Godparent responsibilities.?

Question

What do I do if the I am the godfather and the parent just died?

I am the godfather of my girlfriends best friends daughter. The child's mother died in a tragic traffic accident only a week ago. The father of the child is unknown. The mother has no surviving family. The boy 1 who is one year old is in an orphanage in the Philippines where he will stay for 60 days unless the family comes forward. I am in the US. I can't adopt the boy, I'm not married and already care for three teenage daughters, one is autistic. What are my responsibilities as godfather?

Answer 1

actually your job as a god parent is to take the child in and raise them when something like this happens. legally, im not sure what you can do. if no family member comes forward,im pretty sure they will try their best to help you get him because no one want to see a child in an orphanage. i suggest you contact a lawyer to see what your options are.  

Answer 2

I am so sorry for your loss.  Situations like this leave you in the position of choosing the least awful situation, not the one that you'd most like.  It sounds like you care a great deal for your godson, so I'm sure that with careful thought and prayer, you will do what is best.  

It is not specifically your job as godfather to raise your godson in this situation.  Obviously, it would be really nice if you were able and willing to do so, but it sounds like you have your hands full at the moment, so bringing him to live with you might not be best for either of you, anyway.  Your job as godfather is to look out for your godson and do everything you can to ensure that he is placed in the situation that is best for him.  Along the way, it is also your job to do everything you can to ensure that he continues to be brought up with the religious values that his mother had intended, which you obviously must share if she chose you as godfather.  This doesn't mean that he has to be placed with someone who shares your religious values, but he should be with someone who will allow you and/or others to guide this aspect of his life.  For example, even if you are Christian, it is OK for your godson to be placed with a Jewish family, if they allow him to attend church and religious education and do not attempt to dissuade him from Christianity - in that situation, you have still done your job!  Even if you are not able to ensure your godson's placement in such a situation (note that you are only required to "do your best" - no one expects you to be Superman), you should continue to have contact with him and teach him by example.  

You didn't say why your godson is in the Philippines - is that where he lived, or were they on vacation or for some other reason? - but I think your first step would be to take a look at his options.  First of all, hopefully his mom made some provisions for her son's care in her will.  If that is the case, and you do not have any serious reasons for not agreeing, you should advocate for her wishes to be carried out.  If Mom did not have a will, or did not specify her choice for guardian in it or chose you, you should take a look at all of the other individuals in the child's life:  close friends of his mom's, parents of his friends, other caring individuals, and even friends or relatives of yours or of your girlfriend.  Perhaps take another look at your own situation and re-evaluate one more time if you are able to take him in (not that I'm saying that you should - you just want to make sure you've seriously considered ALL of the options).  You might also consider an open adoption, where an adoption agency would find a suitable family for him, but you would still be allowed to have contact.  Look at every option that you have (even the ones that seem crazy), do some serious thinking, soul-searching, and praying, and decide which you think would be in your godson's best interests.  Then, do whatever you have to do (including getting a lawyer) to push for that to be the thing that happens.  

Good luck with this terrible situation, and God bless!  You and your godson are in my prayers.