u know what I'm doing I hit a bunny girl wearing with those outfits so the clown saw me at the back of the stage then I get beat up like that

Answer 3

Q: Why were blondes given 2% more brains than horses?

A: So that they don't p**p on the streets during parades.

Answer 4

Landing on the Sun

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"

The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"

The Blonde said, "So what, we're going to be the first on the sun!"

The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.

To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. we're going at night!"

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A blonde and a brunette are driving down the highway in a convertible. The brunette knows that she's speeding so she asks the blonde if there's a cop behind them. The blonde looks behind her and sees a cop and tells the brunette. The brunette then asks if his he's got his lights on. The blonde replies "Yes...No...Yes...No...Yes...No"

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I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take a leave. I thought that maybe if I acted 'CRAZY' then he would tell me to take a few days off. So I hung upside down from the ceiling and made funny noises.

My coworker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing? I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was 'CRAZY' and give me a few days off.

A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked 'What are you doing ?' I told him I was a light bulb. He said 'You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days.'

I jumped down and walked out of the office. When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss said to her, ' And where do you think you're going?

(You're gonna love this..... )

She said, 'I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark!'

Answer 5

One day a teacher asks a student a question.

T:One plus one equal to..?''

S;Four teacher.

T;One plus one is not four.Go back your home and ask your family!

In home,the student saw her father is reading a newspaper.Then the student asks,

S:Father,one plus one equal to how many?

F;Dont know!Then the student go to the kitchen and saw his mum is cooking in the kitchen.Then the student asks,

S;Mum,one plus one equal to how many?

M:Dont disturb me!Then the student saw his grandfather and he asks,

S:Grandpa,one plus one equal to what?His grandpa just finished reading a book then he says,

GF:Ok!

The student go to the school again after the day.Then the teacher asks him,

T:One plus one equal to?

S;Dont know!The teacher is so angry and ask him again,

T:I ask you one more time,one plus one equal to??

S:Dont disturb me!The teacher is too angry this time and she says,

T:If you dont know again this time,you no need  come again to school!!

Then the student says,

S:Ok!

:D!

Answer 6

what do you have when you've got one green ball in your left hand and one in your right hand-kermit the frog begging for mercy

Answer 7

joke1

Little Johny says, "Daddy, I wish I had a little sister."

Trying to be funny, the daddy says, "Honey, you do have a sister. You just don't see her because when you are coming in the front door, she is always leaving through the back door."

Little Johny thought about this and remarked, "You mean like my other Daddy does?"

joke2

Teacher asked the students to make one exclamatory sentence...

Teacher : four beautiful ladies r walking on the road. change it to exclamatory sentence ..

Student : WOW !

joke3

A drunk guy is walking down the street. He sees this nun, runs up and knocks her over. He says, "You don't feel so tough now, do you, Batman!?"

joke4

Did you know that studies have indicated that diarrhea is actually a hereditary disease?

Yep… It runs in the jeans!  

Answer 8

Memory's Going

An eighty year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they arrived at the doctor's office, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory.

After checking the couple out, the doctor told them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down, making notes to help them remember things. The couple thanked the doctor and left.

Later that night while watching TV, the old man got up from his chair and his wife asked, "Where are you going?"

He replied, "To the kitchen."

She asked, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"

"Sure."

Then his wife asked him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?"

"No, I can remember that."

"Well, I also would like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down cause I know you'll forget that," his wife said.

"I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."

She replied, "Well, I also would like whipped cream on top. I know you will forget that. You had better write it down."

With irritation in his voice, he said, "I don't need to write that down, I can remember that." He went into the kitchen.

After about 20 minutes, he returned from the kitchen and handed her a plate of bacon and eggs.

She stared at the plate for a moment and said, "You forgot my toast."

Answer 9

A good website for good jokes is jibjab.com. They have every conceivable category.

Answer 10

Q: Why did Pinglett look in the toilet?

A: He was looking for Pooh.

:D :D :D