Giving up to adoption--is it a white thing?

Question

I live in a US state that borders Mexico. We obviously have many people coming here to use the hospitals, benefits (Medicare, WIC, etc.) all free of charge.

With the highest birthrate in the country for unmarried women, they don't seem to be victim to the adoption industry the way white girls are. There seems to be a double standard in this country--Mexican girls are allowed to keep their children, get benefits (weather or not they're citizens) and not harrassed for 'paying what they owe' like white girls.

I worked at a big-box retailer PT for years. There was a sweet Mexican girl who had become pregnant, and hadn't yet signed up for insurance. When I expressed genuine shock and worry for her, she touched my arm, and said, "Don't worry, people like me don't have to pay to have a baby."

So, if that's true, then why are these white girls made to feel that there is no choice? Why are they desparate in the wealthiest country in the world? Is it demand for white babies?

Answer 1

Although I think this is your was of slighting Hispanics and, I'll answer it anyway.

I am Hispanic of Mexican descent, and What I have noticed it that many Caucasion women who place children have the EXACT same benefits through the government based on income (usually) , so I doubt medical coverage is bewteen these 2 groups are that different. Aren't you thankful these women aviod these pressures?

What I have noticed (based on my personal experiences an nothing else) that the  Hispanic culture celebrates the birth of a child differently than some Cuacasion cultures. Women are supported with love from their families. In my family when a person gets pregnant, planned or not, it is joyous the parents may show disappointmemt, but come around. When a baby is born we have all the women (friends&  family) In the room. We tend to be close knit. But that is not always the case.

I think that ANYONE should be able to get emergency medical care reguardless of their citizenship, but not at the government. Also I feel that the cost of medical care shouldn't be the determining factor when deciding to place.

SO my thought......

There are more white people than any other group living in the US therefore more white people seeking a child to adopt. And many of them want children who look like them.

But based on your statement one (not me) could say, hay maybe Mexican families appreciate family and children more and less likely to place. Maybe there's less of a stigma within the hispanic culture.

Who realy knows, we could make rediculous assumptions all day, but that doen't get anyone anywhere.

ETA----- my mother was a divorced hispanic woman who refused to go on welfare (often at the expense of our health, but anyways). she worked a low wage job to make ends meet. Yes she had MANY flaws as a mother, but I can say atleast she was a hard worker and relied on herself. I guess it runs in our family

Answer 2

In the Baby Scoop Era of the 50's, 60's, and 70's, adoption was definitely a white thing.  (20% white relinquishment vs. 1% non-white relinquishment).  Now white relinquishment rates are almost as low as non-white (thank you sisters!).

In the new millennium, I think that people desperately try to make white girls feel that they have no choice because the demand for white infants is so high.  They are grasping at their last chance because they put material things before true happiness.  Then they try to use their material things to make them appear to be more deserving parents than poor people.  I pity them to some extent but also feel that they need to accept their selfish choices.

Yup - it is a white thing.

Answer 3

I think it's more of a way society looks at the "White people" now. I do believe there is not a stigma when it comes to Mexicans, and black woman having babies without marriage. White girls are looked down upon when it comes to that. Adoption is a great thing. I will not say different. However.. how many white girls do you see on Maury trying to find their baby's daddy???

Answer 4

No, it is not just a white thing.  If it was there would be far more white babies being place for adoption than other races and that is clearly not the case.  Unfortunately I think that preassuring young girls/women to place their children for adoption happens in many (most?) cultures.

By the way I found that article bordering on racist with its broad generalisations about hispanics and asians.

Answer 5

Consumer demands a supply  of healthy white infants.  It's so sad.  Incredibly sad

Answer 6

White girls are "victims to the adoption industry".  I was a young single mom, and know many other young single moms, and no one was lining up trying to kidnap our babies.  Poor white girls don't pay a cent more to have a baby than a poor hispanic girl - if they can't figure that out from five minutes and a medicaid pamphlet then I doubt they'd be able to read a shot record or mix baby cereal either.  Stop trying to make something out of nothing.

Answer 7

Maybe this is a cultural thing.   Unfortunately, our predominate "anglo" culture does not always value extended family like other cultures.  This is a problem in many areas like the care of aging parents.  It seems that many "anglo" families are geographically seperated and don't feel an obligation to watch out for extended family. In an individualistic culture,  many "white" girls who are pregnant are told to go it alone.  It is also seen  as a failure in "white" culture to have a baby at a young age...I don't think there is this same stigma in other cultures.

In many Latino families, there are generations living in close proximity to help care for little ones and older people.  There is a belief that family is "everything"  and it is an individual's responsibility to care for each other.   Babies are part of life and I don't think there is the same sense of scorn that is found in white culture.  So, for instance, while a Mexican baby might be born into povery, it will be surrounded by grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc...who will help.

