Going about adopting a child?

Question

What is the criteria for adopting a child?

Has anyone adopted a child who can tell me what it was like?

Me and my wife are considering adoption.

Answer 1

There are so many different answers, which all will be right.  I've had an exceptionally easy adoption process, where last year on my birhday in early June, I mentioned that I wanted to adopt, and by September 19, we had a baby boy in my arms, by being introduced by a mutual friend.  Now the couple is pregnant again, and they've asked us to adopt this baby also.  

We did everything legally, including home study, and attorney to handle the process, and everything costs us less than $1000.00, not including normal things like diapers, crib, etc, which would come with having a child the "normal" way.  If you have someone you know that wishes to place a child, it's much easier than other routes.

Foster care has many children who need homes.  They range from newborn (rare) to older teens.  The rules vary state to state, but overall, you'll have interviews and physical home study, criminal checks, fingerprint checks, and abuse checks in EVERY legal adoption.  With foster care, and in adoption in some states, you'll have to attend courses which explain some of the ups and downs to adoption, and they're educational about some of the feelings adoptees have, although I've found this forum very educational from adoptees themselves, both good and bad, and everything in between.  

The emotional rollercoaster of adoption is very hard.  Many times, mothers who talk about placing their child often change their mind.  Even after a child is placed in your arms and home, and then you're almost to the waiting period to be over, and every time someone knocks on the door, your heart falls to your feet.  You need to be strong emotionally, mentally, and physically, because it's draining, even in the situation where I was, and the parents were asking us to adopt.  

Agencies charge 1000's upon 1000's to adopt.  You have to go through some of the same stuff, however, they are generally pretty good about screening women who wish to place, and you have some protection about paying fees and getting your money back.  If you privately pay anything in adoption (I'm talking legal things ), you can't get anything back if she changes her mind.  I encourage open adoption only if you are truly going to follow through with the adoption being open.  You can't promise a woman that you'll be open and let her visit, then get the baby and run.  Many do, and in the end, the child will hate you for it.  Always be honest with the child about their adoption, and always be the best parent for the child that you can be.  Someone summed it up best and said that the child should never be born with a job to do, like being your child.  To me, it is an honor to be able to raise children, and I want them to always know their 1st parents, and I hope that I'm the parent they need me to be, and I hope they love me and their bio parents at least 1/2 of what I love them.

Answer 2

I read a really good book called "Yes, You Can Adopt".  It gives a good overview of the types of adoption fost/adopt, domestic and international.  I found learning about the adoption process to be really overwhelming at first but after reading a lot it is not so intimidating anymore.  Good Luck.