Giving a child up for adoption..?

Question

How does it feel to give your child up for adoption? Is there a sadness or a happiness that they'll hopefully have a better life... Personally I cannot comprehend how someone can carry a child for 9 months and then get it up for adoption...

And for people who give their baby up after childbirth and 'bonding time' (lets say from 6months onwards) why did you do it?

Im not preaching, judging or looking down on anyone, Just want a different perspective on things...

Adoptees, how did you feel when you found out you were adopted, and if you could cahnge anything, would you?

Answer 1

I'm an adoptee. My parents have told me I was adopted since I was old enough to understand and I've always been okay with it. My birth mother left me a letter saying that she was going through a really hard time and felt I would be better off. Looking at my family's history, I agree. I would have never had the chances I've had and I'm very thankful for her decision.

Answer 2

I was adopted.  I am glad my birth mother gave me  a chance at a better life, with a father in it.

Answer 3

It is not easy to give a child up for adoption.  But, I believe, in a lot of cases, it is just the right thing to do.  I wanted more than anything to be close to my baby.  I felt jealous when I saw mothers with their babies.  But in my case, I found that to be selfish.  I'm not as prepared as the adoptive parents I chose.  They deserved a child more than I did at that point.  They could actually provide for him.  But I made sure that I would have a very open adoption.  I didn't "give up" my son.  I gained a whole new family.  I still see my son, and hear from the adoptive parents every week.  If the adoption weren't so open, I don't think I could have gone through with it.

Answer 4

I've always known I was adopted, at 6 weeks. It was a closed adoption, and my adoptive parents haven't always been straight forward with the details. That part was kind of hard growing up.

Basically, all I've ever wanted is information, such as what did my birth parents look like, medical history, heritage and what not. Be honest, be open and tell the children the basics.

I am currently pregnant, and am dying to know if there's any genetic stuff to look out for, but my adoptive parents wouldn't help me get the medical records necessary. It's just something I've had to live with.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Answer 5

I wasn't adopted but seriously I wish i would have been my mother didn't take care of her body when she was pregnant and didn't take care of me after I was born. But I guess looking on the other side I would want to know about my heritage and medical problems. I think that all children should know their heritage and family history. I've had a child and couldn't personally give it up but I'm not looking down at women who do I think they are brave and stronge women. They see that they can't provide for the child so they make the selfless decison to give the baby away..

Answer 6

I gave a child up for adoption when i was barely 14.  I had no help and no support and the father was 21 and really didn't want anything to do with any of it.  I have since been married for 20 years and have 3 children.  I still wonder about the baby i gave up(he is 24 now) and still celebrate his birthday but i wouldn't have changed my decision.  Upon raising the 3 children i have now i know i made the best decision for him at that time.  There is no way i could have raised him properly at the age of 14 and with no help from anyone.

Answer 7

from my own personal exsperiance of giveing a baby up it is hard and i do think about the baby all the time..but if the women or girl has benn raped(like I was) then it may be easyer for her to give the bby up rather then have a constant reminder of the rape...even though this happend i could not see keeping the baby..now he has a wondefule family ho sends me pictures of him quite offten..but it is still a heart renching ordil..

Answer 8

Being sold up for adoption sucks ***, Not to mention if no one wants you, nothing can feel more S****y then that i suppose. (My father was an Orphan)

Answer 9

Life was different in 1972, there was such shame and stigma attached to an unwed mother. I was a teen, just graduated from High School. My boyfriend was about to be drafted, but chose the Navy, (this was the Viet Nam war). His parents insisted on adoption, it was best for everyone (that's what we were told). For years I suffered from depression. I couldn't function when her birthday came around, I cried all day. I had reoccurring nightmares about forgetting to feed her and finding her dead in the bedroom. I ended up marrying my boyfriend, 1 1/2 years after she was born. We've been been together for 38 years, married almost 35. It was a bad decision that we shouldn't have had to make. Our parents thought they were doing the right thing for us, but it wasn't and we have all had to live with the decision. We were ignorant about birth control, so when my son became a teen, I made sure he was educated about how to protect himself from disease and unwanted pregnancy.

Answer 10

Here are blogs written by relinquishing mothers -

http://www.adultadoptees.org/forum/index...

Here are blogs written by adoptees -

http://www.adultadoptees.org/forum/index...

I really haven't got the energy to explain more than that for now.

Let's say it's extremely complex  - & my feelings (in a nutshell) - if it really doesn't have to happen - mother's and babies should be kept together - if they can be.

Answer 11

Well i gave up a baby for adoption, at first the father was going to give me the money for an abortion cuz he didn't want anything to do with me or the baby, then i talked it over with my mom and we gave her to a family who couldn't have children. When i got home from the hospital i was crying nonstop then after about 2 or more months i was okay the main thing is i never had any regrets.

Answer 12

to find out that youre adopted, was the worst thing for my friend Lizzie. she felt hatred for her adopted parents for not telling her, its a horrible thing, even if it was a teen pregnecy or something