Give up my life to save hers?

Question

i just broke up with my G/F for cheating on me while our daughter was upstairs asleep .i have been there for my stepdaughter since she was born. her mother is bi-polar and treats her really bad, all she knows is me and my family. well i told her that it was over and that im not gonna put up with her stuff, so she moved back to her moms which is like 5 hours away and told me that i'd never see my S/D ever again. As the car pulled away i could see her looking back crying and yelling daddy, it just broke my heart. i have no thought on taking her back but i don't know if i'll make it without my S/D she was all i had. now she's probly gettin yelled at and treated bad as i speak but i can't save her from her mom now. should i take her back just to make sure my S/D doesnt have a horrible life.

Answer 1

no dont take her back but continue to stay involved in ur step daughters life. go get her and bring her to your home for weekends..i mean i really don't know..this is a tough one. if u think there is no other way to protect ur step daughter then do what u feel is right...good luck with that...

Answer 2

NO!! She cheated on you, and that is stepping over way too many boundaries. You should talk to the grandmother and tell her you want rights to see your daughter, my mother broke up with her boyfriend, and I still continued to have a relationship with him for 20 years now. I know it hurts, but your girlfriend should be mature enough to let you see her daughter.

Sorry dude, I bet it sucks being cheated on, that's even worse that the daughter was upstairs asleep.

Hey Advice Givers, you can't just take a child, you have to call child services or social services and report the abuse, then the kid goes to foster care or group homes.

Whatever you do, don't get back with that crazy woman.

Answer 3

well maybe you should just take the child away from her mother. obviously she wants YOU and NOT the mom. and if the mother is treating her badly, then you should tke the child, because if not, then your being a bad father or step father by not keeping that child safe. somtimes u have to do what you dont want to do... think of it as that little girls life :[ and i dont mean steal her away from her mother, just call child protective services, and try to adopt her because YOU want her. :]

Answer 4

I think that you could maybe give your ex a second chance but if something happens again I would cut her off but still visit her house only to see her stepdaughter. Maybe you could take her out for the day, to like the park or for ice cream. That way she'll still have you but you won't have to sacrifice your life, and she'll look forward to seeing you too.

Answer 5

You don't need to s***w her mother to be in your step daughter's life. If you truly wanting to be a part of her life and not just being on here to find reason and justification for your actions, you should consider on being her Godfather.

Answer 6

Unfortunately the law does not see it the way that you and I do.  I can tell that you are a loving father to her. But, not her real father. If you take her away from her mother, you will be prosecuted. There are other ways to go about this..maybe calling child services?

Answer 7

You should MOST deffinately not take her back unless you want to. If you only take her back b/c your worried about your step daughter imagine how your step daughter will grow up with you hating her mom and vice versa. Hopefully what'll happen is the crazy ***** will come to her senses and let you see her on a regular basis and maybe if your up for it you could talk to her about adopting her!!?

I wish you the best of luck with this truely unfortunate situation!!

Don't give up on your daughter no matter what she(the X) says!!

Answer 8

Ok. First things first. You are to be commended for being a decent loving person. You supported a lady with bipolar, which can be hard, I know as I am a mental health nurse. You need to have a few days to let things cool down. Then you can decide what to do. Did your girlfriend cheat as she had stopped her meds and was high with her illness at the time? is this regular for her to do? some bipolar people when high become promiscuous. I think that it is a good idea to remain calm and ask her family to see the child. How old is the child? It must be rough on her seeing all of this. Can you arrange for her to live with you? would her mum allow that some of the time when she has cooled? If her mum treats her bad;ly, is this because of her unstable illness or is she just a nasty abusive person?  

Answer 9

That's a hard one to answer. I would talk to a lawyer and see what he says. I think if you have enough witnesses to her bad mothering you might have a chance of custody it's worth a shot. Sorry I can't be much help my heart goes out to you.

Take care, and follow your heart .

Answer 10

OMG, you are so kind and caring. You shouldn't take her back, but you should try and fight for custody. My friend's dad was just like that, but the court agreed with my mom and she has custody of her. Try and fight, good luck and if you need any help you can email me. [e-mail]

Answer 11

Its nice that you love ur sd but if u die, won't she just be sadder?

Get ur family and talk with them about it and talk to ur bi-polar wife. I feel so ssorry for ur sd.

Answer 12

If she is being abused then you need to call child protective services.