For white girls their choice is often to raise their baby alone.  They are isolated. Money has nothing to do with isolation.   As the richest country in the world we are also an incresingly isolated people.  This is evident in how we care for our children and elderly in every sector, not just adoption.

So, yes, it is a "white thing" but I think it is so much more complicated than "baby demand"   This sense that the demand for white babies is responsible for all the problems, I think, puts the burden unfairly on adoptive mothers, while avoiding some deeper, more disturbing issues.

Answer 8

Did you even read the article that said was your source? It clearly explains the answer to your question. Hispanic families do not see single unwed mothers as a bad thing, they have no problem (ab)using the welfare and healthcare system that has been set up for CITIZENS, and they have strong family support.

Here are some quotes from your article:

"Not only has illegitimacy become perfectly ACCEPTABLE, they say, but so has the resort to welfare and social services to cope with it."

"A lot of the grandmothers are single as well; they never married, or they had successive partners. So the mom sends the message to her daughter that it's OK to have children out of wedlock."

"The most powerful Hispanic family value – the tight-knit extended family – facilitates unwed child rearing. "

"Hispanics now dominate the federal Women, Infants and Children free food program; Hispanic enrollment grew more than 25 percent from 1996 to 2002, while black enrollment dropped 12 percent and white enrollment dropped 6.5 percent.

"Illegal immigrants can get welfare programs for their American-born children. ...It has become "culturally OK" for the Hispanic population to use the shelter and welfare system...A case manager at a program for pregnant homeless women in the city of Orange observes the same acculturation to the social services sector, with its grievance mongering and sense of victimhood. "I'll have women in my office on their fifth child, when the others have already been placed in foster care...There's nothing shameful about having multiple children that you can't care for and to be pregnant again, because then you can blame the system."

They have the family support and no qualms about (ab)using the welfare system, so why give babies up? Something needs to happen with their support system and then you may see a change.

If you argue that people only want white babies, then is that a industry issue or a demand issue? I think that it is a demand issue where unfortunately the "product" is children.

Answer 9

You would rather see a girl raise her child in poverty? you think it's ok to not have to pay for your own child? you wouldn't rather your child be in a home with 2 parents that love it, can financially support it and give it a good life? i'm just giving you my opinion here, but ya, maybe it is a "white thing". and maybe that's why "white" guys have run the wealthiest country in the world for decades. instead of a "mexican" who would allow our children, in general, to live so poorly.

Answer 10

In 2001 when I confessed to coworkers that I had found my birthdaughter, (no one knew I had, had a baby 29 years ago) some of my black co-workers said , that adoption is a white thing, we black people stick together and keep our baby's. As far as the illegal mexicans, yes, for some reason it is easier for them to get welfare and have their babies, not sure why. Since giving my daughter up in 1972, I would hope that the tactics used back then are no longer in practice or that the girls now, are not as foolish as we were. I would hope that they are educated in birth control and not kept in the dark as I was.

Answer 11

You got it right on target. You think like me. Young women should not be pressured into giving up their babies. And what is best for the baby is being with mom. no one on here ever cared if their mother was rich or went to college! You just loved being with your mother all the time. You get more grief for giving up a dog these days than if you give up your own flesh and blood.

Answer 12

lots of good answers and i do believe it is a cultural thing.  Look at some other cultures -- when their parents become elderly and sick, they move them into the household -- not a nursing home.  Extended family is valued much more in other cultures than our hurry up, me me me culture.

at the same time, i can also agree with Alyssa's Mommy re: medicaid and Angel re: Maury.  Welfare does help the first few years but then what?   when you get booted off welfare, how do you go from not working to getting a job that will support you and pay your rent, food, electric, transportation, etc?

We have programs like that to keep families together but it only works for so long unless we want to breed generations on welfare which most taxpaying citizens don't want to do.

What's the solution?  better s*x ed?  Going after fathers to ensure that they pay and parent their children? Parenting classes?  what?  how do you decrease the supply of babies or children in Foster Care?

EDITED:::::

ok, i'm wrong.  I responded without really reading hte article.  Good God!  the stats provided are horrible.  Young 13, 14 yo fathers!!! generations Welfare use and abuse? and you're telling me this is good for society whether it be black, white, hispanic heritage?  This is preferred to adoption?

Answer 13

sunny, once more, you hit the nail on the head.

but...there are other variables besides the racism and preference to white babies:  many latinas do not believe in adoption and usually raise the children in the family.

re: pressures on white young women: adoption is driven by the consumers of the product--usually white, middle-class couples.  the same discrimination that happens to black girls, also happens to latinas. their babies are only desired if there is a couple waiting; and the fmom has no history of 1) drug use, 2) STDs, 3) criminal activity...

this is always an issue of contention for me.  although i don't approve of the practice of newborn adoption, i do recognize that there are some young women who wish to place.  but, if they are not white, they are frequently considered "hard to place" or sent to foster care.  yet, white girls don't really have that problem, due to the demand.  if they want to place, they are almost guaranteed help. yet, the downside to the demand is that if they are ambivelant or want to terminate or parent, they are hounded and told that "it's a loving choice."  so i do agree that there is more pressure on white girls to place.

my opinion: if adoption was all about saving babies from abortion and the h**l of single parenthood, then all babies, regardless of race, should be equally valued.  but we know that's not the case...that is unless there's a paying customer waiting; and the young lady has the "right attributes."

the entire industry needs a major overhaul...

