Giving up for adoption?

Question

A girl had s*x with me while i was drunk and she was sober. Now she is pregnant and I dont want the baby to be with her because she is an unfit mother yet, i know i can not yet take care of a kid. Can i put it up for adoption? Do i have to get custody first then put it up for adoption? Can i do that?

Answer 1

You would have to prove her unfit and have all parental rights taken away from her in order to have full physical custody and the right to put the baby up without her permission and chances are the judge won't give you custody just so you can put the baby up for adoption.  Now you could get a lawyer and prove her unfit to have her rights taken away then put the child up for adoption without actually ever taken custody.  You will need to talk to a family attorney to find out the right and legal way to handle it and you will have to find 100% proof that she is unfit because walking into the courtroom and it being your words against hers isn't good enough.

Answer 2

The technical, legal answers have already been given, so I´d like to address this from another angle.

Who are you to say she is an unfit mother?

Does she already have children that she treats badly, or is this her first pregnancy?

If the latter is the case, there is no way of knowing she will be an unfit mother.

The fact she got knocked up by a drunk does not necessarily mean she will be a bad mother.

So only time will tell.

I get the impression your wish to see the child adopted is primarily based on a need to get even, while the only consideration should be the interest of the child.

It is not good for a child to be taken away from the mother. What grew together should not be taken apart out of spite.

Whether you are able to take care of the child or not, you are its father, so for the sake of the future of this child, you'd better find out how you can be supportive instead of seeking condemnation.

Answer 3

First of all, her HUSBAND is the legal father of this child and has  a lot of legal rights   to this child.  He would have to sign a Parental Relinquishment in order for this baby to be adopted, or for you to get custody.  It would be best for you to establish yourself as the baby's bio father first through DNA testing.  Best possibility would be if you and she agreed to place the baby for adoption together.  If that is out, then considering going for custody.  She would have to sign a Relinquishment in order for the baby to be adopted, unless a judge deems her unfit over time through documented negligence or abuse.  Good luck.  And by the way, a girl "having s*x with you while you were drunk"?  Guys do have to agree to participate, ya know!  Don't put yourself in that situation again.  For your baby's sake.

Answer 4

How do you know for sure your the dad? Could be anyones. She has to be proven a bad mother in order for the baby to be taken away. So get your child support money ready.

Answer 5

probably not, unless once the baby is born you have proof of abuse.

Answer 6

It's not up to you- unless the court decides she is unfit the mom she will have the ultimate decision making power.

Answer 7

Unfortunately, she has to be deemed an "unfit" mother by the courts before you are given any rights to the child. The only other option is for her to relinquish her parental rights.

Answer 8

Another example of a parent failing  at parenting another "man?".  Let me guess she poked a hole in the condom. That vixen.   You should have been honest with her about your lack of character so she chose a better sperm donor.

NO you cannot put the baby up for adoption unless she hands the parental rights over to you. Good luck with that. I suggest leaving her alone and just pay child support before the court forces you to.

Answer 9

OKay so I'll be pretty honest in the fact that she deff. screwed you over and you're going to be even more screwed if she keeps it. All 50 states now require that both parent's social secuirty numbers be presented at the child's birth. I would ask for a paternity test though, it might be her ex's for all you know and she's blaming you. Talk to her and see if she's up for the adoption, if not, then I would take her to court. The way she's going about it, this child has a very strong chance of having many disabilities or even being dead at birth. People need to see she will probably not be much of a better when the kid gets here. Best wishes & Don't drink that much again, or you could be screwed over by someone else later on. :)

Answer 10

Well you can look in the ads for parents who are looking to adopt unborn children. then all u have to do is set up a meet with them. get all the legal stuff out of the way and when the baby is delivered, u can tell the couple. like in juno. but once u agree to the couple u have to take very good care of the baby.

good luck

hope i helped

Answer 11

Got a surprise for you. Her husband is the legal father of this child if you are in the US.  He's the one that would have to fork over the child support, so unless he's a fool, he will try to get custody.

Answer 12

The child cannot be put up for adoption unless BOTH birth parents consent.

Answer 13

You would need to prove she was unfit firstly. If she is drinking and doing drugs I would consider that child endangerment. If the baby is born drunk or high the courts will remove the baby from her care.

I assume from what you posted she has a daughter with her ex-husband would he be willing to adopt then the baby can be with her sister. Grant it’s a lot to take on since this poor baby will likely have severe issues due to being  abused while in utero. The baby will probably also  have a harder time being adopted due to the health issues this poor child could have because of her “mothers” selfish behavior. Most People want  healthy babys not a sickly baby with severe issues.

Answer 14

sorry but it really doesnt sound like the baby is even going to live.. I mean she is smoking and drinking and partying that isnt very good...