Giving Away the Bride?

Question

People here are always talking about having their father walk them down the aisle. Didn't that go out with having someone give away the bride? Or are there a lot of ceremonies that still include that? My friend is getting married in a very conservative Lutheran synod that not only allows but apparently requires having someone give away the bride. I was under the impression that his church was an oddity. Do a lot of churches or other set weddings (generally religious) allow having someone give away the bride?

Answer 1

Some churches actually "require" someone to walk the bride down the aisle and give her to the groom. But aside from that it's a tradition that hasn't died out at all! I've been to over 20 weddings in my lifetime and all have someone significant walking the bride to her groom.

Answer 2

I've been to 5 weddings so far this summer alone, with 2 more to go...one of the weddings I was in.  I have never seen a bride either not be given away or walked down the bride by her father/step-father or other significant person.  My future sister-in-law is not religious whatsoever and she is being walked down the aisle by her mother's bf because she was left by her father when she was little.

Answer 3

Conservative Protestant:  bride is usually escorted by father or other male relative (brother).  A holdover from the middle ages, and dowries. He is giving away the bride-- and a bunch of money, three cows, and 40 acres to the groom. (LOL)

Actually MARTIN LUTHER changed the marriage laws in the Reformation, giving more rights to women for divorce, and making marriage a STATE responsibility, instead  of an institution totally controlled by the Catholic Church. (I'm descended from Luther, grin). But the conservative synods ignore a lot of Luther's writing, natch.  So they interpret this as a father's role/obligation/ right to give his daughter away.  It's bizarre, I know, but you can't do much about it in a conservative mindset.  They get away with this oddness by calling it "traditional".

In more liberal protestant churches, anybody can walk the bride down the aisle, or she can walk alone.  In Jewish marriages, the entire family (grandparents, parents) walk the bride AND groom to the altar - same thing in Middle Eastern weddings.  It symbolizes the support of the families, and the merging of families (and those 40 acres :-).

Language:  in conservative weddings, you can ask to have the language include the mom, as in "Who gives this woman" ... "Her mother and I do".    

I never use this question, we ask the parents for their love and support, instead.  I put a link below to the language -- but it's basically "You who have nurtured this woman, do you now offer your love and support in her new life to come, and do you offer your blessing on her marriage", etc, and the parents say "We do".  That way, the mother can stand up with the father when the bride gets to the altar, and ask this question.  You can ask the same question of the groom's parents.

Good luck!

PS.  Both the Catholic church and the Episcopal (Anglican) church have removed the word "Obey" from their vows.  Check those Lutherans, though!  I put the link below ....

Answer 4

At my wedding, I had my father walk me down the aisle.  It was a traditional Catholic wedding and I'm a traditional person.  

To answer you other questions, I'm not sure how many brides walk just with their father, but that's what I've seen at every wedding I've attended.  I didn't know churches had guidelines for who had to give away the bride, though.  I could have chosen to walk myself down the aisle or have both my parents, or just my mom or just my dad.

Answer 5

I've never heard of that as a requirement, but it is really the most common way for a bride to approach the alter. It's more of a sweet gesture now. Of all the weddings I ever attended, mine was the only one that did not include this. I walked toward the minister hand in hand with my fiance/husband.

Answer 6

At the vast majority of weddings I've been to, the father has walked the bride down the aisle, and given her away. I've never heard of it being a requirement, though.

When we got married, my husband and I walked up the aisle together. Now, we first chose this since my father had passed away a few years earlier, and my mom didn't want to do it. What we found out shortly after, was that this is going back to a very old tradition in our religion/culture - Ukrainian Catholic - that the bride and groom come in together, as mature individuals, to be married.

There is no part of the service which includes a 'giving away'.

Answer 7

I don't think people typically view it as "giving away" the bride anymore.  It is tradition that someone accompany the bride down the aisle, but a lot of brides go solo.  I have an absent father, so my mom walked me down the aisle.  She didn't "give me away", but it's just a nice touch.  Plus, that is a very nervous time for the bride and it helps to have someone else there to support her.

Answer 8

The walking down the aisle is more of an escort from her old life to the new.

Many ceremonies still ask "who gives this woman?" in many religions and civil ceremoniesnies.  ?Its jsut one fo those traditional lines.  

Answer 9

My father is walking me down the aisle, and giving me away at the end of it.  I'm pretty traditional, and it has more to do with my decision than the church (we aren't even getting married in a church).

I think it's the brides preference really, most churches/ministers don't dictate what has to be said, and it doesn't have to be "give away", you can change the wording.

Answer 10

I have been to both.  It seems now a days the mother and father walk the bride down the aisle. But, nothing wrong with daddy doing it alone. I think its sweeter when Dad alone does it.  

Answer 11

Out of the 11 weddings I've been to, someone has always walked the bride down the isle, though it is up to the bride who does it.  For my aunts second wedding, she had both her sons walk, my cousin had both parents, a friend of mine had her best male friend, I've seen the father walk her down (what I would prefer)  I don't think its as traditional that the father has to do it, but all weddings I've seen in a church have someone give away the bride.