Answer 14

Well it only makes sense when white babies are the most sought after infant.  

Very true Cruzgirl my sister in law is from El Salvador and the majority of her family still lives there and all of them live fairly close to each other, so they were always there to help take care of each other if needed, and still are.

Some of these young woman clearly need to be educated in birthcontrol.

I don’t agree with anyone mooching off the government, I can understand getting some assistance but we clearly have people out there that are abusing it and have no problem doing so. Great values are being passed down.

Answer 15

Because histocially, yes, it is a white thing. Though relinquishment is more based on an classism...it's middle class and keeping up with the jones.

And yes, it is based on the demand for a white infant.

Now, we are a more color blind society and bi-racial and AA kids are more adoptable, but you can still see the difference in rates in "prices"  And as a counrty we export our AA males over age 2 to Canada because of no demand.

Answer 16

I'm sorry, but are you saying that you would prefer babies to be murdered before having a chance at life (aka abortion)?  Are you so heartless and cruel that you can sit on your high horse and defend 4000 women a day in USA killing their own flesh and blood!?  As a person who was adopted and reunited with your mother, which you both regret, you may have forgotten about the millions of people who weren't given the chance to even live.

Answer 17

I haven't read it, but the book Wake Up Little Susie: Single Pregnancy and Race Before Roe v. Wade addresses the disparity between white and African-American adoption rates in the Boomer/Baby Scoop Era.

Answer 18

Well in someways, yes, the biggest demand in the adoption industry is the white children under age 2. But you also have to keep in mind it is a cultural thing as well. American's have a throw away society. If you don't want something, you don't have to keep it. If pregnancy is in the way of your dreams, we teach the young of our society that they don't have to keep their children. Mexican's seem to have a bigger sense of family and responsibility towards the children.

The medicaid program in this country is also very giving. You don't have to be a citizen. They count the unborn child as a member of the family when they look at income guidelines as well. I have one child, and if I was to get pregnant tomorrow I would qualify for medicaid because I make below $35,000. To me that is a very high income bracket. Educated people with a college degree have a starting salary less than that in the area I live.

Answer 19

I am white, however, even if I wasn't I could only answer this question one way-

"they don't seem to be a victim to the adoption industry"=  are you trying to say that woman are pressured into adopting out their babies/  Maybe mexican girls actually want to keep their babies-   I have never heard of anyone falling victim to the adoption industry- adoption is getting such a bad rap now a days- however I can say this- I AM VERY THANKFUL THAT MY 2 ADOPTED CHILDREN, AND MYSELF, ALSO AN ADOPTEE DID NOT VALL VICTIM TO AN ABORTION.

Answer 20

no it's not a white thing but questions like this are apparently

if u r white does that mean u r stupid ?

Answer 21

My son's first mom was Mexican. She chose adoption mainly because my son's first father is black. The only person who would have accepted her baby is her mom, who was not a good person to say the least. Also, she thought my son's first dad might stay with her if she did not have a child. Also, she was on medicaid, so health care was not a factor.

I don't think health care is a big factor in adoption. Millions of Americans raise children without health care. It's not uncommon unfortunately. From what I've gathered, all the women who have used my son's adoption agency had health care, whether it be medicaid or through their parents. Also, many women who do not have health care are choosing home births. I had a friend who just did this. She loved it and it was about a 1/4 of the cost of having a baby in the hospital.

My son's adoption agency has had 5 first moms come through: 3 caucasian, 1 black, and 1 Mexican. Only one was a drug addict whose baby was born with drugs in his system. One was 14 yo being raised by a single mom herself. One was in her late 30's. One was young but had multiple other kids already in CPS.

Take from this what you will. I really can't say why more white girls give up babies. You're guess is as good as mine.

Answer 22

Maybe they actually want is best for the baby.  Instead of living in poverty and on welfare.

Answer 23

Don't even get me started... I lived and went to middle/high school in El Paso and am glad to be back in Big D. You are opening a big can of worms, Darlin. I was a minority. My mom is an immigration officer in h**l's p**s Hole, I mean, El Paso. I was passed up on scholarships that were given to a classmate whose parents came over illegally to give birth. I was flat out told I was the more qualified candidate, but this peron was trying to improve the life of her family. I should mention that I am the first person in my family to ever go to college. I paid for it all, got my B.A. in 2 years, and am done before I go off the handle.